Breaking Tegridy
by Walter Bryan Cranston White
Summary: Randy's business is losing profit thanks to newcomer Walter White and Randy will do anything to make sure business stays alive. This story is totally separate from my canon and Breaking Bad's canon. I just wanted to make a fun story
1. The Man From ABQ

We open to a pleasant night on some random road.

An RV drives on the road where we zoom in on some bullet holes on the RV.

Knowing that the driver has been in some serious shit.

The RV than drove into South Park.

* * *

Intro

Starring

Randy Marsh

Bryan Cranston

Towelie

Aaron Paul

Sharon Marsh

Stan Marsh

Shelly Marsh

Title card shows up.

Breaking Tegridy.

* * *

Announcer: _Do you want some fucking Tegridy? Weed that tastes and smells like home? Well here at Tegridy Farms we give you all that. Tegridy Farms, we provide because we care about Tegridy._

Suddenly the ad was paused.

Randy: What do you think of the commercial?

Towelie was on the laptop.

Towelie: This was the 4th time you showed me the commercial Randy and I'm not gonna lie, it keeps getting better.

Randy: Yeah. Some fucking Tegridy. How are we doing Towelie?

Towelie: Randy it's not good.

Randy: What do you mean?

Towelie: There's been a 35% decrease in sales for the last three weeks.

Randy: What?! How can that happen?!

Sharon, Stan and Shelly enter the room.

Randy: Sharon this is outrageous.

Sharon: What is?

Randy: We're down 35% in sales.

Stan (Speaking in sarcasm): Oh no. That doesn't sound good.

But really Stan, Shelly and Sharon were grinning.

Randy: I know it doesn't. Stan, Shelly, you two need to wear your Tegridy t-shirts so we can-

Randy turns around to see Stan and Shelly have disappeared.

Randy: Where did they go?

Sharon: They ran into the car.

Randy: Why?

Sharon: Because we've been invited to a house warming party.

Randy: When?

Sharon: Four days ago.

Randy: Oh.

Sharon: Were you even listening to a word I was saying about it?

Randy: I think I was high at that point.

Sharon: Of course you were. We were invited to a house warming party by Mr White.

Randy: Oh the Whites have moved?

Sharon: No there's a new Mr White.

Randy: Another one? Wouldn't that cause confusion?

Sharon: I don't know. Perhaps. Anyway are you coming? Mr White would appreciate it.

Randy: No. Business comes first Sharon and you know it.

Sharon: Alright. Fuck you too.

Sharon left.

Randy: I wonder why my business is going down?

Stotch residence.

Randy is knocking on the door and Stephen answers.

Randy: Hey Stephen.

Stephen: Oh hey Randy.

Randy: What's going on? I came here with your Christmas snow.

Stephen: No thanks we got something better.

Stephen shows Randy a bag of blue rocks.

Towelie: What are those?

Randy: They look like rocks.

Stephen: No Randy they're minerals. Jesus. This is Blue Sky. It's a form of crystal meth.

Randy: Crystal meth? Isn't that illegal.

Stephen: No. Meth's been legal for a while Randy. You just haven't been catching up on the news for a while.

**(A/N: I know meth is illegal but if South Park can make cocaine legal than I can make meth legal).**

Randy: Why are they better?

Stephen: Well Linda seems to think they're better.

Randy sees Linda doing a river dance on the couch.

Linda: River dance. Stephen look at me.

Stephen: Yes well done Linda.

Randy: So no weed?

Stephen: Sorry Randy, but we'll buy your weed if we have any problems.

Randy: Fuck you!

Stephen: Randy?

Randy: Fuck all of you!

Stephen: Randy this is a little-

Randy grabs Stephen.

Randy: Who's selling these?

Stephen: Why it's the new resident of South Park. He moved here three weeks ago and he lives at your old house. His name is Walter White.

Randy: He bought that hunk of shit? Fuck him.

Randy leaves the house.

Later.

Old Marsh residence.

Randy was knocking on the door.

Gerald answered.

Gerald: Hello Randy.

Randy: Let me in!

Randy walked in and realised this was the house party that Sharon was talking about.

Randy: Where is Mr White?!

Mr White (Jason's Dad): Yes I'm here. But nobody noticed me because I'm a White.

Randy: No not you Robert. Walter White.

A man approached Randy.

Walter: Yes I'm Walter White and you are Randy Marsh.

Walter shakes Randy's hand.

Randy: How do you know me?

Walter: Well your wife told me about you. I knew it was you because you smell of weed.

Randy: I do? That isn't important right now. I wanna talk with you Mr White.

Walter: Uh sure.

Walter notices Towelie.

Walter: Ok a walking towel.

Towelie: You're a towel.

Randy, Towelie and Walt walk out into the garden where they notice the RV.

Randy: I wanna talk about your business.

Walter: My meth business?

Randy: Yes.

Towelie: How did he manage to fit the RV into the backyard?

Randy: Listen Walt you may seem like a good guy but-

Suddenly there was a boom and it came from the RV.

The door to the RV opened as smoke escaped and also a young man in his mid-twenties.

Man: Yo Mr White. I made some more of that good stuff.

Walter: Well done Jessie.

Jessie: Thanks Mr White. I think I'm a little high right now because I can see a walking towel.

Towelie: You're a towel.

Jessie: No you're a towel.

Towelie: No you're a towel.

Jessie: No you're a towel.

Towelie: No I'm a towel. Dammit.

Walter: Sorry, Randy and Towelie this is my cooking partner Jessie.

Jessie: Yo, bitch.

Randy: Yo bitch to you too.

Walter: Now you wanted to talk about my business?

Randy: Yes. Stay away from my weed business.

Walter: What?

Randy: You heard me. Because of your little Bright Sky.

Walter: Blue Sky.

Randy: I know what I said. It's putting a lot of interference with my business.

Walter: I don't know what you think about me Mr Marsh but I'm here to make a living not for competition.

Randy: Well it is competition you meth head. I want you and your stoner partner to leave South Park forever and go bother someone else's weed business.

Walter: I told you I don't want competition.

Randy: Well now you've got competition Walt. So stay away from interfering with my business or I'll come at your door knocking.

Walter: If this will lead into violence than I'll be the one who knocks.

Randy: I'll knock first Mr White, not you.

Walter: I don't want this to now be a competition on who's gonna knock first.

Randy: Because I'll obviously be the one who knocks. Come on Towelie.

Towelie: Coming.

They start walking out of the house.

Jessie: This doesn't look good Mr White.

Walter: Well I'm well aware of Mr Marsh's antics. He should be prepared Jessie. He should be well prepared.


	2. Da Bomb

We open on lovely night in South Park at Skeeter's Wine Bar.

Walter and Jesse have entered the bar after another day of successfully selling meth.

Jessie and Walt clink their glasses.

Jessie: Another day, a lot of customers.

Walter: Listen Jessie, what do you think of this town so far?

Jessie: Well it isn't Albuquerque, but I admit so far this town is dope. So what about you and Mr Marsh?

Walter: That was only yesterday Jessie. Marsh is a bit of a whiny baby I admit that, but I don't think he's a bad person I just think he's a little too competitive. I mean it's not like he's gonna blow anyone up.

There was a long pause as Walt and Jessie continued to drink their drinks.

Walter: Jessie, was I the only one who expected that something bad will happen after I said-

Suddenly there was an explosion.

Walter looked outside to see smoke was coming from his house.

* * *

Intro

Starring

Randy Marsh

Bryan Cranston

Towelie

Aaron Paul

Sharon Marsh

Stan Marsh

Shelly Marsh

Title card shows up.

Breaking Tegridy.

* * *

Earlier.

Tegridy Farms.

Randy was having a family meeting.

Randy: Gang, things aren't looking good for the business. We're down 43% because of this son of a bitch.

Randy shows a picture of Walter White but with devil horns obviously drawn on by Randy.

Randy: He's the reason why our business is falling apart. Any ideas?

Sharon: Randy, I think you need time to know Mr White.

Randy: Oh I know Mr White. He's a fucking business killer.

Stan: No he's a nice man Dad.

Randy: Well he threatened me!

Sharon: Because you threatened him first Randy!

Randy: No! God!

Sharon: Listen Randy I have taken orders from you ever since we moved, but right now it's about time you listen to me. Now we are going to Mr White's house later today because he's invited us over for dinner and if you dare try and start conflict between him than it is over do you understand me?

Randy sighed.

Randy: Yes ma'm.

Later.

Old Marsh residence.

Sharon knocked on the door and Walt answered.

Walter: Sharon, so glad you can make it.

Sharon: As am I Walt.

Walter: Don't just stand there, come in.

Walt motions them to come in and they do.

Randy just stands on the front looking annoyed.

Walter: Well aren't you coming in Randy?

Sharon places her hands on her hips.

Sharon: Randy.

Randy sighed.

Randy: Fine!

Randy walked in.

Later.

They were having dinner.

Sharon: So Walt, do you have any family?

Walter: I did. But me and my wife divorced.

Sharon: Oh. Didn't she support your meth business?

Walter: You can say that.

Randy: Maybe she thought meth sucked and wanted you to start a weed business.

Sharon: Randy! I apologise for my husbands beha-

Walter: It's alright. I get that behaviour with Jesse.

Jesse: Yo Mr White, should we make T-shirts promoting our business?

Walter: Not now Jesse.

Jesse: But I got an idea on what it should say. 100% Meth, Blue Sky, bitch.

Randy: Hey that was my idea for a T-shirt including having the word "bitch" at the end. But it was to do with weed you stupid stoner!

Jesse: Bitch.

Walter: Jesse! Be nice!

Randy: I still want to make that shirt.

Stan: And it is a shirt I won't be wearing.

Shelly: Same here.

Randy: You two will be wearing those shirts.

Walter: Randy, I think the children should choose what they should wear, not you. I'm not gonna lie, those shirts are pretty you.

Randy: What does that mean?

Stan: He means idiotic.

Sharon: Um...Do you have any kids Walt?

Walter: Two. One should be celebrating her first birthday in three days.

Sharon: Aww.

Walter: I also have a son who-

Randy: Doesn't support my business. That's what you are Stan, you don't support my business.

Stan: Because you forced me and Shelly to wear an awful shirt.

Randy: For business.

Shelly: And humiliation.

Sharon: You three!

Jesse: Yo Mr White, there's a towel throwing pizza at the house.

Walter: What?

Walter looks outside of the house to see Towelie throwing pizzas at the house.

Towelie: Business killer! Tegridy murderer!

Sharon: Towelie!

Jessie: Leave us now! Bitch!

Towelie: No you're a bitch!

Jesse: You're a bitch!

Towelie: You're a bitch!

Stan: You're a useless Dad!

Randy: I wish Finn Wolfhard was my son. He's fucking funny.

Shelly: I've always had thoughts about killing you Dad!

Walter: Everyone out! Out!

Sharon: Walt, listen to us-

Walter: I don't care! Everyone out!

The Marshes get out of the house.

Walter: What the hell is wrong with you Randy?! I just wanted us to be friends or acquaintances! Not rivals! I respect your business, but I don't respect you! You're idiotic, you treat people who don't appreciate your business like shit and you don't respect your family! How about you go fuck that towel?! No, even better, how about you and your towel engage in a threesome with your plants?!

Sharon: Mr White we-

Walter: Shut up! Stay well away from my house! All of you!

Walt slams the door.

Sharon glares at Randy.

Suddenly the doors open again and Jesse gets thrown out.

Jesse: What did I do?! Bitch!

Later.

Tegridy Farms.

Sharon: I hope you're happy you four. I just wanted to make friends, but you had to go on saying he's destroying your business, you two had to back talk your father and you had to keep throwing pizza at Mr White's house. Who throws pizza at houses? Honestly! Stan, Shelly go to your rooms. And Randy, you're sleeping on the couch tonight.

Randy: Sleeping on the couch? Aww that's every husbands worst nightmare. It's tight it's-

Sharon: I don't care Randy.

Later.

Randy is trying to sleep on the couch.

Randy: Dammit. I hate you so much Mr White.

Randy gets off the couch and walks to Towelie who was sleeping right beside the wall.

Randy: Hey Towelie.

Towelie wakes up.

Randy: Towelie.

Towelie: What?

Randy: We're gonna end Walter White's business, once and for all.

Towelie: Wow, this is one helluva good dream so far.

Randy: No this is real.

Towelie: Are you sure you aren't dreaming?

Randy: No.

Towelie's head suddenly turns into a horse.

Towelie: Are you sure?

Randy: No.

Randy wakes up.

Randy: What a bizarre dream. Wait a minute. That dream's given me an idea.

Later.

Old Marsh residence.

Randy and Towelie break into the backyard and walk up to the RV.

They place an explosive on it and ran.

On the top of a mountain the two of them stare at the RV.

Randy pulls the trigger out of his pocket and pushes the button.

But the button isn't working.

Randy pushes it a few more times before he starts fiddling it and smacking it until the RV blew up.

Randy and Towelie ran.

The next day.

Randy and his family were having breakfast.

Stan: Did anyone hear about what happened to Mr White's RV?

Sharon: Yeah. I feel sorry for him.

Shelly: I heard that the RV was Jesse's home.

Randy: I wonder who would've done it.

Sharon glares at Randy.

Sharon: Yeah, I wonder.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door.

Stan went to answer it and stood Officer Yates.

Officer Yates: Hi little boy. Is your Dad home?

Stan: Yeah he's-

Officer Yates: Move in boys!

Stan: What?

Cops burst into the house.

They grab Randy.

Randy: Hey! Hey! Hey!

The cops search the house until they find Towelie and handcuff him.

Towelie: W-w-what's going on? I honestly don't know I'm too high.

Randy: What are you doing?!

Yates: Randy Marsh and Towelie, we have a warrant for your arrest.

Randy: Why?

Yates: You're under arrest for blowing up an RV belonging to a J. Pinkman.

Randy tried to act confused.

Randy: What? That's ridiculous.

Towelie: Oh they're here for the whole RV thing. Yeah that was totally us.

Randy glares at Towelie.

Randy: You stupid towel.


	3. Better Call Gerald

Walt and Jesse are staring at the remains of the RV.

**(A/N: This cold open is set during the events of the last story).**

Jesse: That was my home.

Jesse screams and throws a piece of rubble at the fire.

Jesse: I'm gonna kill that bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch!

Walter: Jesse calm down.

Walt grabs a hold of Jesse and hugs him.

Walter: I'm sorry Jesse.

Walter lets go of Jessie.

Walter: Come on Jesse. Let's see who blew up your RV.

They go upstairs into Shelley's old room which is now filled with camera monitors.

Walter types in on a few keyboards and footage of Randy Marsh and Towelie show up on the screen.

Walter: Well, what do we have here?

* * *

Intro

Starring

Randy Marsh

Bryan Cranston

Towelie

Aaron Paul

Sharon Marsh

Gerald Broflovski

Stan Marsh

Shelly Marsh

Title card shows up.

Breaking Tegridy.

* * *

Randy and Towelie are in an interrogation room waiting.

Randy: They don't have the right to arrest us, we bring Tegridy to everyone in South Park.

Towelie: We were arrested?! Aww, not again.

A cop opens the door and Yates and his partner Mitch enter.

Yates: We want to ask you a few questions.

Randy: Shoot.

Towelie: Which one is the good cop and which one is the bad cop?

Mitch: With both of us, we're the bad cops.

Towelie: Oh.

Yates: Why did you blow up the RV?

Randy: To save my business.

Yates: From what? A rival? You started this rivalry according to our sources.

Randy: Walter started it by coming here.

Yates: You were just jelly of Mr White's success that you wanted to stop it.

Randy: That's not true. I blew up the RV because that's where they cook the meth and without anywhere to make the meth they'll be no way Tegridy Farms will go out of business.

Yates: I'm afraid it will Marsh. If you and the towel are found guilty. Than the farm will be shut down.

Randy and Towelie sat in shock.

Towelie: You're a towel.

Tegridy Farms.

Sharon was watching TV with Stan and Shelly.

Shelly: Do you think Dad will be locked up for good this time?

Sharon: I don't know Shelly. Maybe he'll find a way to free himself thanks to our stupid President. Why the living fuck did I vote for him?

Stan: He's not gonna be locked up. Face it. We're just gonna live here.

Sharon: Stanley.

Stan: No Mom. Maybe all this wouldn't have happened if you didn't agree with him. Did you even agree to moving to this shithole?

Sharon: Stanley!

Shelly: For once the turd's right. You agreed with Dad and now we might be stuck here until me and Stan graduate.

Stan: Face it Mom, it wasn't just Dad's fault. It was yours.

Stan and Shelly went upstairs.

Sharon just slumped as she realised it wasn't just Randy's fault, but hers as well.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door.

Sharon answered it and Walt was standing on the front porch.

Walter: Hi.

Sharon: Walt, what brings you here?

Walter: Do you mind if I come in?

Sharon: Sure.

Walter enters the house.

Walter: This trial tomorrow Sharon, I don't know how it will go. And if Jesse wins, I hope we can still be friends about the whole situation. Since the farm is shutting down and your house will be evicted.

Sharon: I don't know Walt, I feel like the trial's gonna go in Randy's favour.

Walter: I actually came here to offer something to you.

Sharon: What?

Walter: If Jesse wins and you and the kids get evicted, I'll try and help you to give you a home.

Sharon: Really Walt? I don't know. I don't know how much money you have now that your lab's been blown up.

Walter: Who said the RV was my only lab? Listen, if I told you how much money I make every week selling my product you won't believe me. But I promise if Jesse wins, I promise I will do my best to help you find a home.

Sharon: Thank you Walt.

Sharon hugs Walt.

Walt: But What Randy doesn't know, I have a secret weapon.

Later.

Randy and Towelie are both in a cell awaiting trial.

Randy was sitting on the bed looking depressed whilst Towelie was drinking from the toilet.

Randy: What are you doing Towelie?

Towelie: I need to get high off of something or otherwise there's no purpose in my life.

Guard: Excuse me you two, both of you have a visitor. It's your lawyer. And you stop drinking from the toilet you dumb towel.

Towelie: You're a towel.

The lawyer enters the cell and it was Gerald.

Gerald: You had to do it Randy?

Randy: Gerald?

Gerald: I'm only doing this as your lawyer not your friend. You two are my clients not my friends, got it?

Randy: Ok.

Gerald: Now to make you win the trial we're gonna have to find a way to make the jury feel sympathy for you, so that way they might be able to let you off. Now I may not be Johnnie Cochran, but he somehow made the jury make O.J not guilty. To make this work, you're gonna need to try and work on your sympathy voice. Give it a try.

Randy: I blew up the RV be-

Gerald: Not feeling sympathy, make it a bit softer.

Randy: I did it because-

Gerald throws a gummy bear at Randy.

Gerald: Nope.

Randy: I did it be-

Gerald throws another gummy bear at Randy.

Gerald: Take 3.

French Narrator: 5003 takes later.

Randy and Gerald were looking tired whilst Towelie was sleeping.

Gerald: Ok. Try again.

Randy: I only did it because I wanted to save my business. I was so angry that I lost control of myself. It hap-

Gerald: Stop.

Randy stopped.

Gerald: That is perfect.

Randy: Oh good. How long until the trial?

Gerald looked at his watch.

Gerald: Oh shit! It's today. I gotta go, I'll see you there.

Gerald left the cell.

Towelie woke up.

Towelie: What happened? How long was I out?

Randy: Towelie the trial is today.

Towelie: Ok. Hold on I need some breakfast.

Towelie takes another handful of toilet water and drinks it.

Later at the courthouse.

Midget in A Bikini: The trial of the century has begun. A lot of protesters are outside protesting to lock Randy Marsh. Whilst Randy's supporters are much lower than the others.

Randy's supporters were the Whites (Jason's family).

Mr White: Free Randy Marsh! We need our weed!

Inside the courthouse.

Randy was sitting at the front of the courtroom with Towelie and Gerald.

And on the right of Randy was Jesse sitting on his own.

Randy: Hey Jesse, where's your lawyer?

Jesse: He's a little late because he sometimes likes to make an entrance. So give him some time, yo.

The doors open and a man enters the courthouse.

Man: Sorry I'm late. Got caught in traffic.

Gerald was looking worried.

Gerald: No. No. No.

Randy: What?

The man enters the front part and sits beside Jesse.

Gerald: That's Jimmy McGill.

Towelie: Who?

Gerald: We went to law school together. Every trial we were a part of, he kept winning.

Jimmy walks up to Gerald.

Jimmy: Jimmy is dead Gerald, I go by Saul Goodman now.

Gerald: Saul Goodman?

Saul: Yes. Hey Broflovski, good luck.

Judge: All rise. Ladies and gentlemen we are here today to determine the verdict for Randy Marsh and Towelie who have been accused of blowing up,private property.

The camera pans to the jury and they were Stephen Stotch, Mr Kim, Shiela Broflovski, PC Principal, Strong Woman, Tom Pusslicker, Liane Cartman, Ryan Valmer, Mr and Mrs Tweek, Badger and Skinny Pete.

Badger: I can't believe it, we moved to a new town and we get jury duty. This is bullshit.

Skinny Pete: Hey you'll be alright, just think of yourself as Henry Fonda in 12 Angry Men but only you think the supposed suspect is guilty.

Badger: Right, I'll just think of Henry Fonda. Who's Henry Fonda?

Randy stands on the podium.

Randy: I know what I did may seem bad, but-

Randy looked at Gerald and Gerald gave him an encouraging thumbs up.

Randy: I did it because business was failing and I got so angry that-

Saul: Objection your honor.

Judge: Is there a reason for this Mr Goodman?

Saul: Mr Marsh are you aware that terrorism is illegal?

Randy: Yes.

Saul: Exactly. And you did it because business was failing?

Randy: Yes.

Saul: You're trying to make it sound like your actions have justifiable motivations. Mr Marsh can you name a time when the actions of a terrorist seemed justifiable?

Randy: No.

Saul: And do you think that acting like your actions have justifiable motivations is good enough to make the jury feel sorry for you?

Judge: You don't need to answer that if you want.

Saul: No he will. Mr Marsh do you think-

Randy: Yes! Alright!

Saul: My friends of the jury, the actions of a terrorist cannot be given a justifiable motivation it is impossible. So do me a favour jury, don't be the jury from the O.J. Simpson trial be the jury from 12 Angry Men. Thank you your honor, no more questions.

Saul goes to sit back down.

Jesse: Not bad bitch.

Saul: Well you know me.

3 hours into the trial.

The jury reentered the courtroom and took their seats.

Judge: After hours of discussing have we come to a decision?

PC Principal: We find the defendant...

Saul was smiling whilst Randy, Towelie and Gerald were looking nervous.

PC Principal: Not guilty.

Saul: What?!

Randy: Yeah!

Randy jumped on the table and started playing the air guitar.

Gerald: I won. I finally beaten Saul Goodman. Hey Jimmy! Fuck you!

Saul: Yeah. Fuck me too.

Jesse: No! No thats not fair! I'll kill you!

Jesse tries to attack Randy, but the guards got a hold of him.

Later.

Randy and Towelie leave the courthouse.

Midget In A Bikini: Mr Marsh how does it feel to be free of all charges?

Randy: Well if it weren't for my great lawyer and my supporters, the real Mr White, than I wouldn't be here breathing that fresh air.

Randy and Towelie walk down the stairs feeling proud.

Towelie: Randy, I may not be smart, but I don't think we should've won.

Randy: What are you talking about?

Towelie: We did horribly in there.

Randy: But we won Towelie, don't you get it?

Towelie: It's just something doesn't feel right.

Suddenly the two were approached by two Mexican males.

Man 1: Randy Marsh.

Randy Marsh: Yes?

Man 1: Come with us

Randy: You aren't gonna kill us aren't you?

Man 2: No.

The two than started to speak Mexican towards each other.

Randy: What were you discussing.

Man 2: We were discussing if we should've looked as intimidating as we do.

Man 1: Listen, our boss wants a word with you and he's a very inpatient man.

Randy: Ok. I'll come.

Man 2: The towel comes with you too.

Towelie: You're a towel.

Man 2: No. You're a towel

Later.

They make it to a rundown building.

They enter the building and it is surrounded by bodyguards.

They make it to the main office where they notice a man in a wheelchair watching TV.

They approach the man who was in a spinning chair and the chair had his back turned against Randy.

Next to the chair on both sides were two intimidating looking twins.

Voice: Is he here?

Man 1: Yes.

Voice: Thank you Emilio. Have a seat Marsh.

Randy and Towelie sit down.

Voice: I'm pretty sure you've seen my uncle Hector. He's the man in the wheelchair watching TV. He has a stroke if one of you asks. And on the left and right of me are my cousins/hitmen. Leonel and Marco.

The chair spins around to reveal another Mexican male.

Man: My name is Tuco Salamanca. And I think I have an offer you can't refuse.

Towelie: So far these seem like nice people.


	4. Co-Op

**(A/N: This cold open is set before Randy's trial reached the verdict).**

We open in the jury room where the jury from the last episode (Stephen Stotch, Mr Kim, Shiela Broflovski, PC Principal, Strong Woman, Tom Pusslicker, Liane Cartman, Ryan Valmer, Mr and Mrs Tweek, Badger and Skinny Pete) have taken their seats.

PC Principal: Alright everybody listen up, as a lot of you may know the judge has assigned me with the role of jury foreman and I wish for us to make our votes unanimous. Got it?

Everyone: We're clear.

Skinny Pete: Now remember what Mr White said Badger, guilty no matter what the others think.

Badger: Yeah I remember Skinny Pete.

PC Principal suddenly grabbed Badger.

Badger: Hey man what did I do?

PC Principal: Did you just body shame Pete?

Badger: Pete, did I?

PC Principal: You just referred to him as skinny! Do you realise how that makes him feel?

Skinny Pete: Hey yo. I'm cool with it.

PC Principal: Well I'm not!

Skinny Pete: Please let him go Mr?...

PC Principal: PC Principal.

Skinny Pete: Look, you don't need to make him apologise. Like I said I'm cool with it.

PC Principal: I cannot ignore that he-

Stephen: Can we go back to discussing the verdict?

PC Principal: Yes of course.

Suddenly two men entered the room.

They looked Mexican and also looked intimidating.

They were Leonel and Marco Salamanca.

PC Principal: Can we help you?

Another man entered and it was Tuco Salamanca.

Tuco: Yes. You can help me.

Richard Tweek: With what?

Tuco than says something to his cousins in Spanish.

PC Principal: I speak your native language and you said lock the door.

The cousins lock the door.

Badger: Oh shit.

Tuco: Now, who's the jury foreman?

PC Principal: I am.

Tuco: Look at me, look at me. I'm the jury foreman now.

PC Principal: On who's authority?

Tuco: Mine.

Tuco was about to grab his gun but he hesitates.

Tuco: Now, listen up members of this supposed jury. I'm gonna pull my gun out of my pocket and if either one of you panic than one of my cousins, either Leonel or Marco will kill one of you silently.

Tuco aims his gun at PC Principal.

Tuco: On my authority you will vote Randy Marsh not guilty.

Strong Woman: Why should we be afraid of you?

Tuco: Shut your mouth you bitch.

PC Principal: Did you just use a term that is offensive to women?

Tuco: What are you gonna do about it pussy?

PC Principal starts to walk up to Tuco.

Leonel points his gun at PC Principal.

Tuco: Leonel, no. Let me deal with him.

PC Principal takes off his Oakley's

PC Principal was about to grab Tuco, but Tuco kicks PC Principal in the leg and than punches him in his eye.

The jury was sitting in fear.

Tuco: How do you like them apples?

Tuco notices Badger and Skinny Pete.

Tuco: Hey, don't I know you two from somewhere?

Skinny Pete: No.

Badger: I was an extra in Brightburn.

Tuco: Hmm, yeah I think you were.

Tuco than kicks PC Principal's leg again.

Tuco: Now Mr Principal. Here's how our little agreement's gonna work.

* * *

Intro

Starring

Randy Marsh

Bryan Cranston

Towelie

Aaron Paul

Sharon Marsh

Gerald Broflovski

Bob Odenkirk

Stan Marsh

Shelly Marsh

Title card shows up.

Breaking Tegridy.

* * *

Later.

Tuco's lair.

Randy: So you helped me and Towelie out?

Tuco: Yeah that's right fool.

Randy: I don't know what to say.

Tuco: You say thank you. That's what.

Towelie: Well thank you.

Randy: Now about that offer.

Tuco: Right. I want to help you gain more customers for your shit.

Randy: Hey my weed isn't shit.

Tuco: It's a metaphor. I meant your weed. I can help you. You make more weed and some of that Christmas snow than I can sell your shit to the highest buyers.

Randy: You like my weed?

Tuco: Like it? Best dope I ever smoked. Although I haven't had your marijuana free Christmas snow. Do you have any I could take a sample of?

Randy: Of course. I had it in my pocket during the trial.

Towelie: How did you manage to sneak that in?

Randy gives Tuco the coke and Tuco takes a sniff at it.

Tuco: Ggggg! Tight! Tight! Tight! Tight! I don't care how you made this shit give me more of this stuff.

Randy: Me and Towelie will be on it.

Tuco: Good. Leonel, Marco please escort our new members of the Salamanca family.

Leonel and Marco escort Randy and Towelie out of the building.

The bar.

Saul was sitting on a barstool and drinking after losing the trial.

Saul: I can't believe I lost, I never lose.

Bartender: Well we all lose at some point in our lives.

Saul takes another shot of whisky.

Gerald enters the bar.

Gerald: Hi, give me a strong one.

The bartender gives Gerald his drink.

Bartender: You look like you're in a good mood.

Gerald: Yeah. I just won a case. Hey everybody drinks are on me.

Everyone in the bar cheers.

Saul: Oh go fuck yourself Gerald.

Gerald: Saul? What are you-

All of a sudden, Saul punches Gerald in the face.

Saul: I said go fuck yourself. You horse fucker.

Saul leaves the bar, but before he left the bar he payed the bartender.

Gerald follows Saul.

Gerald: Jimmy. Jimmy. Jimmy.

Saul: I told you, it's Saul now.

Gerald: Listen, about the trial.

Saul: Yeah. Go continue rubbing it in my face.

Gerald: Ok, in my defence I had no idea you were in there.

Saul: Well now you do. This case meant a lot to me. I could've locked up a monster, but even when I stopped your little "Make the monster seem sympathetic plan" the case was lost. I hope you're happy Gerald, there's a monster roaming this peaceful town.

Gerald: Saul wait, I wanna make things up to you. Listen, I've been meaning to start my own independent law firm and I was wondering if you would like to join me?

Saul stood thinking for a moment.

Saul: Yeah. I'm not gonna lie, it is a good offer that I can't refuse. Yeah, let's start our own law firm.

Gerald smiled.

Saul: Hey, first round's on me.

Gerald: No first round's on me.

Saul: No, they're on me.

Gerald: No they're on me.

Tegridy Farms.

Sharon, Stan and Shelly were on the couch watching TV, when Randy entered along with Towelie, Leonel, Marco and Tuco.

Randy: Alright gang, business meeting.

Later.

Randy: Everyone this is Tuco Salamanca. He's gonna help us gain more customers.

Stan: Who are the big tall scary guys?

Randy: Oh that's Leonel and Marco, Tuco's cousins.

Sharon: I don't know Randy, he seems kind of suspicious.

Tuco: Hey, I used to sell ice cream for a living so how am I suspicious?

Sharon: I just don't like the way your cousins are staring at all of us it's making me-

Tuco: Uncomfortable? My apologies. Leonel, Marco go wait for me in the room.

Leonel and Marco go in the room and sit on the couch.

Randy: Tuco's gonna make sure we beat Walter White and his stupid stoner partner-

Tuco: Whoah! Whoah! Whoah! Walter White?

Randy: Yeah?

Tuco: He used to work with me. Until he betrayed me and started to work for Gus Fring.

Shelly: The owner of Los Pollos Hermanos?

Tuco: Yeah that one.

Stan: I don't know what you have against Walter White, Mr Salamanca, he's a nice guy.

Tuco: You think you know Mr White? Huh? You little shit!

Sharon: Tuco!

Tuco: What?

Sharon: You can't call my son a little shit.

Tuco angrily stares at Sharon.

Tuco: My apologies.

Tuco than crushed a glass cup that was in his hand.

Randy: Do you want a band aid for that?

Tuco: No thanks.

Tuco than notices a piece of glass was in his hand.

Tuco: Trust me it's not that painful.

As Tuco was pulling the piece of glass out of his hand, he was screaming.

Tuco: See?

The old Marsh residence.

Jesse was sitting on the couch looking upset,

Walt approached him.

Walter: Jesse. Listen I don't know what to tell you about how the whole trial went. Listen, I'm willing to give you the spare bedroom.

Jesse: Thanks, I guess.

Walter: We'll get that bastard some day, don't worry.

Suddenly a ball broke through the window, which startled Walt.

There was a knock on the door.

Walt answered it and there stood Stan.

Stan: Mr White, I am so sorry.

Stan grabbed the ball.

Walter: Hey, it's ok. It's not a problem. How's your Dad's business?

Stan: He's trying his best to beat you. He's getting help from some guy named Tuco.

Walter: Tuco?

Stan: Yeah. Tuco Salamander or something along those lines.

Walt stands in shock and fear.

Stan: Mr White? Mr White? Are you ok?

Jesse: Oh, that's his blank face stare. That means he's scared of something.

Later.

Tegridy Farms.

Randy and Towelie were making some more weed and coke.

Randy: How much do we have?

Towelie: Enough for the public and enough for Tuco's buyers.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door.

Randy answered it.

Randy: Oh Mr White.

The person standing on the porch was Mr White (Jason's father).

Mr White: Hi Randy. Do you have any more of that Da Bomb I really like?

Randy: Yes we do.

Walter: Da Bomb is what Tuco's gonna use to kill ya.

Walt was standing behind Mr White.

Randy: What do you want Walt?

Mr White: Do you wanna brag on how great your business is doing? Or how your the only White everyone cares about in this town? Nobody cares about me because I support the President. And also helped Randy Marsh from going to prison.

Walter: Do people in this town always have this strange urge to punch him in the face?

Randy and Towelie were about to punch Mr White, but stopped when Mr White noticed him.

Randy: Not all the time.

Walter: I came here to warn you about Tuco. You can't trust him, he's dangerous, he's psychotic and he'll threaten your family. It happened to me, although I would like to see you get beaten to death by Tuco I would like you to tread lightly when around him.

Walt exists the farm.

Randy, Towelie and Mr White stare on in fear.

Randy: Pfft. He's just jelly that I'm getting an awesome business man.

4 weeks later.

Randy and Tuco were sitting on the couch watching Towelie typing on the laptop.

Randy: How are we doing?

Towelie: It's not good news.

Tuco: What?! That's impossible!

Towelie: It's great news.

Tuco: Yeah! What is it?

Towelie: We're up 11% in sales.

Randy: We did? Yeah!

Randy jumps on the couch and starts playing air guitar.

Randy: Sharon, Kids! We did it! Yeah! In your face Walter White!

Towelie: We didn't beat Walter White though.

Randy: It doesn't matter, we're up in sales.

Randy continued to celebrate.

Tuco: Randy, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful partnership.

Tuco stared at Randy and his smile quickly turned into suspicion.


	5. Aligned

We open to Badger and Skinny Pete, who were on a street selling Blue Sky.

Badger sold a bag of Blue Sky to a customer.

Badger: Here you go, have a nice day.

Skinny Pete: Man, I really like this place. It's better than Albuquerque.

Badger: Hell yeah.

Badger was doing the Blue Sky.

Skinny Pete: Badger, that shit is for the people.

Badger: Sorry, I couldn't resist it.

Hours later.

Badger and Skinny Pete were packing up for today.

Badger: Hey, I'll be right back I'm gonna take a leek.

Skinny Pete: Alright.

Badger runs across the street to the bathroom.

Skinny Pete took a cigarette out of his pocket and lit it.

But behind him were two familiar hitmen.

Skinny Pete took out his phone and dialled the number.

Skinny Pete: Yo Jessie...yeah today was pretty successful...you know I think we should start selling the Blue here...we made 950 dollars today...yeah I know it's crazy (Leonel and Marco started to walk up to Skinny Pete) yeah, me and Badger will see you in a minute. I hope Slipknot rocked.

Skinny Pete hangs up the phone. Just as Leonel places a bag over his head and Marco grabs him.

Skinny Pete: Hey!

Skinny Pete tried to wiggle his way out of the hitmen, but they were too strong.

Badger notices them from across the street.

Badger: Hey!

Marco pulls his gun out and shoots Badger.

Skinny Pete: Did you shoot Badger?! You bastards!

Leonel and Marco started to drag Skinny Pete away.

Cartman walks to the crime scene.

Cartman laughed at the sight.

* * *

Intro

Starring

Randy Marsh

Bryan Cranston

Towelie

Aaron Paul

Sharon Marsh

Gerald Broflovski

Bob Odenkirk

Stan Marsh

Shelly Marsh

Title card shows up.

Breaking Tegridy.

* * *

Tegridy Farms.

Days before the cold open.

Stan was in the living room practicing his guitar.

Shelly did a backhand slap on his face.

Stan: Ow!

Shelly: I was board and I felt like it turd.

Randy: Gang, me and Towelie are going down to New Mexico with Tuco to make business.

Sharon: Not again. Randy, Stan's got a thing and he'd appreciate it if you show up.

Randy: What is it?

Sharon: It's another Crimson Dawn performance. He's opening for Slipknot tonight.

Randy: You mean that guy from Suicide Squad nobody remembers?

Shelly: No. Slipknot is one of the biggest heavy metal bands and Stan is opening for them.

Randy: Well Stan, you need to wear your Tegridy T-shirt.

Stan: That's the thing though Dad. Despite the band loving your business, they really appreciate it if I wear a black shirt with images a 7 year old kid will find disturbing for the event.

Randy: And what do Slipknot know about fashion?

Towelie: I don't know Randy, their fashion sense is kind of cool.

Randy: You're supporting my son's choice?

Towelie: No I'm just saying.

Stan: No matter what you think about it Dad, I'm not wearing it.

Randy: Stan.

Shelly: I'll make him wear it Dad.

Shelly grabs the shirt.

Randy: Atta girl.

Shelly grabs a lighter and sets the shirt on fire.

Shelly throws it outside.

Randy: Grin all you want, but I've got a lot.

Towelie: Randy, this ain't worth it. Let's go.

Randy: Fine.

Randy throws a Tegridy t-shirt at Stan.

Randy and Towelie leave the house.

Sharon: You don't have to wear it.

Stan: I'm never wearing it.

Meanwhile.

_A woman was sitting on a chair crying._

_Gerald: Going through an ugly divorce?_

_The ad than cuts to a man in prison._

_Saul: Accused of a crime you didn't cause._

_The ad than cuts to a guy with a bone sticking out of his leg screaming._

_Gerald: Or had an accident-_

_Saul: That wasn't your fault?_

_Saul and Gerald popped up in front of the guy._

_Gerald: Than call one of us. Hi, I'm Gerald Broflovski._

_Saul: And I'm Saul Goodman. We're lawyers who think you have rights._

_Gerald: Yes. Call one of us and one of us might be able to handle your case._

_Saul: We fight for you South Park._

_Guy: Hey, can you call an ambulance?_

_Saul: Shut up we're shooting a commercial._

Commercial ends.

Broflovski residence.

Saul and Gerald were watching the commercial at his house.

Saul: That was amazing.

Gerald: I know. I also loved how convincing that guy with the bone sticking out of his leg was and he stayed in character after finishing this scene. That was an actor right?

Saul gave Gerald a reassuring look.

Saul: Yeah it was.

Meanwhile.

Randy and Towelie made it to Tuco's hub.

Tuco greeted them.

Tuco: You made it.

Randy: Of course I did, business comes first.

Tuco: Come, our ride's this way.

Tuco escorts Randy and Towelie to the back and right in front of them was a chopper.

Randy: You got a chopper?

Tuco: Yeah bitch.

Tuco jumps into the chopper.

Tuco: Come on guys. (Does impression of Arnold Schwarzenegger) Get to da chopper!

Tuco laughed.

Randy and Towelie enter the chopper.

Tuco: You got the weed?

Randy shows Tuco a case.

Tuco: Yes it's a nice case. Do you have the weed?

Randy: Yes.

Towelie: Are you a little slow?

Tuco grabs Towelie.

Tuco: I could throw you into the propellers when I want. Got that you stupid towel?

Towelie: You're a towel.

Tuco laughed and lets go of Towelie.

Tuco acknowledged his cousins who were outside the chopper.

Tuco (Speaking Spanish): I don't need you two with me. I need you two to take care of Uncle Hector.

Leonel (Speaking Spanish): No problem.

Leonel and Marco pull their guns out of their pockets.

Tuco (Speaking Spanish): Not like that. Have a sense of not taking everything so literally.

The chopper takes off.

Old Marsh residence.

Walter and Jesse were in their meth lab finishing the Blue Sky.

Jesse took off his gas mask.

Jesse: Good thing he didn't find out we had a second.

Walter wasn't acknowledging Jesse.

Jesse: Yo Mr White.

Walt took off his gas mask.

Walter: Sorry, my mind wandered.

Jesse: Yeah, I noticed.

Suddenly there was a knock.

Walter: Enter.

Badger and Skinny Pete enter.

Badger: Yo Mr White, is it ready?

Walter: Yeah.

Later.

Walt was handing a bunch of bags of Blue Skies to Badger and Skinny Pete.

Walter: Have you found a place where you can sell the meth?

Badger: Yeah, some old rundown building.

Skinny Pete: It was my idea.

Walter: I don't know why you're intending to sell the product in that area. But who am I to judge?

Badger: See you later.

Jesse: Call one of us to tell us how business went. Got it?

Skinny Pete: Yo, don't sweat.

Meanwhile.

Tuco, Randy and Towelie exit the helicopter as it landed and the group entered a big mansion.

Randy: Who's living in this place? Scarface?

Tuco: He was an extra in that movie.

They continue walking.

Guard: Hold on, we got to search you.

The guards start to search Randy and they pulled a piece of paper and pen out of his pocket.

Randy: That's so I can keep notes.

The guards search Tuco and they pulled a gun out of Tuco's pocket.

Guard: Sorry we got to confiscate this.

The guard takes the gun away from Tuco.

Tuco: I'll get it back once business is done.

Guard: Follow me.

Randy: Aren't you gonna search Towelie?

The guard stares at Towelie.

Towelie: I just have some Crack in my pocket.

Guard: That's fine.

The guard escorts them into an office.

They see a guy sitting on a big chair.

Tuco: Gentleman, this is Don Eladio Vuente.

Don: What business do you have to offer me Tuco?

Tuco: Marsh.

Randy shows Eladio the weed.

Randy: This here isn't just any regular weed but Tegridy weed. It will give you satisfaction, it will relax you. Because that's what Tegridy is all about.

Towelie: Not bad.

Tuco: Now comes the result.

Don: Let me try a bit.

The Don rolls a bud and lights it.

Don takes a puff.

Don: Mmm. This shit is good.

Randy: And there's more in this case that'll last you up to weeks.

Don: That is excellent.

Tuco: How much are you willing to pay?

Don: Eight grand.

Tuco: Na that won't work.

Don: Nine grand.

Tuco gives him a hand gesture.

Don: Eleven grand.

Tuco: I want 15 grand.

Don: Twelve.

Tuco: Fourteen.

Don: Thirteen.

Tuco: Deal.

Tuco and the Don shake hands.

Don: And people say you were a hard person to negotiate with.

Tuco: You haven't seen how I really handle negotiations old man.

Meanwhile.

Int. Denver stadium.

Sharon, Marvin, Jimbo and Shelly were in the audience waiting for the show to begin.

Sharon: You ok there Shelly?

Shelly: I'm still not talking to you.

Sharon sighed.

Walt and Jesse approached the two.

Walter: Are these two seats taken?

Sharon: Walt. I didn't know you were a Slipknot fan.

Walter: I'm actually here with Jesse. We're having a bit of a night out after what we are assuming will be another successful day. It was his pick. And again, the seats?

Sharon: They aren't taken, don't worry.

Walt and Jesse sat down.

Walter: Where's your son?

Sharon: Oh he's actually opening for Slipknot.

Jesse: Whoah. How the hell yo?

Sharon: Well Corey Taylor found his Insta post of him and his band performing and than "boom". Corey Taylor offered him a chance to open the show for him and his band.

Walter: Wow that's impressive.

Sharon: I know. Everyone's come out to support him.

In the front row.

Kyle and Wendy were both holding up a sign that said "Crimson Dawn!" In red paint.

Whilst the goths were all holding up a sign that said "Death and sorrow".

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, opening for Slipknot tonight is Crimson Dawn so let's give em a round.

Stan and his band (Jimmy, Butters and Kenny) took centre stage.

Jimmy started playing the drums and Kenny started to play his electric guitar.

Stan: _Fate is over, open your eyes. There is no hope, no second chance. All the elders saw, the fall of the sky._

Butters: _Get me off this farm!_

Stan:_ Pride and glory, to touch the sky we've burned the earth. Built our own infirmity. Chained our heart crucified our mind. I walk, in this burning desert without reason. There's nothing left, unless their lies._

As the song continued playing a quick montage of Randy and Tuco making deals is shown.

They make deals with Snoop Dogg, Seth Rogen, Mecha Streisand, Woody Harrelson and finally Colonel Sanders.

Back in Denver, Stan finished his song as there was silence.

Jesse: Yeah bitch!

Everyone cheered as Stan and his crew smiled.

After the show ends.

Jesse gets a phone call.

Jesse answers it.

Jesse: Hello?...Yo Pete, what's up? How was today?...Why?...Yo are you shitting me?...I gotta inform Mr White about this. I'll call you back...Yeah, it was dope. Later biatch.

Jessie hangs up.

Kyle, Wendy, Cartman, Clyde, Token, Shelly, Marvin and Jimbo all enter backstage just to see Stan.

Sharon was about to enter backstage, but was stopped by a guard.

Guard: Hold it.

Sharon: Why?

Guard: You can't come through here.

Sharon: I'm the boys mother.

Guard: Yeah, so am I.

The guard locks the door.

Walter: Hey Sharon, listen since you can't celebrate in there, how about you celebrate with me and Jesse? Drinks are on me.

Sharon: I don't know Walt.

Jesse: Aww come on. This calls for a celebration after what your son just did.

Sharon: Ok, maybe one.

Later on.

Sharon and Walter are taking shots.

Jesse: One, two, three, go!

Sharon and Walter drink their shots and place their shot glasses on the table.

Walter: I think I've had enough. I forfeit. You win Sharon.

Sharon: I haven't felt this great in years Walt, thanks for inviting me.

Walter: No problem. Why couldn't your husband make it?

Sharon: Business got in the way again.

Walter: As usual?

Sharon: Yeah.

Walter: He shouldn't let it get in his way all the time, that was one of the reasons for my divorce. Because of business, I missed the birth of my own daughter.

Sharon: Sometimes, I think of divorcing him.

Jesse: Sharon word of advice, just divorce him yo.

Walter: Jesse has a point Sharon.

Sharon: I don't know why I haven't gone through it already. We divorced two times already, first one lasted for a few days, second one, we didn't get to signing papers.

Walter: Marriage is a complicated part of anyone's life Sharon. Sometimes you are forced to support your husband's wrong doings and sometimes you just can't take it anymore and you just wanna go though with it.

Jesse: That should be on a t-shirt yo.

Sharon: I will never forget those words Walt.

Sharon and Walt stare at each other and start to lean in for a kiss, but it gets interrupted when Badger bursts into the bar bleeding from his shoulder.

Badger: They got Pete!

Jesse: Badger?

Badger collapses.

Jesse tries to wake up Badger.

Jesse: Badger! Badger! Call an ambulance! Somebody!

The bartender grabs a phone and starts dialling 911.

Walter and Sharon just stare at the shocking sight right in front of them.

Meanwhile.

Tuco's crib.

Tuco, Randy and Towelie enter the crib after a successful business.

Tuco and Randy were chowing down on some KFC.

Leonel approaches them.

Tuco awkwardly stares at him.

Tuco offers him some chicken.

Leonel (Speaking Spanish): We've found somebody selling an old friend.

Tuco, Randy and Towelie follow Leonel to a room where Marco was beating Pete to a pulp.

Tuco (Speaking Spanish): Marco, enough!

Tuco grabs Pete by the face.

Tuco: What were you doing around my area?

Pete: I was just selling yo. I had no idea this was one of your bases.

Tuco: Haven't I seen you somewhere before?

Skinny Pete: Uh, no.

Towelie: Hey, he was a member of the jury at mine and Randy's trial.

Tuco: What were you selling?

Skinny Pete: Just some meth until those guys took me into a room with some creepy old guy watching Family Guy.

Tuco punches Pete.

Tuco: You do not speak shit about my Uncle.

Tuco notices a bag of Blue Sky on the floor.

Tuco: So you're one of Walter White's bitches?

Randy: That's impossible, I destroyed his lab.

Skinny Pete: Well he's got spares.

Leonel and Marco point their guns at Pete.

Tuco (Speaking Spanish): No! Let me handle this bitch.

Tuco: Any last words?

Skinny Pete: Fuck you and your cartels.

Randy: Cartels?!

Towelie: Oh shit!

Tuco starts beat up Skinny Pete by repeatedly punching him.

Randy and Towelie watch on, squirming in fear.

Tuco finishes wailing on Pete.

Pete had a very bloodied and bruised face and he wasn't moving or breathing.

Randy just stared on realising he might've made a mistake.


	6. Business good, Cartels bad

We open to a bunch of cops investigating an area around Starks Pond.

Yates: Did you hear Slipknot were in South Park last night?

Mitch: You mean that lame guy from Suicide Squad?

Yates: No. That awesome metal band.

Mitch: You'll have to clue me in sir.

Yates: Oh my God. Hey guys, Mitch has never heard of Slipknot.

All the cops all say "What?" and discuss why Mitch might've not heard of Slipknot.

Yates: Alright. Slipknot is a heavy metal band-

Cop: Sir, we found something.

Yates: Not now, I'm clueing Mitch in about Slipknot.

Cop: You mean that lame guy from Suicide Squad everyone barley remembers?

Yates: No. Jesus, why are people asking that? Ok, Slipknot's members include the likes of-

As Yates continued to talk about Slipknot the camera pans down to what the cop was wanting Yates to see, it was the body of Skinny Pete.

* * *

Intro

Starring

Randy Marsh

Bryan Cranston

Towelie

Aaron Paul

Sharon Marsh

Gerald Broflovski

Bob Odenkirk

Stan Marsh

Shelly Marsh

Title card shows up.

Breaking Tegridy.

* * *

Tuco's Crib.

(A/N: This is set after Skinny Pete was beaten to death by Tuco and before the cops discover his body).

Randy and Towelie were still staring in shock after what Tuco did.

Tuco was doing heavy breathing after several uncomfortable seconds of beating Pete to death.

Tuco: Wooo! Did you see that shit?!

Towelie: Oh my God. These people are nice!

Leonel went to inspect the body.

Tuco: You see that shit Randy? That's what's gonna happen if Walter White comes anywhere near me.

Randy: Jesus Tuco.

Tuco: I know. I punched him like 30 times. What's the status?

Leonel just stares at Tuco.

Tuco: He dead?

Tuco hovered his ear over Pete's mouth.

Tuco: Definitely dead.

Tuco (Speaking Spanish): Leonel, Marco you know what to do.

Leonel and Marco start carrying the body.

Towelie: He might still be alive because they say the last thing you do before you die is crap your-

Suddenly Skinny Pete crapped his pants.

Towelie: Oh.

Meanwhile.

Hell's Pass Hospital.

Badger was recovering with Sharon, Jesse and Walt at his side.

Sharon: Will he be ok?

Doctor: He's making a full recovery. He'll be alright.

Jesse: Yo, you here that buddy?

Walter: Sharon, you didn't have to stay with us honestly.

Sharon: I couldn't just assume a victim of a shooting will be ok just like that.

Walter: Well I really appreciate it.

Sharon: So you know this guy?

Walter: He's a crew member of ours. He helps us sell the meth. And he's a very good friend of Jesse.

Jesse: I just hope Pete's ok.

Walter: He will be Jesse. He will be. Wait Sharon, weren't you Stan's ride home?

Sharon: Oh my God! Stan!

Sharon ran out of the room.

Meanwhile.

The next day.

Tegridy Farms.

Randy and Towelie entered the house looking nervous.

Stan: How did your important trip go?

Randy: I'm still not talking to you.

Stan: Aww come on. All this because of a stupid t-shirt?

Randy: That shirt is not stupid? They sell a lot of money on Amazon.

Stan: But haven't you seen the reviews? A lot of the users say it makes them look like shit.

Randy gasped.

Stan: And thanks for supporting me Dad! I wish you could here the demo for my song so you'll know how I feel. But I guess it'll be useless because you'll never care how I feel.

Stan threw a CD case to Randy and Randy caught it.

Stan went upstairs.

Shelly: We didn't wanna say anything because we were scared what you'll do to us. Well not anymore Dad. Fuck you!

Randy: No fuck you Shelly!

Shelly ran back to upstairs.

Shelly: I hate marijuana!

Towelie: She still has that marijuana problem?

Randy: By the looks of things, yeah. But what are we gonna do? We can't make deals with cartels?

Towelie: But Randy, the money.

Randy: This isn't about the money anymore. We are dealing with dangerous people.

Towelie: I don't know what to suggest.

Randy: I think we need advice. Who do we turn to?

They notice an ad and it was an ad for A Beautiful Day In The Neighbourhood.

Randy: Wait, Tom Hanks. No. Towelie change the channel.

Towelie changes the channel.

Than the ad for Better Call Broflovski and Goodman starts playing.

_Saul: Here at Broflovski and Goodman's we don't just offer you help for your problems._

_Gerald: We also offer advice no matter what the problem might be._

Towelie: No that might not help.

Towelie changes the channel.

Later.

Stan was in his room playing his guitar when Sharon entered.

Sharon: Hey. How did you and your sister get home?

Stan: The Testaburgers gave us a lift. Why didn't you wait for me?

Sharon: Why wasn't I allowed backstage?

Stan: Isn't it obvious? Did you forget it was your fault that you agreed with Dad to move out here?

Sharon sighed.

Sharon: Stanley you were great out there.

Stan: Do you think that compliment's gonna make me forgive you? And again, where were you?

Sharon: I went out drinking with Walt and Jesse.

Stan: Why?!

Sharon: Because Walt offered.

Stan: And you couldn't wait for your own son?!

Sharon: Something came up.

Stan: Of course. Just leave me alone Mom.

Sharon: Stanley.

Stan threw a plastic cup at the wall.

Stan: Leave me alone!

Sharon closed the door and sighs.

Sharon walks downstairs and sits on the couch.

Sharon than starts crying.

Back at Hell's Pass Hospital.

Badger wakes up.

Badger: Am I in Heaven?

Jesse and Badger laugh.

Jesse: Good to see ya.

Walter: Hey how you doing?

Badger: I feel like shit.

Walter: We all do sometimes.

Jesse: Where's Pete?

Badger: They got him.

Walter: Who?

Badger: The Salamanders.

Jesse: Salamanders?

Walter: Salamanders are amphibians that can regrow their-

Badger: No. The gangsters.

Walter: You mean the Salamancas?

Badger: Yeah, something along the lines.

_Announcer: This is channel 5 news with Tom Pusslicker._

_Tom: Good morning. Our top story, a body was found by Starks Pond today._

Jesse: Yo, Badger turn it up.

Badger turns up the TV.

_Tom: The cops don't have a name for this male who looks somewhere in his later 30s or mid 40s._

_Yates: If someone can name this male for us, it will make signing the paperwork much easier._

_The news shows an image of Pete._

Jesse and Badger stare in shock.

Badger: No.

Jesse: No. Pete.

Walter was shocked as well.

Badger: Pete was my best friend.

Badger started tearing up.

Jesse has a few tears rolling down his face.

Jesse: No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

Jesse throws the chair at the TV.

Jesse sits back down and starts crying.

Walter: Where are the Salamancas?

Meanwhile.

Broflovski and Goodman's law firm was a just a small building.

Randy entered the room that Saul and Gerald were in.

Gerald: Hey Randy. What brings you here?

Randy took a seat.

Randy: I need help.

Saul: What can we do for you?

Randy: I need advice.

Saul: Just tell us, my fingers are shaking with anticipation.

Randy: As you know my marijuana business was falling apart and I may have gotten help from a Mexican cartel.

Gerald and Saul were shocked.

Randy: I didn't know they were members of a cartel until their leader beaten a rival of mine to death.

Saul: Holy crap.

Gerald: I thought you were referring to financial advice.

Saul: Hey Gerald, I got this. Since this is a cartel we are taking about, I suggest you say "I want our partnership to end". But since this a cartel we are taking about, just tell them "I don't think it's working out". Got it?

Randy: Got it.

Gerald stares at Saul with suspicion.

Saul: And remember, if you have any problems with cartels or mob bosses, come to me ok?

Randy: Ok.

Randy left the office.

Later.

Tuco's crib.

Randy entered Tuco's office.

Tuco: Randy! What a nice surprise!

Randy: Hey Tuco. I came to tell you something.

Tuco: Couldn't you just tell me over the phone? We've got each other's numbers.

Randy: I want our partnership to end.

Tuco starts laughing.

Tuco: This is a joke right?

Hector (Tuco's Uncle) stares at Randy.

Randy: I'm serious Tuco.

Tuco: Why do you want our partnership to end?

Walter: You know why.

Walter enters the office.

Leonel and Marco pull their guns out of their pockets, whilst Hector stares at Walt with anger.

Walter: Good to see you too.

Randy: Walter I got-

Walter: Shut the fuck up Randy. I'm not here for you. I want to get one thing clear Tuco, stay well away from me. I don't want our rivalry to get in the way of what we do, do I make myself clear?

Tuco starts laughing.

Tuco: You're fucking with me man.

Randy: Yeah. You don't even look that intimidating Walt.

Walter: Oh. I am serious Tuco. Come anywhere near me or any of my crew and there's hell to pay. And Randy if you as far as go and try and destroy everything I worked for than there will be Hell to pay with you as well. I warned you to tread lightly around these guys.

Walt leaves the office and exists the crib.

Tuco laughs.

Tuco: Dumb bitch.

Randy: Pussy! I still wanna end our partnership by the way.

Suddenly there was an explosion and when Randy looked outside, he sees Tuco's chopper has been blown to smithereens.

Tuco: Holy shit!

Randy: He's still a pussy either way.


	7. New Allegiances

Tegridy Farms.

Randy walks in looking tired.

Towelie was sitting on the couch waiting for him.

Towelie: How did it go?

Randy grabbed an ice pack from the fridge and placed it on his eye.

Towelie: What happened?

Flashback.

(A/N: This takes place moments after Walt blew up Tuco's chopper).

Tuco was beating up Randy.

Tuco: This is what happens when people stop working for me.

After punching Randy a few more times Tuco stops.

Tuco: Now leave.

Now.

Randy: I ended the partnership and I got this-

Randy shows Towelie his black eye.

Randy: As a good bye gift.

Towelie: Did they have anything for me?

* * *

Intro

Starring

Randy Marsh

Bryan Cranston

Towelie

Aaron Paul

Sharon Marsh

Gerald Broflovski

Bob Odenkirk

Stan Marsh

Shelly Marsh

Title card shows up.

Breaking Tegridy.

* * *

Broflovski and Goodman's.

Saul: So, how did it go?

Randy shows Saul and Gerald the black eye.

Gerald: Oooooo.

Randy: Yup. I'm surprised they allowed me to live.

Saul: What about your business?

Randy: I'll continue making the weed and I will not try and go up against Walt even though I have the urge to.

Gerald: Why?

Randy: I mean I don't want to be put on trial again and have the jury get threatened by another cartel. I might as well continue with my business and hopefully make a few bucks.

Saul: So you're just gonna-

Randy: Yes Saul. This could be the end of Tegridy Farms.

Randy leaves the office.

Saul: Well, some things must come to an end.

Gerald: Yeah. Unfortunately.

Gerald continues staring at Saul suspiciously.

Three weeks later.

Sharon was out with her friends (Shiela, Linda and Liane).

Sharon was looking down whilst Shiela and Linda were just chatting.

Shiela: I don't know what Gerald would do without Saul around. He's really helpful.

Linda: He helped me get my insurance money after my car accident.

Shiela: Yes I've heard. And Liane, I heard he's available.

Liane: Oh, I don't know if I could.

Shiela: Come on Liane. Ever since you gave birth to your son, you've been more occupied with him instead of enjoying life.

Liane: Well, you do have a point.

Shiela: Sharon, you haven't spoken all night, is something wrong?

Sharon: Shiela, I need advice. My children and I have been disconnecting ever since they realised that I shouldn't have agreed to moving out of town. I should've divorced Randy when I had the chance, he's changing and not in a good way.

Linda: Well I think you just need to help hi-

Sharon gets off her chair and slams her hands on the table.

Sharon: You don't get it Linda! My husband hasn't changed at all! He's become something else, he's become something I cannot control. And even when I tell him he's become something else he just shrugs it off! And you just support him without realising how much of a monster he is!

Mr White: Randy Marsh, isn't a monster. You want a real monster, it's Walter White.

Mr White points to Walt and Jesse who were just sitting at the bar having a drink.

Mr White: Because of you Walt, Randy can't-

Sharon: Just shut up Robert! For once in your fucking life! And you're supporting a monster and you just don't seem to care!

Sharon leaves the bar in a fit of rage.

Jesse: You gonna follow her?

Walter: Nah. Best to not intervene.

Jesse: You heard that Marsh's business is falling apart. That means-

Walter: Jesse, I don't care about that. If he didn't blow up your RV than he wouldn't be in this mess.

Mr White: No. It's your presence. And if Randy goes out of business what will I do? What will I do without my weed? I don't like you at all Walt. You act like a nice person but really you're a monster.

Jesse: Don't you ever shut up bitch?

Mr White: I wasn't finished.

Walter: Jesse.

Walt and Jesse get off their bar stools and Walt places some money on the counter.

Walt and Jesse start to walk away.

Mr White: Oh. There you go. You don't have the balls to face a real White.

Walter and Jesse leave the bar.

Tegridy Farms.

Stan was in his room listening to music on his CD player.

Shelly walked in.

Shelly: Turn it down turd!

Stan: Well you can't be the only one who doesn't support what Dad does.

Shelly: What is that supposed to mean?

Stan turns the music up louder.

Shelly: Turn it down!

Shelly destroys the CD player.

Stan: Hey!

Shelly: I don't care turd!

Stan: Of course you don't! Every time you're angry, you take your anger out on me. I wanna know why.

Shelly: I don't know turd.

Stan: Yes you do! I wanna know why!

Shelly: I don't know why!

Stan: I wanna know why!

Shelly: Because ever since you were born, more attention has been put on you and your life is better than mine! You've got a girlfriend, a lot of friends, Mom and Dad try their best to support you! And what do I have? Fucking braces and three relationships that didn't work out so well!

Stan: Wait, who was number three?

Shelly: Nobody turd!

Shelly than threw a vase at Stan.

Shelly ran into her room and started crying.

Shelly: Fuck this farm!

The next day.

Randy and Towelie were eating at a fast food restaurant.

The two were both having fried chicken.

Randy: Why? Why is Walter White so good at business?

Towelie: I have no idea Randy.

Randy: I'm just gonna have to face it aren't I? I might as well move back to this crummy town.

A man approaches their table.

The man looked like he was in his late 40's or mid 50's.

The man was black and had grey hair and spoke in a Mexican sounding accent.

Man: Gentlemen.

Randy: Hey.

Man: I've been noticing you've not been paying your tabs.

Randy: What? That's what tabs were made for. So we can pay later.

Man: I've managed to keep track on your tabs and you have to pay me 789 dollars and 56 cent.

Randy: Listen sir. Me and my partner are having a rough time because my business is dying. I ended my partnership with some dude because he turned out to be the leader of a cartel. And I don't know if I can save my weed business.

The man stares at Randy.

Man: Well, I'm a businessman as well and I can tell you need to save your business.

Randy: Duh.

Man: Allow me to introduce myself, my name Gustavo Fring, but please call me Gus.

Randy and Gus shook each other's hands.

Randy: Randy Marsh, owner of T-

Gus: Tegridy Farms, I know. You're well known around these parts from what I've heard.

Randy: Wait, Gustavo Fring? You're the owner of Los Pollos Hermanoes.

Gus: I know.

Randy: Man, I love your chicken.

Gus: Well it is the taste of Mexico. Please, come into my office.

Suddenly there was a knock on the window, it was Mr Kim the owner of City Wok.

Mr Kim: Take your shitty chicken away from my Shitty Wok!

Gus: Mr Kim. I told you I don't want any competition.

Mr Kim: Oh there will be Mr Fwing, just wait.

Later.

Randy and Gus were in the office discussing.

Gus: Listen Marsh, I want to help you with your business.

Randy: You're not by any chance part of any cartels.

Gus chuckled.

Gus: That was in the past, I just want to sell some of the finest chicken on the planet.

Randy: So what do you want me to do?

Gus: I want you make a brand of weed that blends the taste of Mexico and the taste of Tegridy together. Can you do that?

Randy: Is O.J Simpson actually guilty?

Gus: Is that a yes?

Randy: Of course Mr Fring.

Randy and Gus shake hands.

The Old Marsh residence.

Walt was sleeping in his bed until he heard a noise downstairs.

Walt was startled.

Walt looks in the bedside cabinet.

Walt grabbed a gun.

Walt slowly walked downstairs.

There he sees Mr White trying to trash the place.

Mr White: Where is that second lab?

Walter points the gun at Mr White.

Walter: What the hell are you doing in my house?

Mr White: Oh. Hey Walt. I was looking for my wallet I left at your house party.

Walter: That was four weeks ago.

Mr White: Well I forgotten I had a wallet.

Walter: How does a man forget he has a wallet? That is a precious item a man would go crazy for if he ever lost it.

Mr White: Well I'm not one of those guys.

Walter: Mr White, I know you're lying.

Walter made it to the end of the stairs and continued to point his gun at Mr White.

Walter: Get out of my house.

Mr White: Ok. You got me.

Mr White pulls a knife out of his pocket and charges at Walt.

Walt continues to aim the gun at Mr White.

Walter throws the gun away and Mr White tackles Walt to the ground.

Mr White and Walt wrestle for the knife.

They continue to wrestle, until Walt kicked Mr White off of him.

Walter: Why are you doing this?

Mr White: Because you're destroying Tegridy Farms, the only thing that is stopping me from having horrible thoughts about my son's death.

Walter: I'm sorry about your son.

Mr White: Bullshit. I'm a White and you don't care.

Walt: I don't want to hurt you, get out!

Mr White: There can only be one Mr White!

Mr White tackles Walt to the ground again, they continue to wrestle for the knife again.

Walt kicks Mr White off him again.

Mr White got up and realised that the knife wasn't in his hand, nor was it on the floor, the knife was lodged in his chest.

Mr White: Oh crap.

Mr White fell to the ground.

Mr White: Walter help.

Walter stares at the sight.

Walter goes for the phone but he quickly hesitates and doesn't grab it.

Mr White: Look I'm sorry. Call an ambulance please.

Walter: Like you said, there can only be one Mr White.

Walt puts on a pair of gloves and removed the knife from Mr White's chest.

Mr White: Tegridy forever.

Mr White stopped breathing and succumbed to his wounds.

Walt stares at the body for a minute and grabs the phone.

Walter: 911...Yes, I need assistance.


	8. The Los Pollos Hermanos

We open to a graveyard where Mr White was being buried.

Mrs White was crying along with her daughter, whilst her adopted child was just staring off in the distance.

Randy was also at the funeral and so was Walt.

Randy and Walt stare at each other.

Randy (Speaking in his thoughts): I wonder why he's staring at me like that? Is he gay?

Randy mouthed "What?" to Walt.

Jesse was also there.

Jesse: Usually people would understand what you meant by that stare.

Walter: Well Randy's the one who's looking at me, so he won't understand me.

Walt continues staring at Randy.

Randy starts to get a little bit angry.

Randy: Stop staring at me you pervert!

Mr White's ghost suddenly appears.

Mr White: You're ruining my funeral!

Everyone screamed and ran away.

Mr White: Oh of course you all scream when you see my ghost. Because nobody cares about me even when I'm dead.

* * *

Intro

Starring

Randy Marsh

Bryan Cranston

Towelie

Aaron Paul

Giancarlo Esposito

Sharon Marsh

Gerald Broflovski

Bob Odenkirk

Stan Marsh

Shelly Marsh

Title card shows up.

Breaking Tegridy.

* * *

Later.

Los Pollos Hermanos.

Randy enters Gus' office.

Gus: What is taking the product so long?

Randy: I'm sorry Gus. A lot of stuff came up. I visited the funeral for one my customers. He died when he tried to murder Walt, he accidentally stabbed himself in the chest and stupidly removed the knife. I hope that doesn't offend you in anyway.

Gus does an evil stare at Randy.

Gus than smiles.

Gus: Not at all Randy. What brings you here?

Randy: I came here to apologise for not making the product. Like I said funeral.

Gus does his death glare.

Gus: You've been inactive for a week and you're losing more customers every week. You had plenty of time to think of a product that blends my business with yours. Now Marsh you're gonna be in a heap of trouble if you don't start making this product.

Randy: What will the trouble be?

Gus: I...will...

Randy stares in fear.

Gus: Sue you.

Randy: Oh. You looked like you wanted to murder me for a second. I'll start making the product today.

Gus: I know you will.

A man enters the room.

The man was Caucasian, he had a white goatee, he was bald and he looked like he was in his late 60's or mid 70's.

Man: You wanted me Gus?

Gus: Mr Marsh, I want you to meet Mr Mike Ehrmantraut. He helps me out with tasks that don't involve chicken.

Randy: Does he have any new ones?

Gus: As a matter of fact he does. Mike, I need you to keep an eye on Marsh and make sure he makes the product.

Randy: What?! Can you not watch me?!

Mike: I'm not allowed to say "no" to Gus.

Randy: Oh. Fuck you Gus.

Gus does his death glare.

Gus: Marsh unless you want your business to fail this is how it will go.

Mike: I think you better listen to him.

Randy: Fine.

Gus: Excellent.

Suddenly there was a knock on the window.

It was Mr Kim rubbing his ass on the window.

Mr Kim: This is because you're destwoying my shitty business.

Gus sighed.

Broflovski and Goodman's.

Walt and Jesse enter the office.

Saul: Hey.

Gerald: Oh. Hi Walt. What can we do for you?

Walter: Gerald, I just need to talk to Saul.

Gerald: Is it meant to be a secret?

Walter: It's something Saul just needs to know.

Gerald: I think I should hear it as well.

Walter: Gerald-

Gerald: Walt. I'm a lawyer as well. I can keep your secret no matter what it is.

Jesse: You sure you can? You may not like it yo.

Walter: Gerald, I killed Mr White. He did stab himself in the chest inadvertently, but I removed the knife, that is what killed him. I did it because he attacked me and if I called the doctors. He would recover and try again.

Gerald calmly smiles at Walt.

Saul: Gerald, you ok?

Gerald grabbed a phone and started to dial a number.

Walt pulled a gun out of his pocket and aimed it at Gerald.

Walter: Do not call anybody.

Gerald: Why shouldn't I?

Jesse stares on in fear.

Jesse: You should seriously listen to him.

Saul: Gerald, seriously listen to Mr White. I know him too well.

Gerald: I will not stand around and let this murderer go scott free.

Saul: Put the phone down Gerald and I promise I will explain everything.

Gerald stares at Saul for a moment.

Walt continues to point the gun at Gerald.

Gerald puts the phone down.

Gerald: Alright I will.

Walter puts the gun back in his pocket.

Walter: Tell anyone and the gun goes off.

Walt and Jesse exit the office.

Gerald: Now will you explain?

Saul: Alright. Back when I was working in Albuquerque, back when meth was still illegal. Walt came to me so I could save Badger from having a prison sentence after he accidentally tried to sell meth to an undercover cop. I than helped Walt with his illegal activities. But than something came up. His wife divorced him and he had the Salamancas after him. Once we made it to South Park, I took a job as a public attorney whilst Walt and Jesse started the meth business when it was announced it's been made legal.

Gerald: Wow. You and Walt have been through a lot of shit.

Saul: Yeah. I hope we don't get into a bigger mess here. I told you my secret, what are you gonna do about it?

Gerald: I'm not gonna rat out on you Saul. You may seem like a dirty scoundrel, but really you're just a guy trying to make a living, like me.

Saul: Thanks Gerald. You're actually a good person.

Gerald: Did you know I was SkankHunt42?

Saul: No way. You serious?

Gerald: Yeah.

Saul: Damn. That was some heavy shit you did.

Gerald: I know.

Tegridy Farms.

Randy and Towelie were in the weed barn making the weed whilst Mike was watching them.

Randy: Can you not?

Mike: It's my job.

Towelie: You're making us uncomfortable.

Mike: Just ignore me and make the product.

Randy: We won't until you leave.

Mike: I won't leave until you make the product.

Towelie: Randy, lets like not make the product.

Randy: Yeah. We're stopping production.

Mike: Like hell you are.

Mike pulls a gun out of his pocket.

Mike: Make the product.

Randy and Towelie put their hands in the air.

Randy: Whoah! Whoah! Whoah! This is so un-

Suddenly Randy pulls a shotgun from underneath the table and so did Towelie.

Randy: Fair.

They point their guns at each other.

Towelie: It's two against one bitch.

Randy: So either you leave us be and let us make the product or we pull the triggers.

Mike thinks for a moment.

Mike: Ok.

Mike conceals the weapon back in his pocket.

Mike exists the barn.

Randy: Ha, pussy!

Mike enters the house.

He notices Stan on the couch playing on his phone.

Mike goes to the TV and starts fiddling with it.

Stan: Hey, who are you? What are you doing?

Mike: Mike and don't tell your father about this.

Stan: About what?

Mike: This.

Mike turns on the TV and on the screen was Randy and Towelie making the product.

Stan: Why are you watching my Dad?

Mike: My boss hired me to watch your father. He told your father to make a weed that blends the taste of Mexico and Tegridy, but there was a delay in production and he was getting impatient. And than that's where I came in.

Stan: What did you do with the TV?

Mike: I turned your TV into a security monitor. I secretly set up a camera in the barn, whilst your Dad went to the bathroom.

Stan: Oh. I'm Stan by the way.

Mike: I know. I recognise you.

Stan: From my role in Crimson Dawn?

Mike: No. I know you as the kid who wanted to release an anti-bullying video and than went off jackin it in San Diego.

Stan: Oh. You heard of Crimson Dawn?

Mike: Not really. What kind of music is it?

Stan: Heavy metal.

Mike: Not really my type of music. Do your family support what you do?

Stan: Mom does, my sister I don't know and my Dad hasn't seen me perform once. I started the band to release the stress of moving away from South Park. Dad doesn't even care what me, my sister or that bitch what I-

Mike: Whoah. That's your mother.

Stan: Well she agreed to move out to this stupid farm.

Mike: Well it was a bad decision and people make bad decisions all the time. I mean look at me, I got myself into this life, a life I might not escape.

Stan: Do you enjoy what you do?

Mike: Worth it for the cash.

Stan: What about your family? Do they support what you do?

Mike: I got a daughter-in-law, she doesn't support what I do at times. I also got a niece, I haven't seen her in years. Never showed up to her wedding, because I was once a cop. And just too damn good at my job. My granddaughter doesn't know what I do, she's about your age or somewhere in between. I've not seen her in months. I don't know if she'll ever forgive me if she finds out what I do for a living. I don't know if she'll see me as a good person.

Stan: I've only known you for like a minute, but you seem like a decent guy.

Mike: Thanks. I usually don't get nice compliments like that from anyone else, apart from my granddaughter or my daughter-in-law. And I'll say the same thing about you Stan, you're not a bad kid.

Stan smiled whilst Mike just gave a small grin.

Mike continued watching the TV and saw that Randy had finally made a product.

Mike: And there we go.

Mike gets off the couch.

Stan: Great talking to ya Mike.

Mike: Same with you Stan. If you need to talk to me, just try and find me.

Mike exists the house.

Mike reenters the house.

Mike: I don't use social media just an FYI.

Mike exists the house again.

Mike enters the barn.

Mike: Is it done?

Randy shows Mike the weed.

Randy: It's done. And it is pure, no side effects as tested by Towelie.

Towelie: There's no totally no side effects.

Mike: Good, lets show it to Gus.

Los Pollos Hermanos.

Gus' office.

Gus smokes the weed.

Gus: I don't know what's in this, but I already like it. I may not be a weed user, but chances are people are gonna turn to Tegridy Farms for something this good.

Randy: Oh really?

Gus: Yeah.

Towelie: Randy, we're gonna be rich.

Randy: Hell yeah.

Suddenly there was a knock on the window.

It was Mr Kim again, but he was spray painting the window.

He painted something that resembled a dick on the window.

Gus: Again Mr Kim?

Mr Kim: You stay away from my Shitty!

Mike facepalmed himself.

Later.

Footage of weed was shown.

Than some footage of chicken being fried was shown.

Gus: Do you like a product that tastes like Mexico?

Randy: Or a product that tastes like Tegridy?

Gus: Well than try the new weed from Los Pollos Hermanos.

Randy: And Tegridy Farms.

Gus: Here at Los Pollos Hermanos and Tegridy Farms, we drive to make everything seem simple with a the hint of foreign properties for good measure.

Randy: Don't take our word for it. Try it yourself at Los Pollos Hermanos and Tegridy Farms.

Gus: The taste of Mexico.

Randy: And the taste of Tegridy.

Sharon watched the ad and turned off the TV.

Sharon went upstairs to check on Shelly, who was sleeping.

Sharon sighed.

Sharon left the house and drove the car.

She drove into South Park and drove to the old Marsh residence.

She knocked on the door and Walt answered.

Sharon grabbed Walt by the head and pressed her lips against his.

Walt was surprised but he returned the kiss.

Sharon closed the door as she and Walt continued to kiss.


	9. Reunions and Betrayals

We open to Kyle, Cartman and Kenny walking down the street.

Kyle: I still can't believe you Cartman.

Cartman: About what?

Kyle: You threw a bag full of shit at my Dad's law firm and my Dad put the blame on me.

Cartman: Well you were there with me Khal.

Kyle: I didn't know you were gonna throw a bag full of shit at my Dad's law firm.

Kenny: Which way should we take?

Cartman: How about that street?

They make a left and they notice a lot of dead bodies by a warehouse.

Kyle: What happened here?

They continue walking.

Kenny: Can there be a day where we leave all the weird and fucked up shit to professionals?

They walked and investigated the crime scene.

They notice that the bodies had bullet holes.

Kyle: Jesus, something must've happened here.

Kenny: Looks like a gang fight.

They notice a guy exiting the warehouse.

It was Tuco and he had a few cuts on his face and his shirt was covered in blood.

Kyle: You ok dude?

Tuco notices them and just ignores them.

One of the bodies grabs Cartman by the leg and Cartman screamed.

It was Don Eladio Vuente who grabbed his leg.

Tuco approached the Don.

Don (Speaking Spanish): Please.

Tuco (Speaking Spanish): No mercy.

Tuco starts to stamp on the Don's face repeatedly.

The boys couldn't help but watch on.

Tuco continued to stamp on his face until it became nothing.

The boys were shocked.

Tuco: You won't tell none about this, right?

Cartman: What you did was so kewl I won't tell anybody.

Kyle: We won't tell.

Kenny: I will tell somebody, you don't scare me.

Tuco suddenly shot Kenny in the head with his gun.

Kyle and Cartman stood in fear.

Kyle: Oh my God! You killed Kenny!

Tuco points the gun at them.

Tuco: How about you?

Kyle stood in fear.

Kyle: We won't tell!

Kyle and Cartman ran away.

Cartman: You're totally awesome by the way!

Tuco started to walk away.

* * *

Intro

Starring

Randy Marsh

Bryan Cranston

Towelie

Aaron Paul

Giancarlo Esposito

Sharon Marsh

Gerald Broflovski

Bob Odenkirk

Jonathan Banks

Stan Marsh

Shelly Marsh

Title card shows up.

Breaking Tegridy.

* * *

Old Marsh residence.

Sharon woke up and realised she was at her old house.

Sharon: What?

She looked on her right and realised that beside her was Walt.

Walt wakes up.

Walter: Morning. Would you like breakfast?

Sharon realised that she wasn't wearing any clothes underneath the bed sheets.

Sharon: Did we? Did we?

Walter: What?

Walt gets out of bed and puts on his tighty whities.

Sharon: We fucked didn't we?

Walter: I think we might've.

Walt looked at the box of condoms that were on the desk beside his bed.

Walter: Well at least it was protected.

Sharon: Oh my God!

Sharon gets out of bed and puts on some pants and also a shirt.

Sharon: I shouldn't have done it! I shouldn't have done it!

Walter: I'm so sorry.

Sharon: No, I came to you. Not you. And somehow, it felt right.

Walter: I don't know, if you should've done it.

Sharon: It still feels right.

Walter: Look Sharon, I don't really want this. I feel horrible for doing that.

Sharon: Yet I don't.

Walter: I still feel like we should remain friends.

Sharon: Yeah, I totally agree.

Jesse bursts into the room.

Jesse: Yo Mr White are-

Jesse notices Sharon.

Jesse: Oh. I'm sorry.

Walter: Jesse, can we speak outside?

Walter exists his bedroom.

Jesse: Mr White, did you-

Walter: I hate to say yes, but I did.

Jesse: Nice.

Jesse offers Walt a high five.

But Walt just stares at Jesse.

Jesse: Fist bump?

Jesse offers Walt a fist bump.

Walter: I'm not comfortable about it Jesse.

Jesse: Oh, you scared about what Mr-

Walter: Yes. I'm scared what Randy might think, he'll definitely kill me.

Jesse: Maybe we could give him a restraining order against you.

Walter: How? I don't know if I'm actually up to giving him a restraining order.

Jesse: Than you'll have to deal with the consequences.

Walter: No, he'll deal with the consequences. And that consequence will be me. Randy may be stupid, but I'm smart, smarter than he thinks.

Jesse: Yeah Mr White!

Meanwhile.

At the store Mike was looking at some milk.

Mike grabbed a carton.

Mike was walking until he heard the sound of glass breaking.

Mike turned around and saw Deborah Testaburger.

They stare at each other.

Deborah: Uncle Mike?

Mike: Hello Deborah. It's been years.

(A/N: Get pissed off with me all you want, but it's my story).

Deborah ran up to Mike and hugged him, Mike hugged her back.

Mike: Look at you.

Deborah: Same with you.

Mike: I'm so sorry I couldn't make it to the wedding sweetie. I was just too damn good at my job.

Deborah: You still a cop?

Mike: Not anymore. Although I do get hired to do tasks.

Deborah: I don't care what that means Mike, it's just so great to see you again.

Mike: Same with you Debbie.

Deborah: What are you doing in South Park?

Mike: Work and relaxing. And that's about it.

Deborah: Oh. That's interesting.

Mike: Yeah. Do you need help sweetie?

Deborah: What about you?

Mike: Well, I don't have any job assigned to me. So, I'll help you with groceries.

Deborah: Thank you Uncle Mike.

Meanwhile.

Tegridy Farms.

Randy and Towelie were making weed.

Randy: We gotta make more before the deadline.

Towelie: I'm going as fast as I can Randy.

Randy: Same. Hey, Shelly!

Shelly: What?!

Randy: Help me and Towelie out here.

Shelly: Fuck you and your marijuana!

Randy: When will you stop having that problem?

Shelly: You can't force me to change my opinion.

Shelly goes back to her room.

Randy: Ha. We're still making money.

Suddenly a phone started ringing.

Randy: I'll get it.

Randy answers the phone.

Randy: Hello?

Snoop: What up my nizzle?

Randy: Snoop Dogg?

Snoop: Yeah. That's me.

Randy: Do you want some Tegridy?

Snoop: Nah, I got something better. Just keep that rollin Seth.

Randy: Well what is it?

Snoop: Well, I wanna talk with Tuco about something, could you tell me where his crib at?

Randy: Sure, it's at some abandoned warehouse near the old SoDoSoPa district.

Snoop: Thank you Randy, you my nizzle.

Randy: Same with you.

Snoop hangs up.

Snoop: Got you your location.

Snoop was talking to Don Eladio Vuente.

Don: Thank you Snoop.

Seth Rogen: Hey you're not gonna kill him are ya? I mean he's been helpful. Because when some dude helps some big crime boss guy, he'll kill him.

The Don shoots Seth in the head.

Don: No. I'm not a big fan of your movies.

The Don and his goons leave.

Snoop: Well, just like last time.

Snoop goes to his knees and places his hands over his head.

Sirens are heard.

Testaburger residence.

Mike and Deborah enter the house with groceries in their hands.

They walk into the kitchen.

Deborah: Just place the groceries there.

Mike places two bags on the table.

Deborah: So, how's Matt? Haven't seen him in years.

Mike: Matt's dead.

Deborah: What? How?

Mike: Got killed by corrupt cops. I would've told ya, but I lost contact with ya. Because I know how close you two were. I sometimes feel like his death was my fault. I took bribes back in Philadelphia and I told Matt to take the bribe money, but he must've hesitated and that got him killed.

Deborah had tears rolling down her face.

Deborah: I'm so sorry, Uncle Mike.

Mike and Deborah hug.

Mike: It's alright sweetie.

Deborah: Did those bastards get what they deserve?

Flashback to Mike killing the cops are shown.

Mike kills the first one with a gun shot to the chest.

Mike shoots the second on the side of the neck.

Blood was gushing out and Mike finished him off by shooting him again.

Flashback ends.

Mike: Yeah. They got what they deserved.

The sound of the front door opening was heard.

Deborah and Mike stopped hugging each other.

Mike: Go dry your eyes out. I'll see who's there.

Mike exists the kitchen and walks into the living room.

In the living room was Deborah's husband Sean and their daughter Wendy.

Sean: Great job at volleyball Wendy.

Wendy: You were on your phone throughout Dad.

Sean: Hey, I watched five minutes does that count?

Wendy: Not really.

Mike: Aren't you gonna say hello?

Sean notices Mike.

Sean: Do I know you?

Mike: My apologies. Mike Ehrmantraut, I'm Deborah's Uncle.

Mike and Sean shake hands.

Mike: And I'm assuming you're Sean.

Sean: Yeah.

They stop shaking hands.

Sean: This is your grand niece, Wendy.

Mike: Yeah, I can tell. She has her mothers hair.

Sean: Wendy, why don't you go and have a shower? Ok sweetie.

Wendy: Ok Daddy.

Wendy ran upstairs to have a shower.

Mike: It's good to finally meet you.

Sean: You disappointed Deborah at our wedding.

Mike: I was busy Sean.

Sean: With what?

Mike: A job I was too good at to quit.

Sean: Job or not, my wife was still disappointed when you didn't show.

Mike: We've known each other for 50 seconds and quite frankly I'm not a big fan of your attitude.

Sean: Because you abandoned my wife on one of the most important days of our lives and than you just suddenly show up out of the blue-

Mike: We ran into each other. I can assure you, it was unintentional.

Sean: What are you doing in South Park anyway?

Mike: Work.

Sean: What kind?

Mike: Work that isn't your business.

Mike walks into the kitchen.

Mike: Need anymore help sweetie?

In the kitchen.

Deborah: Everything alright in there?

Mike: Me and your husband are getting off to a bit of a rough start, but I think we'll patch things up as we get to know each other.

Deborah: Well maybe I could invite you to dinner tonight, you know? To get to know Sean.

Mike: Doesn't sound like a bad idea and hopefully we can catch up on more things from the last 20 years.

Deborah: That's great Uncle Mike. Wendy's boyfriend is coming over tonight, I hope it's not a big deal.

Mike: I hope it won't be.

Deborah: Oh good. She and her boyfriend have been together for such a long time.

Mike: What's his name?

Deborah: Stan. Stan Marsh.

Mike stands in fear for a second.

Mike: Marsh?

Deborah: Yeah. Why, is there a problem?

Mike stares off.

Mike: Not really, I just thought the name sounded familiar. Someone I knew back in my old cop days.

Broflovski and Goodman's.

Sharon enters the office.

Saul: Mrs Marsh, what brings you here?

Sharon: Is it alright if I talk with Gerald?

Saul: Sure.

Sharon: Alone.

Gerald: What's it about Sharon?

Sharon: Marital problems.

Saul: Hey, fill me in. Because dealing with rough marriages is my thing as well.

Sharon: Ok. Guys, I fucked Walter White.

Gerald: What?!

Sharon: I don't know if it felt good. I mean, it felt right. I don't know Gerald, I'm going through a lot of mixed feelings right now.

Gerald: Well, I don't know what to suggest.

Saul: Divorce him?

Gerald: That's too easy Saul.

Saul: That's why the easy way is the best way.

Sharon: I don't know boys, I think I just need to think things over for a bit. I'm going for a long drive.

Saul: Divorce him!

Gerald: Knock it off Saul!

Suddenly a bag of shit hits the window.

Gerald opens the window.

Gerald: Kyle! You are grounded!

Sharon drives to Los Pollos Hermanos.

Sharon just orders some coke.

Sharon sits on a table for four hours, until she was approached by Gus.

Gus: You've been sitting there for four hours.

Sharon: I know. I don't know what to do right now, I'm in a bit of a crisis.

Gus: I don't know if I should get involved.

Sharon: I don't know if I should divorce my husband. I slept with another man and it felt good. And I'm starting to think that maybe I should divorce him. I mean should I?

Gus grabs a chair.

Gus: Look, I'm not a huge fan of getting into people's personal problems but, you want my advice? Go with your gut. I know it sounds cliched, I went with mine and now look at me. I own one of the biggest fast food chains in America. Just do what's right, don't let people tell you otherwise. Go with your gut.

Sharon: Thank you so much Gus.

Gus: Oh, you recognise me?

Sharon: No, it's on your name tag. That and you also have a big sign with a picture of yourself that says "I'm the manager. Gus Fring".

Gus: Well, that does make it obvious.

Sharon offers Gus some money.

Gus: No. You're going through a bit of a crisis, it's on the house.

Sharon: Thank you.

Tuco's crib.

Tuco was doing cocaine.

Tuco: Tight! Tight! Tight! Tight!

Emilio: Yo Tuco. Some car just parked outside.

Tuco: Go see who it is. I'm busy at the moment.

Tuco takes another sniff of coke.

Emilio goes outside to see who's parked up.

And it was Don Eladio Vuente.

Emilio: Can I-

The Don grabs his gun and shoots Emilio dead.

Tuco hears the noise.

Tuco: Leonel, Marco protect Uncle Hector.

Leonel and Marco get their guns out and move over to Hector and wheel him out of the room.

Tuco: Boys with me.

Tuco and all 12 of his goons exit the building to talk with Don Eladio Vuente.

Tuco stands right in front of the Don.

Tuco: Why did you kill Emilio?

Don: To send you a message.

Tuco: Why?

Don: I've not been getting my shipments of Tegridy Weed like you promised.

Tuco: That's the thing though, my partnership with Tegridy Farms kind of ended.

Don: Oh.

Don (Speaking Spanish): Alejandro. Take Tuco inside and take care of him.

Alejandro takes Tuco inside the warehouse.

Alejandro takes Tuco to his office.

Alejandro: Sit.

Tuco sat down.

Alejandro pulls a knife out of his pocket and cuts Tuco's right cheek with it.

He than cuts it again.

Than he cuts Tuco's head.

Alejandro: Now those are gonna be some badass scars once they find the body.

Suddenly gunfire was heard.

Alejandro: What the?

Tuco got out of his chair and tackled Alejandro to the ground and starts to beat him up.

Tuco repeatedly punched him causing a bit of blood to fly on his shirt.

The punching stopped once all the gunfire was silenced.

Tuco saw that Alejandro wasn't breathing anymore and spat on his corpse.

(A/N: It's not Mexican Joker, don't worry. I just made this character up).

Meanwhile.

Leonel and Marco were wheeling their uncle to a safe house on the outside of town.

Marco's phone starts ringing.

Leonel stops.

Marco (Speaking Spanish): Take Uncle Hector to the safe house, I'll catch up.

Leonel nods and continues to wheel Hector to the safe house.

Marco answers.

Marco (Speaking Spanish): Hello?

Tuco: Hey Marco. I want to let you know that Don Eladio Vuente, is dead and his bitches as well. Don't try and find me Marco, you and Leonel take care of Uncle Hector. I got business of my own to attend to.

Tuco hangs up and throws the phone away.

Tuco than starts to walk.

He walks past a sign that said, Tegridy Farms, 8 miles.


	10. Not So-Safe House

Tegridy Farms.

Randy and Towelie were making some more of the Los Pollos Hermanos.

Whilst Randy was on the phone.

Randy: Don't worry Mr Fring, we're gonna meet the deadline as soon as we can.

At Los Pollos Hermanos.

Gus was on the phone.

Gus: Hurry up Marsh...Mr Kim is driving my patience.

Mr Kim was rubbing his dick on the window.

Mr Kim: Yeah. Fuck you Gus Fwing.

Gus sighed.

Gus: Look, I'll call you back. I'm gonna deal with Mr Kim.

Gus hangs up and pulls a box cutter out of the drawer.

Back at Tegridy Farms.

Randy: Come on Towelie, we're not gonna meet the deadline.

Towelie: I'm going as fast as I can Randy!

Suddenly there was a knock on the door.

Randy: I'll get it.

Randy opened the door and Tuco was standing on the front porch.

Randy: Tuco, what brings you here?

Tuco: You.

Tuco points a shotgun at Randy.

Randy places his hands up.

Towelie: Oh. There's the shotgun I was looking for.

* * *

Intro

Starring

Randy Marsh

Bryan Cranston

Towelie

Aaron Paul

Giancarlo Esposito

Sharon Marsh

Gerald Broflovski

Bob Odenkirk

Jonathan Banks

Stan Marsh

Shelly Marsh

Title card shows up.

Breaking Tegridy.

* * *

Tegridy Farms.

Tuco was still pointing the gun at Randy.

Randy: Whoah, take it easy Tuco.

Towelie: What's going on?

Tuco: Sit down.

Randy and Towelie sit on the couch.

Tuco sits on the chair in front of them with the gun pointing at them.

Randy: What the hell is going on?

Tuco: I think you know what's going on.

Randy: No.

Tuco: Yes you do.

Randy: No I don't. Towelie?

Towelie: I haven't got the foggiest idea.

Tuco: My crib was attacked by Don Eladio and his forces.

Randy: Attacked?

Tuco: My goons and his goons were gunned down.

Randy: What about Don? Is he ok?

Tuco: I don't know, I have him right here actually.

Randy: I don't see him.

Towelie: Where is he?

Tuco puts the heel of his foot on the table.

And on the bottom of his show was a pink substance.

Tuco: Do you know what this is?

Towelie and Randy stare at it.

Towelie: Looks like gum.

Towelie takes the pink stuff off the bottom of Tuco's shoe.

Towelie starts to eat it.

Tuco: That's the Don's brain.

Randy was shocked.

Towelie: I don't know what you're shocked about, it tastes great.

Tuco: Enough of this shit!

Tuco cocks the gun.

Randy: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! My daughter's upstairs and she'll hear the gun shot.

Tuco: Oh really?

Randy: Yeah!

Tuco: Than I'll kill her.

Randy: Shit!

Shelly starts walking downstairs and Tuco quickly hides the gun.

Shelly: I'm going to the book fair.

Randy: Um ok Shelly. Hey Shelly.

Shelly: What?!

Randy: 8, 5, 12, 16.

Randy stares at Shelly.

Shelly: What the fuck are you saying?!

Shelly exits the house.

Tuco: What were those numbers for?

Randy: Nothing.

Tuco: Alright, I'm ready to kill you.

Tuco cocks the gun again.

Towelie: You do realise that Randy's the only one you can kill right? I'm a towel.

Tuco: I'll be back in a jiffy.

Tuco exists the house.

Tuco walks into the barn and grabs a flamethrower.

Tuco: Idiots.

Tuco reenters the house.

Randy: What were you getting?

Tuco: This.

Randy: A flamethrower? I don't remember buying a flam-

Towelie: I bought it.

Randy: Why?

Towelie: Protection.

Randy: But you could burn the weed!

Tuco: Enough chit chat.

Tuco cocks the gun again.

Tuco: Goodbye bitches.

Suddenly a ringtone is heard.

Randy: That's mine.

Tuco: Answer it.

Randy answers the phone.

Randy: Hello?

Sharon: Hey Randy.

Randy: Hey Sharon, where have you been?

Sharon: I went out for a long drive, didn't I tell you?

Randy: I don't know.

Sharon: I did. Listen Randy, I'm coming home tonight and I want us to talk.

Randy: About what?

Sharon: About us.

Randy: Can we discuss this over the phone?

Sharon: No, I think we should discuss this face to face.

Randy: But it would be easier.

Sharon: But this is something we should discuss face to face.

Randy: Alright Sharon. I love you.

Sharon sighed.

Sharon: Love you too Randy.

Randy: Sharon wait.

Sharon: What?

Randy: 8, 5, 12, 16.

Sharon: What the fuck does that mean?

Randy hangs up.

Tuco: It's definitely divorce man.

Randy: No, it's not.

Tuco: I can tell.

Randy: How?

Tuco: Discussions, face to face. Doesn't that kind of ring any bells?

Randy: No.

Tuco: Shame, you're never gonna know what she wants to talk about.

Tuco cocks the gun again and aims it at Randy.

Randy: Wait, why do you think I'm behind Don attacking your quarters?

Tuco: Well, you were one of the few people who knew the location.

Randy: Couldn't one of the goons have told the location?

Tuco: My crew has a bond, "don't tell nobody shit".

Randy: Oh.

Tuco: Enough talk lets-

Suddenly Randy's phone starts ringing.

Randy: You want me to?

Tuco: Yes.

Randy answers the phone.

Randy: Hello?

On the other line it was Marvin.

Marvin: Hi Howard. I'm calling you to say that you're a mistake.

Marvin laughed.

Randy: Thanks Dad.

Marvin: I have nothing else to say except you're a mistake and I don't support your business.

Randy: Dad.

Marvin: What?!

Randy: 8, 5, 12, 16.

Marvin: Are you telling me to fuck off in numbers?

Randy: No Dad.

Marvin: Fuck you too Howard.

Marvin hangs up.

Tuco: Do you think I'm stupid? You're trying to call for help.

Randy: No.

Suddenly the phone starts ringing.

Randy answers it.

Gerald and Saul were on the other line.

Saul: Hey Randy-

On the other line, Tuco grabs the phone out of Randy's hand and presses the end call button and throws the phone away.

On the other end.

Gerald: I guess she told him.

Saul: Deffo.

Tegridy Farms.

Tuco: Enough bullshit lets-

Suddenly there was a knock on the door.

Tuco: Fuck! Answer it!

Randy: What?

Tuco: Fucking answer it! And make sure I'm not seen.

Randy answers the door and standing on the front porch was Walt and Jesse.

But Randy only opened a bit of the door.

Walter: Hey Randy.

Walt shows Randy the case of beer in his hand.

Walter: I thought we could put this petty rivalry behind us and have a drink.

Jesse: Yeah. Bitch.

Randy: Wow, you like to say bitch a lot.

Jesse: Yeah, bitch.

Randy: Listen Walt, I'd love to but work is killing me and I have to meet the deadline with Gus.

Walter: Yes, I'm aware by your commercials that you're working with Gus.

Randy: Yes. So could you come back some other time?

Walter: Ok. I still hope we can put this petty rivalry behind.

Randy: Walt, wait.

Walter: Yes?

Randy: 8, 5, 12, 16.

Walter stares at Randy for a bit and from the corner of his eye, he could see Tuco.

Walter does a threatening glare at Randy.

Walter: Handle this yourself and tread lightly around Gus.

Walt closes the door.

Tuco: Finally I can kill you.

Tuco cocks the gun and aims it at Randy.

Whilst Towelie was just getting high on the weed.

Tuco pulls the trigger and...nothing.

Tuco: Shit!

Tuco tried a few more times, but every attempt was just a click.

Randy shows Tuco the shotgun ammo.

Randy tackles Tuco to the ground.

Tuco kicks Randy off of him.

Tuco kicks Randy.

Randy gets up off the floor and punches Tuco again.

Randy and Tuco start to punch each other repeatedly.

Their fight continues into the kitchen.

Randy throws a plate at Tuco.

Tuco than tackles Randy onto the table.

Tuco punches Randy again.

Tuco grabs a knife from the table and tries to stab Randy with it.

Randy grabs Tuco by the wrist to try and stop the knife from piercing his skin.

Tuco pushes the knife into Randy's shoulder and Randy screamed in pain.

But the knife didn't go in deeper because Randy kicked Tuco off of him.

Randy ran into the living room.

Tuco: You can't run Randy!

Tuco got up off the floor and walks into the living room.

Tuco: Where's Marsh?!

Towelie: He went into the basement. I don't care if you kill him, I'm too high to care.

Tuco starts to walk to the basement.

Tuco: Marsh! What I do to you is for my family!

Tuco opens the door to the basement and gets shot in the leg.

Tuco falls down the stairs.

The person who shot Tuco was Randy, who was using the shotgun that Tuco used.

Randy was doing heavy breathing.

Tuco was screaming in pain.

Tuco: Ha. I'm still not done with you Marsh. You don't have the balls to kill-

Randy shoots Tuco in the chest.

Tuco continued laughing.

Tuco: I'm gonna kill your-

Randy shoots Tuco in the chest again.

Tuco: Weed.

Randy shoots Tuco in the head.

Randy: Holy shit!

Suddenly the phone starts ringing.

Randy grabs the phone.

Randy: Gus! I'm doing my best to make the deadline because I was almost killed by the leader of the cartel I worked with before!

Randy slapped his hand on his mouth.

On the other line.

Gus: Oh. Is he dead?

Randy: I'm pret-

Tuco: I'm still alive!

Randy shoots Tuco in the head again.

Randy: He's totally dead. I know what you're gonna do now Gus, you're gonna call-

Gus: No cops. I've handled situations like this with people like you before. Do you know what I do?

Randy: What?

Gus: I got a guy. Now what's the corpse's name?

Randy: Tuco Salamanca.

Gus stands in fear, he tries to keep his cool but deep down he's scared.

Testaburger residence.

The Testaburger's, Mike and Stan were having dinner together.

Sean was staring at Mike with suspicion whilst Mike was staring at Stan.

Deborah notices the uncomfortable silence.

Deborah: So Stan, how goes the band?

Stan: We're doing well, we're currently practicing at Butters'.

Mike: How long have you and your band been together?

Stan: A few months. I started it as a way to relieve the stress of moving away from South Park.

Mike: Hmm. Debbie, can me and Stan talk for a second? I'm just giving him some advice.

Deborah: Oh, okay Uncle Mike.

Mike and Stan go to talk somewhere privately.

And that private place was the kitchen.

Mike closes the door.

Mike: Has she ever been to the farm?

Stan: You're Wendy's uncle?

Mike: Yes. I only found out today and I only found out that you were her boyfriend a few hours before this dinner. Now, answer my question, has she ever been to the farm?

Stan: Wendy? Well sometimes.

Mike: Has she ever met your Daddy?

Stan: Well the new one, yes.

Mike: Stan, now I want you to do me a favour, it's huge and important.

Stan: Ok, what is it?

Mike: Make sure Wendy stays well away from that farm. I've only find out she exists and I want to be as good as a great uncle as I am a Grandfather. You're Dad's a psychopath and she shouldn't be around him. Make sure she stays away from that farm. Ok, sport?

Stan: Alright.

Mike: Good.

Stan and Mike were about to exit the kitchen when Mike's phone started to ring.

Mike answered it.

Mike: Hello...Hey Gus...What is it?...New assignment?...Ok, what's the assignment...Marsh did what?!


	11. A Proper Funeral

We open to Gus signing papers in his office.

Suddenly there was a knock at his office door.

Gus: Enter.

Mr Kim entered the office.

Gus pulls a box cutter out of his drawer.

Mr Kim: Whoah, Whoah, Whoah. No, no, no, box cutter. I want to stop our siry rivalry.

Gus: How?

Mr Kim sits on the chair in front of Gus' desk.

Mr Kim: Maybe we can twy to talk things out. I want us to get to know each orther. So we won't be enemies.

Gus: Mr Kim, I know what you're game is. You're trying to keep me off guard, so I won't be able to notice the fact that you're pulling a gun out of your pocket in an attempt to kill me.

Mr Kim pulls a gun out of his pocket and points the gun at Gus.

But quickly Gus grabbed Mr Kim by the gun hand causing the gun to fall out of his hand.

Gus than slams the hand onto the desk and than stabs the hand with his box cutter.

Mr Kim screamed in pain.

Gus removed the box cutter from Mr Kim's hand.

Gus: If you attempt to kill me again, than I will have no choice but to kill you. Tell people you cut your self chopping up your city chicken.

Mr Kim continued screaming.

Mr Kim got off the chair and ran out of the office.

Gus used a paper towel to wipe the blood off his box cutter and desk.

Gus than takes off a polythene glove from his hand.

Gus than grabs a remote and turns on the TV.

The news is on and Gus sees something that interests him.

Gus: Well, I guess that's what you get when you mess with the Salamancas.

* * *

Intro

Starring

Randy Marsh

Bryan Cranston

Towelie

Aaron Paul

Giancarlo Esposito

Sharon Marsh

Gerald Broflovski

Bob Odenkirk

Jonathan Banks

Stan Marsh

Shelly Marsh

Title card shows up.

Breaking Tegridy.

* * *

Earlier.

Tegridy Farms.

Randy and Towelie were in the living room walking around anxiously.

Than they heard a knock on the door.

Randy opened the door and Mike was standing on the front porch.

Randy: Hey Mike.

Mike: Please tell me there isn't a dead Salamanca in your basement.

Towelie: There was a dead salamander in the basement but I-

Mike: I don't care about the salamander, I only care about the Salamanca.

Mike and Randy walk down the stares that lead to the basement.

Mike: No, no, no, no.

Randy: What?

Mike: You are sure he's dead?

Tuco: Mike Ehrmantraut, is that-

Randy screams and shoots Tuco with his shotgun again.

Mike: Jesus Christ!

Randy: So, what do we do? And why are you so concerned about this guy?

Mike: Body now, story time later.

Towelie: What do we do?

Mike: We get a plastic bin and hydrofluoric acid. You have that right?

Randy: No.

Mike: Well go get-

Randy: Listen, my wife might be home soon and she'll freak out when she sees Tuco's corpse. I don't have time to get hydrofluoric acid and a plastic bin.

Mike: Well, I got another idea. But it's gonna take some swindling and I know a guy.

Broflovski and Goodman's

Saul and Gerald were eating gum together.

Gerald: Do you think Sharon's told Randy yet?

Saul: She probably has.

Saul's phone starts ringing.

Saul: Hello?

_Mike: Saul, it's Mike._

Saul: Mike, what is it? I hate to tell you I'm in South Park but-

_Mike: I'm just outside of South Park. I'm at Tegridy Farms and I could use your help._

Saul: With what?

_Mike: I need you to use your swindling powers to get me a coffin that can hold a guy that is 5 foot and 6 inches and a funeral car. Think you can do that?_

Saul: Worth a risk. Catch ya later Mike.

Saul hangs up.

Gerald: Who was it?

Saul gets off his chair.

Saul: An old accomplice of mine.

Gerald: Oh.

Saul: Anyway, where can I find a funeral home?

Gerald: There's one near the Malkinson residence. Why?

Saul: I think you know.

Gerald: No, I don't.

Saul: You'll know.

Tegridy Farms.

Randy: So what do we do?

Mike: Clean the blood. Since I've noticed there's no drain in here, I suggest you clean the blood with a lot of wet paper towels.

Towelie: Or maybe I could do it since, I'm a towel.

Mike: That's the thing though, you're a towel. No matter how hard you try to scrub the blood off, some may remain on ya and it'll stick out.

Towelie: You're a towel.

Mike: I'll deal with the body.

Mike carries the body onto a table.

Mike: Now, clean the fucking blood.

Randy: A please would be nice.

Mike: This isn't a time to be polite or conversations, this is a time consuming matter. Like I said before; clean the fucking blood.

Meanwhile.

Saul walks into a funeral home.

Receptionist: Can I help you?

Saul: Hi, do you have a coffin made for a man with the height of 5 foot and 6 inches?

Receptionist: No, but we do have one that can fit a person of 6 foot.

Saul: That'll do.

The receptionist grabs the coffin.

Receptionist: Is it for someone special?

Saul: Family member of somebody.

Receptionist: Of course.

Saul grabs the coffin.

Saul: Thanks.

Receptionist: You're welcome.

Saul turns around and notices the Salamanca cousins outside the funeral home.

Saul: Oh shit.

Receptionist: What?

Saul: Those are my cousins.

Receptionist: Really? They don't look-

Saul: We're living in a PC town remember?

Receptionist: You're right, I shouldn't judge.

Saul covers his face with the coffin.

The cousins enter.

Receptionist: Hi, what can I do you for?

Saul, (still covering his face with the coffin) tries to sneakily exit the funeral home.

As Saul was trying to escape, the cousins gave the receptionist a piece of paper.

Receptionist: Oh. Guess the funeral's for somebody pretty big.

Leonel and Marco stare at the receptionist.

Saul exits the facility as sneakily as he could.

Receptionist: I'm assuming by those sinister glares, it's for somebody big.

Saul runs as fast as he can with the coffin and quickly puts the coffin in his car and than quickly gets in the car and drives off.

Meanwhile.

Testaburger residence.

Stan was ready to leave.

Wendy: Thanks for coming Stan.

Stan: You're welcome.

Stan and Wendy gave each other a quick kiss.

Sean: Stan, can I borrow you for a moment?

Stan: Of course.

Wendy: Dad wh-

Sean: It's ok Wendy, just gonna give him the "Dad" talk.

Wendy: Ok.

Stan and Sean walk into the kitchen.

Sean: What did Mike tell you in here?

Stan tries to think of a lie.

Stan: Mike just gave me advice about being around Wen-

Sean: That's a lie Stanley and you know it. Tell me, what he said.

Stan: Ok, Mike was telling me to make sure that Wendy stayed well away from my Dad. He knows how much of a danger he is.

Sean: Mike's around 70, he doesn't know what he's talking about.

Stan: I'm pretty sure he does, my Dad blew up your backyard after all.

Sean: But why did he tell you specifically?

Stan: Me and Mike met before tonight. He came over to my house to make sure my Dad makes this new kind of weed. He was sent by my Dad's new boss to watch him.

Sean: So, you know Mike well?

Stan: Not really. I only met him once before.

Sean: I don't think you should trust him Stan.

Stan: Why Sean?

Sean: It's just I have a bad feeling about him.

Stan: Oh, ok. Listen, I gotta go or my Mom will be-

Sean: What does Mike do?! Who does he work for?!

Stan: I think he works for Gus Fring.

Sean: Oh.

Stan: Is it a big deal?

Sean: I thought he might've worked for some kind of kingpin for a second, so not really. Alright Stan, you can go now. Sorry I held you back a bit.

Stan: It's alright Sean.

Stan left the kitchen.

Wendy: Did he go rough on you?

Stan: Not exactly.

Meanwhile.

Saul was in a scrapyard looking for a funeral car.

A mechanic approached Saul and he looked similar to Fred Gwynee from Pet Semetary.

Mechanic: Can I help you? Ayuh

Saul: Yeah, I need a funeral car. And I want it to be in good shape.

Mechanic: So you're the owner?

Saul: Well obviously.

Mechanic: Haven't seen ya for a year.

Saul: Well I'm a busy person.

Mechanic: And I swear you were blonde.

Saul: I dyed my hair.

Mechanic: And I swear you were a woman.

Saul: I had a sex change.

The mechanic stares at Saul with suspicion.

Mechanic: I see.

Saul: Now, about the funeral car?

Mechanic: Ayuh. Follow me.

Saul follows the mechanic.

Mechanic: This is it. And in good condition.

The mechanic shows Saul the funeral car.

Saul: Perfect.

Mechanic: Be careful. One of the cars here is said to be possessed. So you better be careful with that one, ayuh. And if you notices a bump or a mark that disappears after a day, throw it into somewhere where it can't follow ya.

Saul: Are you making this up?

Mechanic: Well everywhere I go, something intense happens to people who seem interesting. Best to warn them before something bad happens. So be careful with that car, ayuh.

Saul: Will do.

Saul puts the coffin in the back of the car and gets into the driver's seat and drives off.

Mechanic: Guess that car wasn't a killer. Made it up anyway. But which car is actually possessed?

The mechanic walks away, but is unknowingly being followed by a floating spanner.

Old Marsh residence.

Walter and Jesse were watching TV.

Jesse: So Gus?

Walter: He's here by the sounds of it.

Jesse: Why do you think he moved here?

Walter: Probably just to make a living, but I guess he had no idea we were here.

Jesse: Probably.

They stare at the screen for a bit.

The TV was showing Team America: World Police.

_Matt Damon: Matt Damon_

Jesse: Shall we poison him with the ricin cigarette?

Walter: Jesse, I don't want to kill Gus. It's best he doesn't know we're here.

Jesse: But what if he finds out?! We can't just sit here act like nothing will ever come to this!

Walter: Jesse! If he does find out than I will think of something! We will not leave South Park, we make a lot of money here. But I will think of something if he ever finds out we're here.

Jesse: But if he does find out, I'm gonna kill him after what he did to Brock.

Walter: You'll get your revenge Jesse don't worry.

Tegridy Farms.

Saul arrived in the funeral car and Mike was waiting for him on the porch.

Mike: Bring the coffin inside.

Saul and Mike bring the coffin to the basement.

Saul: So who did Randy Marsh kill?

Mike: You're gonna be pissed off.

Saul: Try me.

Mike shows Saul the body of Tuco.

Saul: Oh my God! Randy, did you know what you were doing?!

Randy: Well he was trying to kill me, so yeah!

Saul: But this is a Salamanca! They will-

Mike: We'll tell him later, right now. Let's get this coffin into the car.

Later.

They put the coffin into the back of the funeral car.

Mike: I think it's best if you come with us Randy.

Randy: Why?

Mike: You started the mess and you're gonna end it by having the honor of cremating the body.

Randy: Ok.

Sharon arrives.

Sharon gets out of the car.

Sharon sighed.

Sharon: Randy, we need to-

Randy: Talk to you later Sharon, got a lot of stuff to deal with.

Randy, Saul and Mike enter the funeral car.

Sharon just went back inside and sat down on the couch.

The funeral car drove away as Shelly (Who was getting back from the book fair) stared at it with suspicion.

Meanwhile.

Sharon was sulking on the couch.

Towelie sat next to her.

Towelie: Do you wanna talk about your problems?

Sharon: Sure. Towelie I think I-

Towelie: While I get high?

Sharon: Never mind.

Sharon went upstairs.

Meanwhile at the morgue.

Mike, Saul and Randy put the coffin in the cremation machine and Randy turns on the machine.

Saul, Mike and Randy watch as the coffin burnt.

Saul: Are you sure he's dead?

Randy: Absolutely.

Tuco (Voice): Where am I? Why is it hot? Wait a minute, I'm-Oh God! Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!

Tuco's screams are heard as Randy, Mike and Saul try to talk to one another.

Saul: Mike, this will be the last time I get involved with a murder coverup. Got it?

Mike: You'll probably do more in the future.

Saul sighed and exits the building.

But before Saul exited the building, he walked past Randy and whispered something in his ear.

Randy: What? Saul? What do you mean by that?

Mike: It wasn't nice working with ya.

Randy: Aww, I enjoyed working with ya.

Mike: I didn't because you murdered a Salamanca. I'll see you later.

Randy: Why was murdering that guy such a big deal?

Mike: You wanna know?

Randy: Duh.

Mike sighed.

Mike: Very well. The Salamancas aren't just some everyday Mexican cartel, they are the most ruthless I've ever encountered. If one member of the family gets murdered, than the Salamancas will find you and they won't stop until you're dead. No matter where you run or hide, they'll eventually find you and make sure you're dead. I'm pretty sure you've met Tuco's ruthless cousins, because if you did than you know they mean serious shit. And because of what you did to Tuco, they'll be on your ass. Stay safe, if you can.

Mike exists the morgue.

Randy stares at Mike walking away, than he looks at the coffin burning in the cremation machine with a look of fear on his face.


	12. Hide and Seek

We open to the old Marsh residence.

Walt was in the living room staring at the house phone.

Jesse: Yo Mr White. What are you doing?

Walter: I've just been expecting the crank call from Randy, it's been a day and still no crank call.

Jesse: Oh. Jimmy Fallon's on soon. I heard he's gonna interview the PC Babies.

Walter stares at the phone.

Walter: Ok Jesse.

Walt sits on the couch.

Jesse opens a case of beer and grabs one for himself.

Walter: Give me one.

Jesse passes Walt a beer.

Walt turns on the TV.

Announcer: We interrupt tonights broadcast with a breaking news bulletin.

Walter: What?!

Jesse: Come on yo!

Walt and Jesse stare at the TV for a second, but are in shock a few moments later.

Jesse: No way bitch.

Badger enters the living room.

Badger notices the news.

Badger: Guess that's what he gets for working with the Salamancas.

* * *

Intro

Starring

Randy Marsh

Bryan Cranston

Towelie

Aaron Paul

Giancarlo Esposito

Sharon Marsh

Gerald Broflovski

Bob Odenkirk

Jonathan Banks

Stan Marsh

Shelly Marsh

Title card shows up.

Breaking Tegridy.

* * *

Earlier.

Gus' office.

Gus was signing some papers.

Randy and Towelie enter the office.

Randy: Hey Gus, we-

Gus quickly gets out of his seat and closes the door and shuts the curtains.

Randy: What are you doing?

Gus: No! What are you doing?

Randy: Me and Towelie came to give you some more of the Los Pollos Hermanos.

Gus: That's Good, but the bad thing is you.

Randy: Oh, I'm fired.

Gus: You killed a Salamanca! Don't you know what they do? I'll tell you, they-

Randy: It's ok Gus, Mike already told me.

Gus: Oh.

Towelie: I don't think I'm caught up.

Gus: It doesn't matter, you didn't kill the Salamanca.

Randy: So?

Gus: So?! Once they find out that you work for me they'll try and kill me and I won't be there to run my business.

Randy: Oh. So-

Gus: You're not taking this seriously! You need to hide!

Randy: But where?

Gus: Anywhere. You're suspended until the Salamancas stop looking for you.

Randy: How long does that take?

Gus: Nobody knows. They tend to never give up.

Randy: What?! But I got a business to run.

Gus: Towelie will take over until things are sorted. Do I make myself clear?!

Randy: I would say no, but you're face is so intimidating to look at.

Gus: Good, now hide.

Randy: Do you know where I can hide?

Gus: I'm a business man, not the champion of hide and seek.

Towelie: I'm the champion of hide and seek.

Meanwhile.

Testaburger residence.

Wendy enters the house and gets startled when her father turns on the light.

Sean was standing by the light switch.

Sean: Oh, it's you.

Wendy: What are you doing?

Sean: Nothing sweetie, go upstairs.

Wendy starts walking upstairs and Sean turns off the light.

A few moments later, Deborah enters the house with groceries.

Sean turns on the light again and startles Deborah.

Deborah: What are you doing?

Sean: Waiting for someone.

Mike enters the house.

Mike: Just a few more things sweetie.

Sean: Aww! I was saving that for you Mike.

Mike: Saving what?

Sean: Never mind. Mike, I just need to talk to you.

Mike stares at Deborah.

Deborah: I'll handle the rest Uncle Mike.

Mike and Sean walk into the kitchen.

Sean: I know what you do Mike.

Mike: You do? Who told you?

Sean: Stan did.

Mike: He doesn't know about me.

Sean: Yes he does.

Mike: I don't know if he knows what he's on about.

Mike reaches into his gun pocket.

Sean: I think he knows and I know the truth.

Mike: What do you know?

Sean: I know that you work for Gus Fring. I didn't know you worked for that guy, what are you to him?

Mike: I sometimes get hired as his bodyguard.

Sean: Bodyguard?

Mike: A big man like him has to have enemies.

Sean: True. I'm aware you were hired to keep an eye on Randy Marsh.

Mike: Just to make sure he made the Los Pollos Hermanos.

Sean: Oh.

Mike: Why were you asking those questions?

Sean: Listen Mike, I'm sorry. I had doubts about you.

Mike: It's alright Sean.

Sean: It's just you looked like the kind of guy who's killed.

Mike: I ran over a few dogs in my time.

Flashback to Mike running over a few people is shown.

Sean: Yeah, they always get in the way. Anyway, could you pick up Wendy from school tomorrow? I think she should get to know her great Uncle better.

Mike: Not a problem Sean. All I want is a mutual relationship between you and me.

Sean: Well, I'll do my best to give you that.

Old Marsh residence.

Randy was knocking on the door desperately.

Walt answered.

Walter: What is it Randy?

Randy: Walt, I need you to hide me.

Walter: From what?

Randy: The scary Salamanca cousins, they're on my ass and I need somewhere to hide. You've gotten away from them before, how did you do it?

Walter: I ran as fast as I could. But no matter where you hide or run, they'll find you. Randy, you're on your own.

Randy: Walt, please!

Walter: Get the fuck off my porch Marsh.

Randy: Walt I-

Walt points a gun at Randy's crotch.

Walter: I'm warning you.

Randy: You're planning to shoot my dick off? Not cool bro.

Walter: Than get off my porch.

Randy: When I disappear, I'll crank call you everyday.

Walter closes the door on Randy.

Later.

Broflovski and Goodman's.

Saul and Gerald were drinking coffee together.

Randy ran into the office.

Gerald: Randy! Shouldn't you be waiting in the waiting room?

Randy: Your receptionist didn't bother to stop me.

Saul: Dammit, Sandra! I said no breaks!

Sandra (off-screen): Whatever.

Saul: What do you want Randy?

Randy: Saul, I need you to hide me. Because the Salamancas are on my ass.

Saul: No! No! I'm not helping!

Gerald: Why Saul? Randy's our client.

Saul: He killed a Salamanca, there's no escape from that.

Randy: Aww come on! They'll obviously find me at my house.

Saul: It's your mess, obviously you have to clean it.

Gerald: Hold on, I got an idea.

Later.

The sewer.

Randy and Gerald were walking around in it.

Randy: Why am I in the sewer?

Gerald: I think it's best you hide here.

Randy: Why?

Gerald: Because the sewer is the last place anyone will look for anybody.

Randy: But what am I going to eat?

Gerald: Obviously rats.

Randy: Well, alright I guess the sewer's the safest place to be.

Gerald: Exactly.

Gerald starts to climb his way out of the sewer.

Gerald: And be careful of the sewer monsters.

Gerald laughed.

Gerald exited the sewer.

Randy: Ha ha. Very funny Gerald.

But behind Randy were two Crab People.

Crab person 1: Are they onto us?

Crab person 2: No. But it's safe to not intervene just in case.

Tegridy Farms.

Stan and Shelly were watching TV together.

Sharon entered the house.

Shelly: Where have you been?

Sharon: A long process of thinking.

Stan: Ok.

Sharon: Kids, family meeting.

Later.

Sharon: Kids, I've been doing some thinking and I think I should divorce your father, I mean it's been stressful for all of us ever since we moved to the farm. He's turned into a monster I cannot control. I hope it doesn't upset you two.

Stan and Shelly stare at each other.

Shelly: It's about damn time.

Stan: Finally.

Towelie enters the kitchen.

Towelie: That means I get to do this.

Towelie pulls a piece of string from the ceiling.

A banner with the words Sharon's gonna divorce Randy appears along with confetti and balloons falling to the floor.

Stan: When did you set this up?

Towelie: I set it up four months ago.

Towelie stands around looking at his watch.

Towelie: I feel like something's missing for this celebration.

Sharon: Wait, you wanted me and Randy to get a divorce? Why?

Towelie: No offence, but you're a nagging bitch.

Sharon: Oh.

Stan: So if you get the divorce? What will happen?

Sharon: We'll get to move back to South Park.

Shelly: Finally!

Suddenly a corpse fell from the ceiling and landed on the table.

Stan, Shelly and Sharon screamed.

Towelie: Oh that's what was missing. Pauley Shore's corpse.

Meanwhile.

Leonel and Marco enter the premises of Tegridy Farms.

They start to make their way to the porch.

They scan the area and see nothing.

Leonel and Marco stand on the porch.

Leonel stood on the side of the door whilst Marco stood on the front.

Leonel and Marco pulls their guns out of their pockets.

Marco was about to force the door open until he hears a gun clicking.

He sees Mike holding a gun to Leonel's head.

Mike: Don't.

Marco points his gun at Mike.

Mike: I wouldn't pull the trigger if I were you sunshine. I know why you're here. You're looking for Randy Marsh. Well I hate to tell ya, he ain't here.

Marco (Speaking Spanish): Where is he?

Mike: I don't know where he is. No matter how much you threaten me or torture me, you're not gonna get an answer because I don't know where he is. He's not home.

Marco continues to point his gun at Mike.

Mike: Go ahead, pull the trigger. It's gonna be one helluva risk. Because the people who reside here are inside, sleeping and once they hear gunshots and see a dead old man on the porch, chances are they'll call the cops and they will find you.

Marco, Leonel and Mike all stare at each other with intimidation in their eyes.

Leonel and Marco conceal their weapons and exit the porch.

Whilst Mike just stood on the porch, watching as Leonel and Marco get back into their car.

Towelie approaches Mike.

Towelie: Hey asshole! Get off my porch!


	13. The Heart

We open at Broflovski and Goodman's.

Saul and Gerald were in their office watching the TV.

Gerald: Do you think Sharon will do it?

Saul: It's obvious Gerald she will.

Gerald: Who will you be standing up for during the trial?

Saul: I wanna do Sharon.

Gerald: Same.

Saul: Rock, Paper, Scissors?

Saul and Gerald: Rock, Paper, Scissors.

Saul got scissors, whilst Gerald got paper.

Gerald: Dammit.

Saul: Looks like I'm getting the winner.

Announcer on the TV: _We interrupt this broadcast for a breaking news report._

Saul: Dammit.

Gerald: If it's about Garrison again than I'm switching it off.

They watch the TV, but their eyes widened in shock once they see something shocking.

Gerald: No! No! No! No!

Saul: That's what Randy gets for fucking with the Salamancas.

* * *

Intro

Starring

Randy Marsh

Bryan Cranston

Towelie

Aaron Paul

Giancarlo Esposito

Sharon Marsh

Gerald Broflovski

Bob Odenkirk

Jonathan Banks

Stan Marsh

Shelly Marsh

Title card shows up.

Breaking Tegridy.

* * *

Downtown South Park.

Towelie was sitting at the bus stop getting high on weed.

Towelie: Man, this is the best weed Randy's ever made.

The Salamanca cousins sat next to Towelie.

Leonel sat right next to Towelie on his left, whilst Marco sat next to Towelie on his right.

It took a few moments for Towelie to notice them.

Towelie: Oh I know you two. You're the badass looking cousins.

Leonel shows Towelie a photo of Randy.

Towelie: Oh. You wanna know where Randy is?

Leonel nods.

Towelie: I don't know where he is. I'm pretty sure he told me, but I was too high to listen.

Marco was about to punch Towelie, but Leonel stares at Marco signalling to him that it isn't worth it.

Leonel (Speaking Spanish): He's just a towel.

Towelie (Speaking Spanish): You're a towel.

Leonel and Marco were about to get off the bench.

Towelie: Word of advice fellas, ask Randy's lawyer Gerald he might tell you where he is.

Marco and Leonel stare at each other.

Marco (Speaking Spanish): Thank you towel.

Towelie: You're a towel.

Tegridy Farms.

Sharon and Shelly were in the living room.

Shelly was grabbing her things.

Sharon: Shelly, me and your father aren't getting the divorce yet. I'm just waiting till he gets home so I can tell him face to face.

Shelly: I'm just preparing things for when we're leaving because I know it's gonna happen.

Suddenly Sharon's phone started ringing.

Sharon answered.

Sharon: Hello.

Randy: Hey Sharon.

Sharon: Randy! Where are you? I want us to talk.

Randy: I'm in the sewer.

Shelly: How is he finding good coverage in the sewer?

Sharon: How are you-

Randy: Oh, the crab people are helping me with that.

The Crab People have set up a radio satellite so Randy could use his phone.

Sharon: Why are you hiding in the sewer?

Randy: Some people got pissed off with me and I'm hiding in the sewer until things have cooled down.

Sharon: Oh. Couldn't you just talk to them?

Randy: It's complicated.

Sharon: Oh. But once you get out of the sewer, can we talk?

Randy: Ok. I'll see ya once things have cooled down.

Randy hangs up.

Crab Person 1: She wants a divorce.

Crab Person 2: Definitely divorce.

Broflovski and Goodman's.

Gerald and Saul were screwing up pieces of paper and trying to throw them into the trash can.

Saul throws one and it lands in the trash can.

Saul: Nailed it.

Suddenly Leonel and Marco enter the office.

Saul: Dammit Sandra!

Sandra (Off Screen): Fuck you!

Gerald: How can we help you gentlemen? My name is Gerald and this is Saul.

Leonel and Marco approach Gerald.

Marco shows the photo of Randy.

Gerald: I don't know where he is. Despite him being my client.

Leonel aims his gun at Gerald's head.

Gerald screamed.

Gerald: I swear I don't know where he is! I swear! Ask his boss Gus Fring.

Leonel and Marco stare at each other.

Marco (Speaking Spanish): So that's who he abandoned us for?

Leonel concealed his weapon.

Leonel and Marco exit the office.

Gerald: Phew.

Saul: So what did you do with Randy?

Gerald: I hid him in the sewers.

Saul: The sewers?

Gerald: Yeah.

Saul: Boy he's gonna smell like flowers once he gets out.

Gerald and Saul laugh.

Old Marsh residence.

Walt and Jesse were making Blue Sky in the meth lab.

Jesse and Walt removed their gas masks.

Badger enters the lab.

Badger: Yo.

Walter: Hi Badger.

Jesse: Yo.

Badger: You seen Randy Marsh anywhere?

Jesse: No, why ask?

Badger: I wanted to see if I could get Los Pollos Hermanos.

Jesse: You're buying from that bitch?!

Badger: Hey, I smoke weed as well. I can do meth and weed.

Walter: By my guess, the Salamancas have gotten him.

Badger: I've seen them throughout town, they asked that talking towel about his whereabouts and he said he doesn't know. So Marsh has disappeared.

Jesse: Good. He destroyed my home and now he's working with the son of a bitch who nearly killed Brock.

Walter: I know Jesse, I know.

Badger: It's pretty fucked up he poisoned a kid.

Walter: He wanted to send a message to Jesse and he did.

Badger: What are we gonna do about him Mr White?

Walter: Like I said to Jesse, we leave him to whatever he's doing.

Badger: Killing and making chicken?

Walter: Exactly.

Los Pollos Hermanos.

Gus' office.

Gus was cleaning his desk, when Leonel and Marco entered the office.

Gus smiled.

Gus: Gentleman, what can I do for you?

Leonel shows the photo of Randy Marsh.

Gus: I don't know where he is, but I can tell you how you could lure him to you.

Leonel and Marco stare at Gus confused.

Gus: I know he works for me, but he messed with you and messing with you is no longer any of my business. I do have advice how you could lure him. Attack the heart. Attack something only he cares about.

Leonel and Marco stare at Gus for a minute.

Leonel and Marco exit the office.

Gus: His time will come eventually.

South Park elementary.

Mike was parked outside the school waiting for Wendy.

Wendy enters the car.

Wendy: Hey Uncle Mike.

Mike: Hi sweetie. How was school?

Wendy: School was fine. I had a history lesson about Al Capone and Elliot Ness-

As Wendy was talking, Mike was watching Stan walk down the street and noticed the Salamanca cousins following him.

Mike had fear in his face.

Wendy:...Overall a good day.

Mike was more concentrated on what Leonel and Marco were doing.

Wendy: Uncle Mike?

Mike started the car and started to follow the Salamancas.

Wendy: Uncle Mike, what are you doing? Why are you following Stan?

Suddenly Leonel and Marco pull their guns out and start shooting.

Mike: Run Stan!

Stan started to run as soon as he heard the gunshots.

But a bullet hit Stan in the leg.

Wendy: Oh my God!

Mike: Open the glove compartment!

Wendy: Why?

Mike: Just open it!

Meanwhile.

Stan was trying to run for his life, despite his leg bleeding.

Suddenly another bullet hits Stan in the shoulder and than his back.

Stan than fell to the ground.

Stan was struggling to get up as Leonel and Marco start to approach him.

Leonel and Marco point their guns at Stan.

Stan: I've been shot two times before this, I'll make it you'll see.

Leonel and Marco cock their guns.

Stan closed his eyes and prepared for the worst.

But all of a sudden another gun shot was heard.

Mike shot Leonel on both of his legs and Leonel collapsed to the ground.

Mike tried to shoot Marco and he missed.

Mike shot Marco in the shoulder.

Mike tried to shoot Marco again, but he missed.

Marco hid behind a tree.

Mike: Wendy, call an ambulance!

Mike was slowly approaching the tree.

Mike: Marco! We can make things easier.

Mike approached the tree.

All of a sudden Marco popped out of his hiding placed and shot Mike two times in the chest.

Mike collapsed.

Marco approached Mike's body.

Marco (Speaking Spanish): Too easy.

Marco examined his body further and realised there wasn't any blood on his chest.

Marco stood confused.

All of a sudden, Mike opened his eyes and fired his gun at Marco.

The bullet hit Marco in the head, killing him instantly.

Mike got up and removed his jacket to reveal he was wearing a bulletproof vest.

Mike removed the bullets that were lodged in the vest.

Mike approached Stan.

Stan was unconscious.

Mike: Stan, if you can hear me we're gonna get you to a hospital!

Mike shook Stan.

Mike: Stan! Stan! Stan!

Mike repeatedly shook Stan.

Mike: Stan! Stan! Stan!


	14. Moments

We open to Wendy in the car panicking.

Wendy: No. No. No. He can't be dead.

Mike opened the door to the backseat of the car and laid Stan on the seats.

Mike: Wendy, I suggest you get in the back seat to keep Stan company.

Wendy got out of the passenger seat and sat in the back seat.

Wendy: What are we doing with Stan?

Mike: Taking him to the hospital.

Wendy: But I called an ambulance.

Mike: Stan's bleeding pretty bad. I'm taking him to the hospital.

Mike starts the car and starts to drive as fast as he can.

Mike: The ambulance is for the son of a bitch I shot.

Mike continued to drive.

Stan was starting to breathe but very slowly.

Wendy: Stan, you ok?

Stan coughed some blood.

Some of the blood ended up in Wendy's face.

Wendy: We're taking you to the hospital, you're gonna be ok Stan.

Stan just did heavy breathing.

Wendy started to tear up.

Wendy: Stan, please don't die.

* * *

Intro

Starring

Randy Marsh

Bryan Cranston

Towelie

Aaron Paul

Giancarlo Esposito

Sharon Marsh

Gerald Broflovski

Bob Odenkirk

Jonathan Banks

Wendy Testaburger

Stan Marsh

Shelly Marsh

Title card shows up.

Breaking Tegridy.

* * *

Hell's Pass Hospital.

Mike parked his car up outside the hospital.

He grabbed Stan from back and started to carry him inside.

Mike and Wendy ran into the hospital.

Receptionist: Can we help you?

Mike: This kid's been shot.

Receptionist: Was it another school shooting? (Sigh) put him in the school shooting room.

Mike: No! This kid needs medical attention you fucks!

Later.

Stan was on the operating table with doctors operating on him.

Doctor: Scalpel.

The nurse gives the doctor a scalpel.

Nurse: We're losing him.

The doctor removes the bullet from Stan's shoulder.

In the waiting area.

Mike was sitting on a chair with Wendy next to him.

Wendy had a worrisome look on her face.

Mike notices the look on Wendy's face.

Mike: He's gonna be alright.

Wendy: You don't know that.

Mike: You're right I don't.

Wendy: What were you doing with a gun in the glove compartment?

Mike: Defence.

Wendy: Uh Huh. And for a guy who works for Gus Fring he has some great aim.

Mike: I was a cop, aiming at the target was a major part of my job. Are you trying to find a way to make me look like a bad guy?

Wendy: I also heard you call out to one of the guys who almost killed Stan. His name was Marco.

Mike: Alright, back in Albuquerque I worked for Gus Fring on assignments. Those include shipping, spying, learning tactics for rivals, cleaning up crime scenes, removing evidence of drug use and at the time, assassinations. I knew Marco and his brother when Gus had meetings with the Salamancas. Gus and the Salamancas have a very historical rivalry, but I don't want to go into that. So long story short, I've killed a lot of people. I don't care what you think of me Wendy, you can tell your mother or father if you want.

Wendy sighed.

Wendy: Uncle Mike, I have never seen Mom this happy in a long time. I know you aren't a bad person, you just get hired to do someone's dirty deeds.

Mike: Well at least somebody doesn't think of me as a monster.

Wendy: I'm just more worried about Stan.

Suddenly Kyle and his Dad ran into the waiting area.

Kyle: How is he?

Mike: He's gonna be alright. The doctors are saying he's not ready for visitors yet. We might as well wait here. What are we gonna tell his mother?

Gerald: I already told her, she's coming in a minute.

Mike: What about his Dad?

Gerald: I told Saul to tell him.

Mike: Where has Randy been hiding?

Gerald: The sewers.

Mike: The sewers? Why didn't any of the Salamanca's victims ever thought of that?

Walt and Jesse enter the waiting area.

Jesse: We saw the news. Is he o-

Walt and Jesse notice Mike.

Walter: Mike?

Mike: Hi Walt. It's been a while.

Wendy: Wait, you two know each other?

Mike: We worked together in Albuquerque, until he betrayed my boss.

Walter: Well you know what your boss is.

Jesse: And you know what he did to Brock.

Mike: You have no evidence to suggest he poisoned Brock.

Jesse: It's obvious Mike!

Jesse and Walt sit down.

Jesse: So where are the sons of bitches who did it?

Mike: One got shot dead and the other's in hospital, I think.

Kyle: And how do you know this?

Mike realised that Kyle didn't know his secret, so he cooked up another lie.

Mike: Me and Wendy arrived at the scene of the crime moments later. Some guy saved Stan, I don't know who.

Wendy stares at Mike.

Wendy: Yeah.

Sharon and Shelly enter the room.

Sharon: Where is he?! Where's my baby?!

Mike grabs a hold of Sharon.

Mike: Sharon. Sharon. Sharon.

Sharon: Get off me!

Mike: Listen Sharon, my name is Mike. I'm the one who took your son to the hospital.

Sharon stares at Mike for a bit before hugging him.

Sharon: Thank you.

Sharon stops hugging Mike.

Mike went to sit back down.

Shelly: Where's Dad?

Saul and Randy were now in the waiting area.

Saul: He's right here and smells of rat shit.

Randy: Hey, I took a shower before I got here.

Saul: Not a good one.

Sharon: Where the hell have you been?!

Kyle: I'm going to the bathroom.

Kyle got out of his seat and left the waiting room.

Randy: Hiding remember?

Sharon: I wanted us to talk and now here you are. You had to show up on the day our son almost got killed.

Wendy: Mrs Marsh, it's not his fault, you're trying to make out that it is.

As Wendy spoke, Mike got out of his seat, approached Randy and punched him in his face.

Everyone gasped.

Randy: What was that for dick?!

Mike: You fucked with the Salamancas and look where this has ended in. Your son is in the hospital. None of this wouldn't have happened if you didn't kill Tuco.

Sharon: What?!

Shelly: I knew there was something suspicious about that funeral car.

Randy: Well none of this wouldn't have happened if that dick didn't show up.

Walter: What do I have to do with the fact your son almost died?

Jesse: Well maybe he wouldn't have gotten the Salamanca's attention if he didn't blow up my RV.

Randy: Well maybe I wouldn't have blown up your RV if you weren't a stupid pathetic stoner.

Jesse was about to attack Randy but Walt held him back.

Jesse: Bitch! Let me at him!

Walter: Jesse! This is not gonna change anything!

Jesse returned to his seat.

Mike: I'll be right back.

Wendy: Where are you going Uncle Mike?

Mike: I'm just going to deal with something, I'll be back.

Mike exited the waiting room.

Randy: Yeah! Fuck you too! What was it you wanted to talk about?

Sharon: Randy I-

Suddenly Randy's phone started to go off.

Randy: Hold on!

Randy answered the phone.

Randy: Hello?

_Gus: Randy, we have good news. We've made over 10 thousand dollars in sale of your weed._

Randy: Ten thousand dollars?

_Towelie: I'm with Gus, this calls for a celebration. We're having a party at Los Pollos Hermanos._

Randy: Yeah! This calls for a celebration! I'll be right-

Sharon walks up to Randy and grabs his phone and throws it to the floor.

Randy: Hey!

Sharon: I want a divorce!

Randy: What?

Sharon: I want a divorce!

Randy: Why?

Sharon: Ever since you started that farming business you have been ignoring us! Treating us like we're your servants! You never want to show up for Stan's band performances, you put business first! You forced our children to wear ridiculous T-shirts! You killed a bunch of people! You blew up backyards! You legalised cocaine! Randy you're a monster!

Randy: Well, fuck you Sharon! I'm not a monster, I'm a businessman. You never support me in my business. And ever since I started this farm, I've been making money for all of us!

Sharon: No! You weren't doing it for your family, you were doing it for you!

Randy: I tried to be there!

Shelly: You didn't show up for my birthday, Dad!

Randy: Stay out of this Shelly!

Sharon: No, Shelly should have a say in this as well and if Stan were here right now he would also have a say!

Randy: What would he say?

Sharon: He wants to get off the farm.

Randy: He says it everyday, he just doesn't understand what I'm trying to do.

Sharon: You do Randy, but all the knowledge of weed farming is making you dumber!

Jesse: Is it just me or does this seem a little familiar?

Walt could only stare at the argument.

Randy: I've got all this money, so you could buy the shit all you women buy.

Wendy and Shelly stare at Randy with anger in their eyes.

Shelly: Oh I'm gonna kill him.

Sharon: You use that money on stupid business ideas!

Randy: They aren't stupid Sharon! I have enough money to fuck 56 prostitutes!

Sharon glares at Randy.

Randy: Try and think of a comeback to that bitch!

Sharon glares at Randy.

Sharon: I fucked Walt.

Everyone, except for Saul and Gerald sat on their seats shocked.

Saul: She was bound to tell him at some point.

Randy: What?

Sharon: I fucked Walt.

Randy: It's some joke right?

Sharon: It's not a joke. I F-U-C-K-E-D Walt! I fucked Walt.

Walter: Sharon, what the hell are you doing?

Randy: No, what the hell were you doing Walt?

Walter: Randy I can explain-

Randy: I don't care!

Gerald: She came to him.

Saul: That we know.

Randy: You two knew! Gerald you're my lawyer, you should've told me.

Gerald: I can have more than one client Randy.

Randy: Saul, I need you as-

Saul: I've been taken by her dude.

Randy: What?! This is insane!

Randy just couldn't shake the thought of his wife cheating on him out of his head and than having the best lawyer take her side.

Walter places his hand on Randy's shoulder.

Walter: Randy I-

Randy punches Walt.

Randy was about to punch Walt again, but Walt grabbed Randy by the shoulders.

Sharon: You two stop it!

Randy and Walt threw themselves onto the floor with Randy on top of him.

Randy was about to punch him again, but Jesse tackled Randy to the ground.

Randy kicked Jesse off of him.

Jesse: Bitch!

Walt punched Randy in the face.

All of a sudden a glass mug hits the wall grabbing everyone's attention.

Shelly: What the fuck is wrong with you?! You're all acting like assholes! My brother's probably dying on the operating table and all you can do is fucking fight?! Dad you are a monster and you fucking know it! Ever since moving out to that farm, I have never been this depressed, embarrassed and bullied before! But what do you do? You lock me up in prison for hating marijuana!

Shelly throws a chair out of the window.

Shelly falls to the floor and starts tearing up.

Shelly (Crying): I know I've never said this before, but my brother, my little baby brother might die and I've never been this scared in my life! I know I've bullied him before, but he's my brother I love him! And I doubt this whole town will be the same without him! So all of you can grow up and be there for him!

Shelly starts crying.

Randy and Sharon stare at the sight.

Sharon: Oh baby. I'm so sorry.

Sharon went to Shelly and starts hugging her.

Sharon: I'm here sweetie.

Shelly starts crying into her shoulder.

Wendy had tears rolling down her face as well.

Walt was watching them hug and a tear fell down his face.

Walter: Jesse.

Jesse: Mr White?

Walter: Come on.

Walt and Jesse left the waiting area.

Randy was staring at Shelly and Sharon hugging each other.

Randy: Fuck you too Shelly! I'm glad we're getting the divorce Sharon! Fuck all of you! Fuck you Saul, fuck you Gerald, fuck you Wendy I know you didn't do anything but fuck you, fuck you Shelly and fuck you Sharon!

Randy left the waiting area.

Outside the waiting area, Randy walked around the hospital for a bit until he went to a bathroom and locked himself in a stall.

Randy sits down on a toilet and starts to tear up himself.

Randy continued crying as he looked around the stall he purposely locked himself in.


	15. Last Job

We open to Mike exiting the waiting area.

(A/N: This is set at around the same time as Randy and Sharon's argument from Moments).

Mike walks around the hospital until he finds one of the patient rooms.

Mike approaches a nurse.

Mike: Excuse me, is he ready for visitors?

Nurse: Yes, he is.

Mike: Thank you.

Mike enters the patient's room and sees Gus and Towelie.

Mike: Gus? Towelie? What are you doing here?

Towelie: I don't know where I am. I'm way too high on this Los Pollos Hermanos.

Gus: I'm assuming the same reason as you Mike. Visiting a patient.

The patient they were visiting was Leonel.

Gus: Why did you attack a Salamanca?

Mike: Isn't it obvious Gus? He and his brother were attacking my grand niece's boyfriend, who just so happens to be Randy's son.

Gus: I know. I knew about him being the son of Randy, but I didn't know he was your grand niece's boyfriend.

Mike: She was pretty devastated and I was pretty pissed off with Randy about it.

Gus: Mike, let me handle Leonel, you go home.

Mike: Mr Fring I-

Gus: Let me handle the negotiations.

Mike: Fine. And also, I want out.

Gus: Why?

Mike: Because of what Randy did, I refuse to be around him and I know you'll continue working for him. Even though at some point he'll do something that'll put you and I and your restaurant in danger.

Gus: What about your money? Your lively hood your-

Mike: I'll think of something.

Mike was about to leave.

Gus: Mr Ehrmantraut, before you leave I need you to do one more task for me.

Mike: Go on.

Gus: I'll give you the details tomorrow and besides, I think your niece needs you right now.

Mike: Yeah, I'm her ride home.

They notice Randy walking past the room.

Mike: I wonder what's happened with him?

Gus: Hopefully there's an answer to it. But, be there for your niece.

Mike leaves the patient room.

Gus approaches Leonel.

Leonel wakes up and glares at Gus.

Gus: Hello Leonel. I see you took my advice of attacking the heart, I would've killed you and your brother in my office, but I didn't want your Uncle's goons after me. But since your attempt was to get Randy out of his hiding place and once you're out of the hospital, you'll try again, won't you?

Gus grabs a pillow.

Gus: Shocking fact is, you're never gonna have that chance again.

Gus places the pillow on Leonel's face and starts to smother him to death.

Leonel was struggling and at one point grabbed Gus, but he was too weak to make Gus let go of the pillow.

After a minute of struggling, Leonel finally stopped struggling.

Gus removed the pillow and places his hand on Leonel's neck to check his pulse.

There was nothing.

Gus: Pleasure doing business.

Gus leaves the patient room.

Towelie approaches the dead body.

Towelie pops some weed into his mouth.

Towelie: You just need some Tegridy.

* * *

Intro

Starring

Randy Marsh

Bryan Cranston

Towelie

Aaron Paul

Giancarlo Esposito

Sharon Marsh

Gerald Broflovski

Bob Odenkirk

Jonathan Banks

Wendy Testaburger

Stan Marsh

Shelly Marsh

Title card shows up.

Breaking Tegridy.

* * *

Patient room.

Shelly and Sharon were at Stan's bedside.

Sharon: I'm gonna get something from the vending machine Shelly, do you want anything?

Shelly: My brother to wake up.

Sharon: So do I Shelly. I'll just get you some coke.

Sharon left the patient room to go to the vending machine.

Shelly just got her phone out and started playing on it.

Shelly played on it for a bit until...

Voice: Where's Mom?

Shelly heard a familiar voice that made her heart sink.

Stan: Shelly? Where's Dad as well?

Shelly saw that her little brother had finally woken up.

Shelly jumped to her brother and started hugging him.

Stan: What? Shelly what-

Shelly: Shut up, you turd.

Shelly started tearing up.

Stan hugged Shelly back.

Shelly: We're gonna be ok Stan.

Stan: Don't you mean "You're"?

Shelly: No, "We're".

Stan: What do you mean by that?

Shelly: Mom and Dad are getting a divorce.

Stan: Is this a dream?

Shelly punched Stan.

Stan: Ow! That-Wait, this isn't a dream. Mom and Dad, are getting the divorce!

Stan hugged Shelly again.

Shelly: Stop hugging me turd!

Stan was confused at first, but than noticed that his Mom was there with two cans of coke in her hand.

Sharon dropped the cans.

Stan: Mom, what's wrong with Shelly?

Sharon started to tear up.

Broflovski and Goodman's.

Randy was in the office.

Saul: I really hate to be your enemy Gerald.

Gerald: Same here.

Saul: Will you use the "make the monster sympathetic plan"?

Gerald: I don't know. But if you win, I'll be buying the drinks.

Saul: No, I'll be.

Randy: Saul, can you leave me and Gerald to discuss what we're gonna do when the trial comes around?

Saul: Of course, my apologies.

Saul left the office.

Randy: So you're gonna use your-

Gerald: Yes I am. Do you want full custody of the kids?

Randy: I don't know. I feel like I could use some extra hands in the weed business, but wouldn't that be classed as child labour?

Gerald: Well, they are your kids Randy.

Randy: I know.

Gerald: Look, I will do my best to make sure you get full custody of the children Randy. I promise.

Randy: Thanks Gerald. Fuck Sharon, I'm gonna get my kids.

Gerald: That's the spirit Randy!

Testaburger residence.

Mike was playing Monopoly with Wendy and her family.

Mike rolled the dice and moved his piece.

Mike: Aww, I got jail time.

Sean: Sucks for you Mike.

Deborah: Your turn Wendy.

Wendy couldn't help but stare at Mike's piece in the jail cell.

Deborah: Wendy? Wendy?

Sean: Wendy? You ok?

Wendy snapped back into reality.

Wendy: Yeah. Sorry, I phased out.

Wendy rolled the dice.

Suddenly a phone started going off.

Mike: Sorry, I gotta take this.

Mike exited the room and answered his phone.

Mike: Hello?

_Gus: I'm calling you about your last job._

Mike: What's the last job?

_Gus: According to some sources, Hector is hiding out in a safe house near Whistlin' Willy's. I was wondering if you could take care of him._

Mike: How well guarded is he?

_Gus: He hasn't got a lot of guards due to the massacre at the warehouse. I say around 5._

Mike: Alright Gus, I'll do it. As long as you promise I'll be out.

_Gus: I promise._

Mike: Ok Gus. I'll call you back.

Mike hangs up.

Mike enters the kitchen again.

Deborah: Who was that on the phone Uncle Mike?

Mike: Just work sweetie, listen do you mind if I split? Work called and it's my last day.

Deborah: Not a problem. Anyway, would you mind driving Wendy to the hospital? Stan just woke up and she would like to visit him.

Mike: What about you?

Deborah: We'd love to, but we're kind of busy. I got a town meeting and Sean's got work.

Mike: Alright, I'll do it. Come on Wendy.

Wendy got out of her chair and followed Mike.

Later.

Mike and Wendy were in the car on their way to the hospital.

Wendy: So, what was that call about?

Mike: Last job.

Wendy: With what?

Mike: Gonna take care of the Uncle of the cousins who shot Stan.

Wendy: Oh. When you say take care of him, do you mean?

Mike: I don't know Wendy.

Wendy: Listen Uncle Mike, when you see their Uncle. Kill him for me. For Stan. Kill him.

Mike just stared off into the distance, he didn't know if he should kill him for Wendy and Stan or let him live.

Old Marsh residence.

Walt and Jesse just finished making more Blue Sky.

Jesse: You heard Stan's woke up?

Walter: Yeah. I did. And I'm glad he's ok.

Jesse: I'm glad that Randy's getting a divorce, he doesn't deserve Sharon, Mr White. Maybe you could have the chance to be with her. I mean you and her did sl-

Walter: I don't want to talk about it Jesse.

Jesse: Why Mr White? Now that Sharon and Randy are getting a divorce, you and her can have sex all you want.

Walter: Do you wanna know something Jesse? When Randy and Sharon were having that argument, I didn't see Sharon and Randy. I saw me and Skyler. So I don't know if I should be with Sharon, Jesse. Because I'm scared that what happened with Skyler might happen with her. And I don't want that at all.

Jesse: Oh. Sucks for you.

Jesse started smoking some weed.

Walter: What is that?

Jesse: Weed.

Walter: I know that. You decide to smoke weed after I said I didn't wanna be with Sharon?

Jesse: It's not just weed Mr White, it's the Los Pollos Hermanos. Best weed I ever smoked yo.

Jesse smoked more of the weed.

Jesse: Me and Badger have been smoking this stuff for a few days and it is the bomb yo.

Suddenly Jesse, grabbed his stomach.

Walter: Jesse? You ok?

Jesse: Yeah, it's just a stomach-

Suddenly a wet fart sound was heard.

Jesse: Oh bitch!

Jesse ran out of the basement.

Walter: Jesse? Jesse, you ok?

Meanwhile.

Hell's Pass Hospital.

Wendy enters the patients room.

Wendy: Stan!

Wendy jumped onto the bed and hugged Stan.

Stan hugged her back.

Wendy kissed Stan on the cheek.

Wendy: I'm glad you're ok Stan.

Stan: I know Wendy.

Wendy: How are you doing?

Stan: I feel great. Thanks for saving me and tell your Uncle Mike the same.

Wendy sees Shelly outside the patient room.

Wendy: I'll be back.

Wendy walks over to Shelly.

Wendy: How are you holding up?

Shelly: Great, knowing that my brother's alive.

Wendy: I haven't seen you that concerned over him before.

Shelly: Despite me bullying him, I still love him Wendy, just as much as you do. He's my brother Wendy and I'm gonna be there for him.

Wendy: So am I Shelly.

Wendy and Shelly reenter the patient room.

The doctor enters the patient room with a clipboard.

Sharon: How well is he doing Doctor? Can he come home?

The doctor sighed.

Doctor: Mrs Marsh, he can. But there's bad news.

Shelly: What is it?

Doctor: I'm afraid one of the bullets caused his leg muscles to stop working.

Stan: What does that mean?

Wendy started to have tears in her eyes.

Wendy: It means Stan, you're handicapped.

Stan: I'm what?

Doctor: I'm sorry. But I'm afraid, you'll never be able to walk again.

Sharon started crying and sat on a chair, whilst Shelly was shocked and Wendy just hugged Stan.

Sharon (Crying): Oh my poor baby! My poor baby!

Shelly: What am I supposed to hit now?

Doctor: But good news is, his dick still works.

Stan: I don't care about that! I'm never gonna walk again!

Stan than started tearing up and hugging Wendy.

Doctor: Jeez, I'm never allowed to brighten the mood around here.

Meanwhile.

Mike parked up outside the safe house.

Mike opened the glove compartment and grabbed his silencer.

Mike exited the car.

Mike walked up to the door and knocked on it.

A guy answered.

Guard: Yes?

Mike grabbed the guy and wrapped his arm around his neck.

Mike points the gun to the guard's head.

Mike: How many?

Guard: Five including me.

Mike: Now it's four.

Mike shoots the guard in the head.

Mike entered the safe house and walked upstairs.

Another guard popped out of nowhere and aimed his gun at Mike, but Mike shot him in the neck before he could fire off a shot.

Mike walked through another door and killed two more guards by shooting them in the head.

Mike continued walking and found Hector looking out of the window.

Mike threw a rock at the wall which grabbed another guards attention.

The guard came out of his hiding place and Mike shot him in the head.

Mike approaches Hector.

Hector notices Mike and does an evil glare at him.

Mike: Hello Hector.

Los Pollos Hermanos.

Gus was in his office finishing a phone call when the phone started ringing again.

Gus answered it.

Gus: Hello?...Is it done?...Good...The Salamancas won't be a problem to us any longer...You'll get your 8 grand tomorrow Mike...I'll see you tomorrow.

Gus hangs up his phone.

Suddenly his phone started ringing again.

Gus answered it.

Gus: Hello?...An incident?...Strange this is the 4th time I've had someone complain about the Los Pollos Hermanos giving customers very bad diarrhoea (Suddenly Gus came to a realisation) Tell them it's not my fault...And I'm gonna kill the one behind this mess.


	16. La Diarrea

We open to Mike approaching Hector.

**(A/N: Set around the same time as the ending to Last Job).**

Hector notices Mike and does an evil glare at him.

Mike: Hello Hector.

Mike dials a number on his phone.

Mike: Hi Gus...Yes, I've dealt with him...Yeah...When do I get my money?...Alright I'll see you tomorrow.

Hector does an evil glare at Mike.

Mike: Don't worry, I'm not gonna kill you. I've got other plans for you.

* * *

Intro

Starring

Randy Marsh

Bryan Cranston

Towelie

Aaron Paul

Giancarlo Esposito

Sharon Marsh

Gerald Broflovski

Bob Odenkirk

Jonathan Banks

Wendy Testaburger

Stan Marsh

Shelly Marsh

Title card shows up.

Breaking Tegridy.

* * *

After the intro, we see Randy and Towelie in the car.

The car was being driven by Randy.

Towelie: So, you two are finally getting a divorce?

Randy: Well 3rd time's the charm.

Towelie: What about the farm? Who are we gonna get to help around?

Randy: I don't know. Maybe I could put job offers online.

Towelie: What if we get somebody like Tuco working for us?

Randy: We fire him.

Towelie: Sounds reasonable.

Suddenly a car collided with the car Randy and Towelie were in.

Randy and Towelie were unconscious.

Randy had a few cuts on his face, whilst Towelie didn't have a scratch.

Suddenly a few guys pulled Randy and Towelie out of their car.

They put a bag over Randy's head and put him in the car.

Guy 1: How are we gonna get this bag over the towel's head?

Towelie: You're a towel and give me some weed, it'll make me clueless to where we're going.

Towelie takes a puff of the weed.

The guys shrug it off and put Towelie in the car.

Randy: Where are you taking us?

Driver: To our boss. He likes his meetings to be in open spaces.

Randy: Where's that?

Guy 2: Middle of nowhere.

Driver: No, you're supposed to be keeping it secret.

Randy: Where is the middle of nowhere?

Guy 2: T-

Driver: Don't say a word.

Old Marsh residence.

Walt was standing outside the bathroom waiting.

Walter: Are you done?

Jesse exits the bathroom.

Jesse: Yeah I-

Jesse grabs his stomach.

Jesse: Hold on.

Jesse runs back into the bathroom.

Wet fart sounds were heard.

Jesse: Aaaaahhhhhhh! Bitch!

Walter goes back down to his lab studying the weed.

Walter: Hmm. Interesting.

Walt continues looking through the microscope.

Badger enters the lab.

Badger: Hi Mr White.

Walter: Have a look at this Badger.

Badger: What is it?

Walter: Just look.

Badger looks through the microscope.

Badger: What is this?

Walter: The Los Pollos Hermanos. It has Tegridy weed and a lot more ingredients. Have you had any cases of diarrhoea this morning?

Badger: Yes. I went to the bathroom 5 times.

Badger grabs his stomach.

Badger: Uh oh.

Badger runs out of the basement.

Walter: The bathroom's taken by Jesse.

Badger (Off-Screen): I'll use the backyard.

Walter: No not the-

Wet fart sounds are heard.

Walter: Backyard.

South Park elementary.

Stan got out of the bus, but he was in crutches.

Stan was struggling a bit and was about to fall but Wendy rushes to him and caught him.

Wendy: I got you.

Stan was struggling to balance.

Jimmy walks past.

Jimmy: W-welcome to the party p-p-p-pal.

Stan: At least you weren't shot Jimmy!

Wendy: How are you doing?

Stan: I'm terrible at handling crutches.

Wendy: I think you'll get used to it.

Stan: I still don't get how Jimmy can handle them.

Wendy: Maybe you just need to practice.

Wendy lets go of Stan.

Stan tried to move.

He made a few movements with his crutches, but he fell.

Wendy was about to help Stan up.

Stan: No! I got this.

Stan was struggling to get up, but he eventually did it.

Stan: See?

Suddenly Cartman walked past and kicked one of his crutches causing Stan to fall.

Cartman laughed.

Meanwhile in the middle of nowhere.

The bag that was on Randy's head was removed.

Randy coughed.

Randy: Where am I?

Randy sees Gus.

Randy: Oh, hi Gus. Why am I in the middle of nowhere?

Gus punches Randy.

Gus: I think you know why.

Randy: No.

Gus punches Randy again.

Gus: Your product has caused my customers to experience very bad bowel movements.

Randy: It has? You're not working for Taco Bell right?

Gus: People with a sense of humour tend to be dead in 5 seconds flat around me. What was in your product?

Randy: You told me I had to make a product that mixes the taste of Tegridy and Mexico, so I mixed my weed with the spices that are in your chicken.

Gus: Did you even have anyone test it?

Randy: I got Towelie to test it and there were no side effects.

Gus: He's a towel Randy, he has no ass.

Towelie: You're a towel.

Gus: Because of you I am losing customers. Unless you bring yourself to trial there will be consequences. I will kill your wife, I will kill your daughter, I will kill your handicapped son and than I will kill you.

Randy: Two trials in one week. You suck Gus. You think I'm scared of you. You think you have th-

Suddenly Gus pulled his box cutter out of his pocket.

Randy: Whoah, whoah, whoah! A box cutter? That is a very unusual weapon of-

Suddenly Gus grabbed one of his goons and slices his neck.

Some of the blood flew into Randy's face and onto Towelie.

The guy was struggling to breathe, but blood kept flying out of his neck.

The guy stopped struggling and Gus settles his body onto the ground.

Randy stares at Gus in fear.

Gus: I will take you to your lawyer.

Towelie: Aww! I got blood on myself.

Meanwhile.

Nursing home.

Mike was wheeling Hector into the area.

Mike: Hi, do you have a room for this gentleman?

Receptionist: Yes we do. We'll just set it up for you. What's his name?

Mike: Hector Salamanca. He's my cousin.

Receptionist: Does he have any medical conditions?

Mike: He suffered a stroke a few years back and has been in this chair ever since.

Receptionist: Alright. Why don't you put him in the others? It's looking out of the window time.

Mike: Alright.

Mike wheels Hector to the window.

Hector does an evil glare at Mike.

Mike: Do you wanna know why I spared you?

Hector rings his bell once.

Mike: I spared you because there was no use in killing you. You're the last Salamanca. And killing you will be very pointless, so I'm gonna leave you to die in this nursing home. Knowing the fact that you're the last Salamanca and you're gonna die without your nephews at your side when you die.

Hector angrily stares at Mike as a tear falls from his face.

Mike: Goodbye Hector. I'm just gonna fill some papers.

Hector stares at the window.

Marvin: Is this fun?

Hector rings his bell twice.

Marvin: Is that a yes?

Hector rings his bell twice.

Marvin: Oh. Looking out of the window is boring at first, but it becomes quite a fun hobby after a few weeks.

Meanwhile.

Broflovski and Goodman's.

Saul: What brings you here Randy?

Randy: Gerald, we got another trial this week.

Gerald: What?! What do you mean?

Randy: I have to stand trial against Gus after my product, The Los Pollos Hermanos caused a lot of his customers to experience awful bowel movements.

Saul: So, Gus is saying that your weed has caused his business to become the Taco Bell of fried chicken restaurants?

Randy: Yeah.

Saul: I've been doing this weed for weeks and it hasn't caused me any problems.

Saul suddenly grabbed his stomach.

Saul: Oh no.

Saul got out of his chair and ran out of the office.

Gerald: I don't know if I should be doing this trial Randy. I've got my hands full with your divorce trial.

Randy: Come on Gerald! I need you.

Gerald: Like I said, I don't know Randy.

Randy: Gerald, you can do this. Has Saul ever taught you any of his tricks?

Gerald: No Randy.

Randy: Aww come on! Couldn't you try for this?

Randy pulls weed from his pocket.

Gerald: What is it?

Randy: It's my new product. I call it the Last Job.

Gerald: Why do you call it that?

Randy: I don't know, it sounded fancy.

Gerald: Randy, since you are my client I'll do my best to help you. That and I also want to try that weed.

Randy: Alright!

Saul reentered the office.

Saul: Hey I-

Sauk grabbed his stomach again.

Saul: Oh no.

Saul ran out of the office again.

Meanwhile.

Tegridy Farms.

Sharon was packing some stuff.

Shelly and Stan entered the room.

Shelly was carrying Stan's bags.

Sharon: Have you packed your stuff?

Shelly: Yes.

Stan: Yeah.

Sharon: You two will be staying at Uncle Jimbo's until the divorce is done.

Shelly: What? Not him!

Sharon: Do you wanna stay at Grandpa's?

Shelly: I'll get ready for Uncle Jimbo's.

Sharon: Get in the car you two, I'll be with you in a moment. I just gotta sort something out.

Sharon enters a room and inside the room was a mountain of money.

Sharon: I just need to get a few things.

Meanwhile.

Broflovski and Goodman's.

Gerald was sorting out some papers, until the office door opened.

Gerald: Hey Saul. Re-

But it wasn't Saul, it was Gus.

Gerald: Wait, I know you. You're Gustavo Fring.

Gus: Yes I am.

Gus approaches Gerald.

Gerald was about to get up.

Gus: Sit.

Gerald returned to his seat.

Gus: I need to talk things with you.

Suddenly Gus handcuffed Gerald to one of the arms of the chair.

Gerald: What the?

Gus handcuffs Gerald's other hand to the other arm of the chair.

Gerald: What is this?

Gus: I wanna talk.

Gerald: About what?

Gus: About tomorrows trial.

Gerald: But why the handcuffs?

Gus: You can't defend Randy's actions. He's a monster.

Gerald: I can actually. You told Randy to create a product that blends the taste of Tegridy and Mexico. And he did that. But he didn't know the consequences. And you were too stupid to ask him what he tested it on, because you're brainwashed by money.

Gus punches Gerald.

Gus: You're evidence against me is true mostly. I'm not money greedy Gerald, I was excited for the product. But here's the thing, Randy's not gonna win without that evidence.

Gus places a plastic bag over Gerald's head.

Gerald was struggling to breathe.

Gus just stared at Gerald's struggling with evil in his eyes.

After a few minutes, Gerald stopped struggling.

Gus: Because the jury's never gonna hear it.


	17. The Trial

We open to a Jewish funeral for Gerald Broflovski.

Everyone was there.

Saul, The Marshes and Gerald's family.

Rabbi: And now a word from Saul Goodman.

Saul took stage.

Saul: Gerald and I started out rough, but during my time in South Park our rivalry ended and Gerald was somebody I wouldn't class as a partner, but my friend. My best friend. I know that last part sounded a bit cheesy, but he really was. He was a damn fine lawyer and a lawyer I would defend till the end. Um, thank you and amen, I mean shalom. Sorry. Shalom.

Randy was at the funeral, glaring at Saul.

* * *

Intro

Starring

Randy Marsh

Bryan Cranston

Towelie

Aaron Paul

Giancarlo Esposito

Sharon Marsh

Bob Odenkirk

Jonathan Banks

Wendy Testaburger

Stan Marsh

Shelly Marsh

Title card shows up.

Breaking Tegridy.

* * *

South Park elementary.

Stan was by his locker trying to put stuff in his bag, because of his crutches.

Suddenly he heard a voice.

Voice: Hello Stan.

Stan turned around and saw Randy.

Stan: What do you want Dad?

Randy notices Stan's crutches.

Randy: Did they do this?

Stan: No, it was Corey Taylor.

Randy: Wow! What a dick.

Stan: I was being sarcastic!

Randy: How was I supposed to know?

Stan: PC Principal doesn't want you here, how did you get past him?

Randy: Distraction.

Meanwhile.

PC Principal: I still don't know why you're here. You said you had something you'd like to tell me but you're just smoking marijuana.

Towelie: I'm trying to remember what I was planning to tell you. I get high so I can remember.

Back with the drama.

Randy: I wanted us to talk.

Stan: There's nothing to talk about. Look at me Dad, this is your fault. I'm a handicapped person now.

Jimmy: W-w-what's wrong with that?

Stan: No offence Jimmy don't worry.

Randy: Stan, I was gonna ask after the trial, specifically the divorce trial, will you and your sister live with me at the farm?

Stan stares at Randy.

Stan: You think I'm that stupid Dad. I'm never gonna live at that god forsaken farm.

Randy: Why Stan?

Stan: Are you blind?! My legs are not working! That was caused by your stupidity! If you didn't kill that Tuco fella than I wouldn't be in this mess! You ruined mine and Shelly's life! You made us live far away from where I was born, treated me like trash, made us work on your farm and was never there for me! You're a monster Dad, get the fuck out of my life!

Stan tried to attack Randy, but because of his crutches he only moved a foot.

Stan fell to the floor.

Wendy approached Stan and pulled him back up.

Wendy: You ok Stan?

Stan: Let me attack Randy.

Randy was shocked to hear that Stan didn't refer to him as "Dad".

Randy: Fuck you Stan.

Wendy: I'll handle him Stan.

Wendy pulls her phone of her pocket and starts typing into it.

Randy checked his phone after hearing a notification bell.

Voice: Phone Destroyer!

Randy gets electrocuted and knocked out.

Stan: Thanks Wendy.

Wendy kisses Stan's cheek.

Wendy: Just be a little more careful with them.

Stan: Ok.

Mr Mackey: Everything alright?

Stan: Yes Mr Mackey. My Dad just needs escorting out.

Later.

Broflovski and Goodman's.

Saul was looking at his paperwork and packing it in his briefcase.

Saul looked to his right and looked at Gerald's seat.

Saul had sadness in his eyes.

Saul: So long buddy.

Saul smiled.

Suddenly Randy burst into the office.

Saul: Hey Randy, how are you-

Suddenly Randy punched Saul.

Saul: What was that for?

Randy started to punch Saul repeatedly.

Randy: You (Punch) Killed (Punch) Gerald (Punch).

Saul: I would never kill Gerald, what are you talking about?

Randy: Liar! You do! Because you knew you weren't gonna win so you killed him.

Saul: I'd never kill my best friend. Even if I win at this trial, you'll have to pay because Gus is suing you after all.

Randy punches Saul again.

Saul: But you have a lot of money! Did you forget?!

Randy: Of course, I have a lot of money. How much does he want?

Saul: One million dollars.

Randy: Thanks.

Randy punches Saul again.

Randy: That doesn't excuse the fact you killed Gerald.

Randy left the office.

Saul: I didn't do it.

Later.

Tegridy Farms.

Randy and Towelie entered the house.

Randy ran to the vault.

Randy opened the door to the vault.

Towelie: Looks intact.

Randy: Lets start counting.

Towelie: You count, I'll get high.

Towelie lights a joint and starts to smoke it.

Randy: Lazy towel.

Towelie: You're a towel.

Randy: Ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty five, thirty, forty.

French narrator: Four hundred and ninety nine thousand and nine hundred and twenty dollars later.

Randy: Four hundred and ninety nine thousand and nine hundred and eighty, four hundred and ninety nine thousand and nine hundred and ninety, four hundred and ninety nine thousand and nine hundred and ninety five, five hundred thousand. Five hundred thousand? That isn't right.

Towelie: What?

Randy: There's 500,000 dollars. I had one million dollars, I swear I did.

Towelie: Well maybe someone stole it.

Randy: Impossible, me, you and Sharon were the only ones who knew the combination. You couldn't have stolen it because you were with me the entire time. Unless...

Randy suddenly came to a realisation.

Randy: That cunt!

Towelie: I'm gonna search around for any loose change. If I'm lucky, I might find enough so you could pay Gus back.

Jimbo's residence.

Randy was banging on the door.

Randy: Sharon! Open up!

Jimbo answers the door,

Jimbo: Hi Ran-

Randy knocks out Jimbo by punching him.

Randy enters the house.

Randy: Sharon! Sharon!

Sharon was in the kitchen preparing a meal and she stares at the knife that was in her hand.

Sharon goes to Randy.

Sharon: What do you want Randy?

Randy: My money! You took it!

Sharon: I took the money for a reason!

Randy: What was the reason?

Sharon: A good cause. Something that will benefit my family.

Randy: They're my family too!

Sharon: Not anymore!

Stan and Shelly show up to see what the commotion was about.

Stan: What's going on?

Sharon: Kids, go back to your temporary rooms.

Randy: Where is the money?! I might need it if I lose to Gus at the trial.

Sharon: "You might need it". That's what you said. But I need this money for something important Randy.

Randy: Oh, I know. Shopping, jewellery and your favourite, groceries!

Sharon: I took the money for Stan!

Stan: What?

Sharon: It's enough money for Stan to have the operation to walk again.

Stan: Really?

Shelly: Oh my God. That's wonderful!

Randy: Oh who cares about some operation?! I would've given that money to Stan any time I want.

Sharon: You wouldn't Randy. You're arrogant! And you're selfish! And you would've spent it on advertising.

Randy: Sharon, I need that money!

Sharon: Get out Randy!

Randy: Sharon I-

Sharon: Get out!

Sharon pulls the knife out of her pocket and swings it across Randy's face and it places a small cut on his cheek.

Randy places his hand on his cheek and realised it was bleeding.

Sharon was about to stab Randy, but Randy grabbed her wrist to try and stop her.

They scuffle a bit until they both fall to the floor whilst scuffling.

Stan was tearing up.

Stan: Mom, Dad stop it!

Randy now had the knife in his hand and was on top of Sharon.

Randy was about to stab Sharon, but Shelly tackled Randy.

Shelly than got hold of the knife that Randy had in his hand.

Randy got up.

Randy: What the hell Shelly?!

Sharon got up and started doing heavy breathing.

Stan pulled his phone out of his pocket.

Stan: I'm gonna call the cops! Unless you fucking leave Dad! I never want to hear from you or see you!

Randy continued staring at what he used to call "family" for a few more seconds before exiting the house.

After Randy left the house, Shelly started crying and Sharon hugged her.

Stan later joined in on the hug.

Jimbo woke up.

Jimbo (Feeling dizzy): What did I miss?

The next day.

The courthouse.

The courtroom.

Randy was at the front with no lawyer to back him up whilst Gus had Saul to back him up.

Randy glared at Saul.

Randy flipped Saul off.

Saul (Mouthing): I didn't do it.

Randy (Mouthing): Yes you did.

Saul (Mouthing): Screw you.

In the audience.

Jesse, Walt and Badger were in the audience.

Jesse: Yeah. Let's hope third time's the charm.

Walter: Randy will win, despite the fact his lawyer was murdered.

Badger: I'm telling you guys, Saul did it.

Jesse: Nah, it can't be Saul I mean that guy wouldn't hurt a fly.

Suddenly there was a bang.

Everyone had their eyes on Saul.

Saul: Sorry, there was a fly on the desk.

Walter: Like I said, Randy will win it is totally obvious.

Jesse: But Gus has Saul, Mr Marsh will totally lose.

Badger: And I got champagne just in case.

Walter: You bought champagne into a courthouse?

Badger: Yeah and I've been practicing removing the cork the same way everybody does it in the movies.

Badger removes the cork by shooting it off the bottle, but the cork inadvertently hits Mike in the head; who was also in the audience.

Badger: Yeah I forgot to practice my aim.

Mike gets out of his seat to track down where the cork came from.

Badger hands the bottle to Walt.

Badger: He did it. Not me.

Mike: I'll deal with you later Badger.

The judge takes centre stage.

Judge: All Rise.

Everyone rises.

Judge: Good morning. Ladies and gentlemen we are here today to determine the verdict of Randy Marsh who has been accused of poisoning the customers of Los Pollos Hermanos by giving them very bad bowel movements thanks to his product of weed he calls The Los Pollos Hermanos.

The camera pans to the jury and there were, Mr Mackey, Thomas and Laura Tucker (Craig's parents), Deborah Testaburger, Mr Adler, Officer BarBrady, Big Gay Al, Mr Slave, Skeeter, Darryl, Dr Mephesto and Stuart McCormick.

Deborah waves to Mike and Mike waves back.

Judge: Let us begin with our opening defence Mr Marsh you-I'm sorry does anyone hear a beeping?

Gus: Yes I do.

Saul pulled a beeper from his pocket.

Saul: It's not my beeper.

Randy: I had nothing to do with this, don't look at me.

Judge: Where is this beeping-

Suddenly there was a blast.

And the screen cuts to black.


	18. Saved By The Bomb

We open to the Testaburger's residence where everyone was having a viewing party of the trial.

The remaining Broflovski's, Stan, Wendy, Shelly, Sharon, Sean, the Stotches and the Valmers were all present.

Shelly: This is gonna be so satisfying finally seeing Dad lose a trial.

Stan: Yeah.

Jimmy: S-s-so Stan, how goes being handicapped?

Stan: It sucks Jimmy. No offence.

Jimmy: Not a problem. I don't even t-t-try to acknowledge my disability, I just don't try to make a-a-a big deal out of i-i-i-it. So maybe you should do that, d-d-don't acknowledge your disability. J-j-just try and enjoy life l-l-l-like I do.

Stan: Thanks for the advice Jim.

Sean: So Sharon, what are you gonna do about finding somewhere to stay?

Sharon: We're staying at Jimbo's for a while until I can afford enough money for a better house. I'm planning to use the money I've got on surgery for Stan's legs.

Sean: What? You sure you don't want to use it-

Sharon: My son is important to me right now Sean. I'm gonna fix something Randy caused. So the money I've got is enough for his surgery.

Sean: That's great Sharon. Although I wo-

Shelly: Ssshhh, the trial is starting.

_Judge: All Rise._

_Everyone rises._

_Judge: Good morning. Ladies and gentlemen we are here today to determine the verdict of Randy Marsh who has been accused of poisoning of customers of Los Pollos Hermanos by giving them very bad bowel movements. Let us begin with our opening defence Mr Marsh you-I'm sorry does anyone hear a beeping?_

_Gus: Yes I do._

_Saul pulled a beeper from his pocket._

_Saul: It's not my beeper._

Stan: Who owns a beeper nowadays?

_Judge: Where is this beeping-_

Suddenly there was a blast.

And the tv screen cuts to static.

Everyone was in shock after what they saw.

Stan: Jesus dude!

Wendy started to tear up.

Wendy: Mom, was there.

Jimmy: W-w-wow what a way to end this t-t-trial. Ended it with a bang.

Everyone stared at Jimmy in shock.

* * *

Intro

Starring

Randy Marsh

Bryan Cranston

Towelie

Aaron Paul

Giancarlo Esposito

Sharon Marsh

Bob Odenkirk

Jonathan Banks

Wendy Testaburger

Stan Marsh

Shelly Marsh

Title card shows up.

Breaking Tegridy.

* * *

Mike POV.

Mike woke up after being knocked out by the blast.

Mike had ash all over his face and his head was bleeding.

Mike was trying to take in what happened.

Mike: Deborah!

Mike was searching the courtroom for Deborah.

Mike bumped past Walt and Jesse who were both carrying Badger.

Mike: Deborah!

Mike made it to the jury seats and tried to find Deborah under all the piles of wood.

Mike moves a lot of the wood away and finds Darryl.

Mike: Are you ok?

Darryl: They (Cough) took my legs!

Skeeter's hand pokes out from the rubble.

Skeeter: They took his legs.

Guy: They took yer legs.

Other guy: Took yer legs.

Mike: Have you seen Deborah Testaburger?

Darryl: I would look for her with you, but they took my legs!

Skeeter: They took his lergs.

Guy: They took yer lergs.

Other Guy: Took yer lergs.

Darryl: Can you help me?

Mike: I'm looking for my niece, I prom-

Saul suddenly approached Mike and Darryl.

Saul: Don't worry Mike, I'll handle him. You find your niece.

Mike: Thanks Saul.

Saul started to carry Darryl over his shoulder.

Saul: Come on Captain Dan.

Saul started to carry Darryl out of the building.

Mike dug through the rubble some more until he eventually found Deborah unconscious.

Mike: Deborah!

Mike checked her pulse and she was still breathing.

Mike: It's alright sweetie, I'll take you to the hospital.

Mike started to carry Deborah over his shoulders and as soon as he exited the courthouse he saw that a lot of ambulances were at the scene.

Mike: Hey! There's one over here!

Mike hands Deborah to a paramedic.

The paramedics place Deborah on a stretcher and wheel her into an ambulance.

Mike: Where's the nearest phone?

Paramedic: I think there's one at the back. What about-

Mike: I'll handle the head by myself.

Mike ran to the back of the courthouse where he found Gus waiting for him.

Voice: Mike?

Saul POV.

Saul woke up to hear the fire alarm ringing in his ear.

Saul got up off the floor and sees that Gus is nowhere to be found.

Saul's suit was covered in ash.

Saul ran to the jury seats and sees Mike with Darryl.

Darryl: Can you help me?

Mike: I'm looking for my niece, I prom-

Saul suddenly approached Mike and Darryl.

Saul: Don't worry Mike, I'll handle him. You find your niece.

Mike: Thanks Saul.

Saul started to carry Darryl over his shoulder.

Saul: Come on Captain Dan.

Saul ran out of the courthouse where paramedics were waiting.

Saul: Hey! Hey!

A paramedic caught Saul's attention.

Saul handed Darryl to the paramedic.

Saul started to run back into the courthouse.

Paramedic: Where are you going?

Saul looked back at the paramedic.

Saul: Somebody's gotta do the right thing.

A montage of Saul rescuing people is shown.

Saul is seen rescuing Skeeter, Mr Adler and Big Gay Al at different points in time.

Than we see Saul carrying them out of the courthouse, all at different points in time.

Later we see Saul carrying two unconscious bodies from the courthouse.

Paramedic: This guy is crazy.

Another paramedic: One crazy son of a bitch.

Yet another paramedic: One crazy, heroic son of a bitch.

They watch as Saul is seen carrying a few more unconscious bodies out of the courthouse.

Later.

Saul is seen holding an oxygen mask and breathing into it.

A firefighter who looked like Kurt Russel in Backdraft approaches Saul.

Firefighter: That was some heroic shit back there.

Saul: I wasn't gonna cower and let those people die. Right thing to do.

Firefighter: Yeah. Well done.

Saul couldn't help but feel like that Gus could've still been in there and he's just left him to die.

Walt and Jesse POV.

Walt and Jesse both woke up.

Jesse: What the hell?

Walt and Jesse got up on their feet.

Walt had a cut on the top of his nose.

Jesse: Badger?

Badger: Help!

Walter: Badger?!

They see Badger on the floor and he had the champagne bottle lodged in his leg.

Jesse: How did this happen?

Badger: Probably the bomb.

Walter: Come on Jesse.

Walt and Jesse started to carry Badger simultaneously.

Badger: AAAAAHHHH! My leg!

Walter: Stop panicking.

They start to make their way out of the courthouse.

On their way out they accidentally bump into Mike.

Badger: Oh this is gonna be one humiliating death certificate. Death by champagne bottle.

Walter: You're not gonna die.

They carry Badger out to the paramedics.

Paramedic: How is he?

Walter: He's got a champagne bottle lodged in his leg.

Paramedic: That's a first.

Jesse hands Badger to the paramedic.

Walt and the paramedic put Badger on a stretcher.

Walter: You're gonna be alright Badger.

Badger: Just don't laugh at my funeral.

Walt notices Jesse sitting on a step of the courthouse.

Walt sits down with him.

Walter: He's gonna be alright Jesse.

Jesse: Randy did it.

Walter: What?

Jesse: Randy did it. I know it-

Walter: It does seem likely actually.

Jesse: What?

Walter: He could be at the back, trying to make a smart escape route.

Walt shows Jesse he has a gun.

Walt gets off the step and heads off to the back.

Jesse: Mr White?

Jesse soon follows.

They make it to the back where they stop in their tracks.

Walter: Mike?

Randy POV.

Randy was a bit dizzy after the blast.

He woke up with a busted lip.

Randy started to make his way to the back exit, but before he could somebody was trying to shoot him.

The bullets managed to miss Randy.

Randy couldn't see who the assailant was due to the smoke.

But as Randy made it to the door a bullet managed to hit him in the shoulder.

Randy fell to the floor screaming in pain.

Randy managed to get up and make it to the exit whilst putting pressure on the bullet wound with his hand.

When Randy got out, a car reared right in front of him.

And in the driver's seat, was Towelie, who looked a little bit jittery.

Randy got in the car.

Randy: How are you driving this car?

Towelie: I'm driving?! What's going on?! Where am I?! I'm high on cocaine! Who's there?!

Randy: Just drive Towelie!

Towelie started to drive.

Towelie: Randy?! What's going on?! How did the trial go?!

Randy: I was saved by a blast.

Towelie: Blast?! Blast of cocaine?! Blast of energy drinks?!

Randy: Did you plant the bomb Towelie?!

Towelie: What bomb?! And no I didn't.

Randy: I didn't either. But who did?

Towelie: It was probably Mexican Joker.

Randy (Grunting): It can't be him, he's just a kid. I doubt he knows how a bomb works.

Towelie: It was Mexican Joker. He's an anarchist just like The Joker.

Randy: Actually he's more of a tragic character who was adopted by awful people.

Towelie: No! he's an anarchist.

Randy: We'll discuss this later.

Gus POV.

Gus managed to pull himself up after the blast.

Gus' glasses had a broken lens.

Through the smoke, Gus managed to catch a glimpse of Randy trying to escape.

Gus pulls his gun out of his pocket and starts shooting.

Gus misses a few times, but he manages to hit Randy in the shoulder by the time he got to the door that led to the exit.

Gus' legs were a little sturdy, so he couldn't quite catch up with Randy.

Later, Gus made it to the back exit where he stood right beside a public telephone.

Mike later ran into him.

Gus and Mike stare at each other.

Walter: Mike?

Gus notices Walt and Jesse right behind Mike.

Gus now had anger in his eyes.

Gus points his gun at Walt.

But he drops it after 43 seconds.

Gus: I would've killed you, but I'm out of bullets.

Walt points his gun at Gus.

Walter: I'm not.

Mike pulls his gun out of his pocket and aims it at Walt's head.

Walter: Mike, what are you doing? You're retired remember?

Mike: I know that. But I'm still loyal to Gus.

Jesse: Whoah! Whoah! Whoah! No! No! Guys, why are we back here? It's because of Randy Marsh's bomb.

Mike: How can you be so sure it's Randy's?

Jesse: Isn't obvious?! He knew he was gonna lose, so blowing us up was the only way he wouldn't pay Gus.

Gus: The kid is probably right. He would do anything to not pay me.

Jesse: Right, exactly. Enough is enough I want revenge on Randy Marsh, for blowing up my RV and almost killing Badger. So how about this, we work together to take that stupid bitch down?

Walt and Gus stare at each other with hatred in their eyes.

After a few more seconds, Walt concealed his weapon along with Mike.

Gus: So, do we have any bright ideas?

Jesse: I say we blow up his farm to make him know what blowing up a home feels like.

Mike: I say we kill him fair and square.

Gus: The suspects would probably be too obvious. They'll question us and sooner or later we might snap. We need a smarter strategy. Mr White, you were always the smart one. Do you have any ideas?

Walt stares at them, but he eventually pulls a face that says "I got a bright idea".

Walter: It's something I've been planning for a while.


	19. FaceOff

We open to the old folks home.

Walt, Mike, Jesse and Gus walk to the receptionist.

Receptionist: Can I help you?

Walter: Hi, we're here to see Hector Salamanca.

Receptionist: Sure, he's in his room.

They walk into Hector's room and see Hector looking outside the window.

Gus: Hello Hector.

Jesse wheels Hector's wheelchair so he could see them.

Hector stares at all of them in anger.

Mike: Before you ring that bell I want you to listen to us.

Walter: It's about Randy Marsh. We want him dead as well.

Hector glares at them for a moment, but he moves his hand away from the bell.

Gus: I know you can't stand being the last of the Salamanca's, so Walt is gonna show you what he has planned.

Hector keeps glaring at Mike.

Mike: Hector, I know what I did to Leonel and Marco. And I'm sorry, I only killed Marco but Leonel was entirely someone else.

Hector stops glaring at Mike and has his eyes on Walt.

Walter shows Hector the blueprint to Hector.

Walter: I know this may seem like suicide, but if either me, or Jesse, or Gus or Mike killed Randy, than the cops will have all eyes on us.

Jesse: What do you say Hec?

Gus: Hec?

Jesse: Short for Hector yo. I'm pretty sure he doesn't mind it. Do you mind it Hec?

Hector rings his bell two times.

Mike: That's a no.

Walter: What do you say Hector?

Hector stares at Walt for a moment, but than he smiled.

Marvin entered the room.

Marvin: Hey Hector, do you wanna look at my Hummel collection?

Hector stares on in anger, but he rolls his eyes and rings his bell once.

* * *

Intro

Starring

Randy Marsh

Bryan Cranston

Towelie

Aaron Paul

Giancarlo Esposito

Sharon Marsh

Bob Odenkirk

Jonathan Banks

Wendy Testaburger

Stan Marsh

Shelly Marsh

Title card shows up.

Breaking Tegridy.

* * *

Later.

Hell's Pass Hospital.

Mike ran into the hospital and ran to the receptionist.

Mike: Deborah Testaburger?

Receptionist: She isn't ready for visitors, but you can wait in the waiting area if you wish.

Mike: Ok thanks.

Mike ran to the waiting area.

Where he was greeted by Stan, Shelly, Sharon, Sean and Wendy.

Sean: Mike! Where the hell have you been?!

Mike: Sorting out my bloody head.

Mike had a band aid on his head because of his head wound.

Sean: You should've been there for my wife!

Mike: I was the one who rescued her!

Sean: And you weren't there for he-

Sharon: Sean! I get it, you're just looking for someone to blame for Deborah's accident, but getting angry at Mike isn't gonna change anything.

Sean started tearing up.

Sean: I'm sorry Mike.

Mike and Sean start hugging each other.

Mike: It's alright Sean.

They stop hugging each other.

Mike: Do you want me to go get you some water?

Sean: Nah, I'll get it myself.

Sean exited the waiting area to get himself some water.

Mike sat down next to Wendy.

Wendy: Is Mom gonna be ok?

Mike gave her an encouraging look.

Mike: She's gonna be alright sweetie.

But deep down Mike knew he wasn't so sure.

Wendy: She's not gonna be ok, isn't she?

Mike: Wendy don't say that. Of course she is.

Wendy: You're just saying that to try and keep me calm.

Mike: Well I do-

Wendy: You are Mike. You are!

Wendy had tears in her eyes.

Mike: No, don't cry sweetie.

Stan: Do you nee-

Wendy than starts hugging Mike.

Stan: Never mind.

Wendy (Crying): I'm just so worried for her Uncle Mike. I'm scared she'll die.

Mike hugged Wendy back.

Mike: I don't know for sure sweetie, but I want her to be ok. I haven't seen her in years and I don't want this to be the last time I'll see her.

Mike had a tear roll down his face.

Mike: Everything's gonna be ok.

Sharon: Hey Mike, can I talk to you?

Mike: Alright Sharon.

Mike stopped hugging Wendy.

Than Wendy went straight to hugging Stan.

Stan: Watch the legs!

Wendy: Sorry.

Mike and Sharon exit the waiting area.

Sharon: What about Randy? Did he-

Mike: He survived.

Sharon: How do you know?

Mike: They never found the body.

Sharon: What are you gonna do about it?

Mike: I know this may seem drastic. But me, Walt, Jesse and Gus are gonna kill him.

Sharon stares at Mike with a face that said "What?" Than she pulls a very demanding look.

Sharon: Kill him by all means.

Mike: Really? I-

Sharon: He deserves it. I did steal half of his money to get him back and also for Stan's leg surgery for tomorrow.

Mike: That's brilliant Sharon. That kid was crippled by a dangerous cartel and he deserves to walk again.

Sharon: I know.

Mike: And when Randy dies, I promise the rest of his money will be handed to you.

Sharon: But the money is probably going to go to Towelie. Because he wrote a will saying "If he died than all the money will go to Towelie".

Mike: Don't worry, I've got somebody working on a new one.

We cut to somebody forging a fake will saying "If I die. I want all my money to go to Sharon Marsh and also sell my brain to Disney".

The guy finishes the forgery.

Forger: Here you go.

The forger handed the paper to Saul Goodman.

Saul: Thank you.

Saul starts to read it.

Saul: "Sell brain to Disney". Wait what?

Forger: I made that up.

Saul: Randy was stupid, but he wasn't that stupid.

Forger: He was planning to sell his brain to the same guys who made The Big Bang Theory.

Saul: Oh my God! Thank God you changed that.

Old Marsh residence.

Walt and Jesse were preparing some Blue Sky.

Walter: I'm surprised you're willing to work with Gus. After what he did to Brock.

Jesse: Well we all want revenge on Marsh. And after we kill Randy, I'm gonna kill Gus.

Walter: I thought you were against violence.

Jesse: I was. But since he almost killed Brock, that bitch deserves to die.

Walter: Jesse! No!

Jesse: Mr White! He deserves to die!

Walter: No! Randy is more important! Once we deal with Randy, I promise I will handle Gus, not you!

Jesse: Mr White I should be the one to kill him!

Walter: I have killed many people and I don't want you to see a jail cell before you die! You deserve the better future!

Jesse sighed.

Jesse: Alright. I guess you're right. My future is more important.

Walter: Good.

The next day.

Hell's Pass Hospital.

Stan was on the operating table.

Doctor: Now we're gonna put you to sleep now so you don't feel a thing. Ok son?

Stan: Ok.

Outside the operating room, Sharon and Shelly were watching from the window.

Sharon and Shelly were nervous because they didn't know if it was gonna be successful.

The doctors placed a breathing mask on Stan's face and in just a few minutes, Stan was out cold.

Shelly: I can't watch. I'm not sure why I decided to come.

Sharon: Well you did wanna get away from your Grandpa's 103rd birthday party.

The old folks home.

Everyone was around Marvin and the nurses were giving him a birthday cake.

The old people at the home were singing.

Everyone: _Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear..._

The old people stopped singing.

Old guy: What was his name?

Old man: I think his name was Jonathan.

Old woman: No I think his name was Aaron.

Old gal: No I think his name was Anna.

Old dude: What kind of guys name is Anna?

Old man: Let's just improvise.

Everyone: _Happy birthday Whatever your name is. Happy birthday to you._

Marvin: Can someone help me blow out the candles?

Towelie: Hold on.

Towelie jumped up on the table and used one of the candles to light his joint.

Marvin: Stupid dish cloth.

Towelie: You're a dish cloth.

Marvin: I'll do it myself.

Walter and Randy had their backs against the walls.

Randy: So, why are you here?

Walter: I was hoping we could settle our pointless rivalry.

Randy: Pfft. After leaving me to die with Tuco.

Walter: Well dealing with the Salamanca's was your mess and it wasn't my involvement at all.

Randy: Come on! You could've helped me out!

Walter: I wasn't gonna help you! After what you did!

Randy: Now you don't want to stop our pointless rivalry.

Walter: You know what? Forget it. We're never gonna settle this rivalry.

Randy: And I don't want to.

Walter walked away.

Marvin: And the last candle.

Marvin blew out the last candle.

Everyone clapped.

A nurse approached Gus.

Nurse: Mr Fring, it was so great that you could donate some of your chicken for this amazing occasion.

Gus: Well 103 is an important birthday. And celebrating the birthdays of one of my oldest customers was a way to repay him.

Marvin: Now, I would like to ask two of my most favourite people to come with me to look at my Hummel collection. And these important people are, my new best friend Hector Salamanca and my son Howard.

Gus approaches Hector.

Gus (Whispering): Remember when he's in, give Mr White the signal as loud as you can.

Walt was standing near Marvin's room and gave Hector a thumbs up.

A nurse starts to wheel Hector to Marvin's room.

Randy: No, I got it thank you.

Nurse: Such a gentleman.

Randy starts to wheel Hector into Marvin's room.

Gus, Mike, Jesse and Walt stare at the door.

After a few moments, they heard the bell ringing.

Walt was scrummaging through his pockets to find what he was looking for.

But Walt couldn't find it.

Gus runs up to Walt.

Gus: Where's the detonator?

Walter: It's not in my pocket.

Gus: I know that. How did you lose it?

Walter: I don't know!

Jesse and Mike approach the two.

Mike: What's going on?

Gus: Walt's lost the detonator.

Mike: You have got to be kidding me.

Jesse: Aww bitch! What the hell?!

Walter: It wasn't my fault. I must've dropped it outside.

Gus: You three go outside and find the damn detonator!

Walt, Mike and Jesse exit the building to find the detonator.

After the trio left, Gus enters Marvin's room to find only Hector and Marvin in the room.

Gus notices the open window.

Gus notices a bomb strapped to the back of Marvin's chair.

Gus finally figures out that this is a trap.

But before he could escape, the door locks.

Gus struggles but he couldn't budge it open.

Gus stares at the two old bros.

Marvin: Best birthday present coming up.

Gus heard the beeping.

Gus: HAAAAWWWWW!

Both Marvin and Hector blow up.

The blast was so powerful it blew the door right open.

The nurses, Walt, Jesse and Mike go to see what the commotion was about and they see Gus exit.

Jesse: He looks alright.

Gus was sorting out his tie, but as the camera pans to Gus we realise that half of his face is missing. Leaving a bloody skull.

Gus than collapses to the ground.

Jesse: What the hell?!

Walter: That was two blasts.

Mike: How do you know?

Walter: I could tell by the sound radius. There wasn't just the bomb in Hector's stomach. There was another.

Walt suddenly came to a realisation.

Walter: It was a trap. The detonator didn't fall out of my pocket.

Walt than suddenly realised what Randy did.

Meanwhile.

Randy was driving his car and he threw the two detonators out of the window and they landed in Stark's Pond.

Randy laughed.

Randy: Oh shit! I forgot Towelie!


	20. Back On Track

We open to Randy and Towelie entering the farm.

Randy was holding onto his shoulder because he was shot.

(A/N: Set after the events of Saved By The Bomb).

Randy: Towelie, get me whisky, tweezers, a wet cloth and a band aid.

Towelie: Ok.

Towelie went into the kitchen to retrieve the supplies.

Randy takes his shirt off and quickly placed his hand back on his wound.

Towelie hands Randy the whisky.

Randy: I hope it isn't as p-

Randy poured the whisky on his wound.

Randy: Holy fuck! It's painful!

Suddenly a notification ring was heard.

Randy: Towelie get-

Randy poured the whisky on his wound again.

Randy: AAAAAAHHHHHHHH.

Towelie: You want me to get the box set of AAAAAHHHHH! Real Monsters?

Randy: No, see who's messaged me!

Randy uses the tweezers to remove the bullet from his wound.

Randy started dabbing the wet cloth on his wound.

Towelie: Randy, I got a text.

Randy sticks a band aid on his wound.

Randy: From who?

Towelie: Some anonymous guy. Walt, Gus, Jesse and Mike are planning to kill you at your Dad's 103rd birthday.

Randy: How?

Towelie: They're planning to blow you up when you're alone with Hector.

Randy: Wait, Tuco's creepy uncle is at a retirement home?

Towelie: Yeah.

Randy: Oh shit!

Towelie: Well it's simple, we don't go to his birthday. I mean it wasn't the first time you didn't show up for his birthday.

Randy: No!

Towelie: What?

Randy puts his shirt on.

Randy: We're gonna give those four a hint of Tegridy.

Later.

Old Folks Home.

Randy: ...And so that was our plan. What do you think Dad?

Marvin glares at Randy.

Marvin: Howard, you're a disappointment.

Randy: (Sigh) Can there be a day when you aren't disappointed?

Marvin: But you've finally decided to give me the best birthday gift ever.

Randy: Really?!

Marvin: Of course Howard, I gave you shit for your birthday and now it's about time you gave me something back.

Randy: Alright! Remember, speak into this walkie talkie when one of the four douchebags comes anywhere near you and I'll blow you sky high. That signal is Tegridy.

Marvin: No that sucks. How about-

We than cut to Marvin pressing the walkie talkie on his lap.

Marvin: Best birthday present coming up.

Than there was the beeping.

Gus: HAAAAAWWWWWW!

Marvin blows up and than we cut to the...

* * *

Intro

Starring

Randy Marsh

Bryan Cranston

Towelie

Aaron Paul

Sharon Marsh

Bob Odenkirk

Jonathan Banks

Wendy Testaburger

Stan Marsh

Shelly Marsh

Title card shows up.

Breaking Tegridy.

* * *

Hell's Pass Hospital.

Sharon and Shelly were in the waiting room waiting for the surgery on Stan to be finished.

A doctor entered the waiting room.

Sharon: How is he?

Doctor: The surgery was a success.

Sharon: Oh my God!

Shelly: That's amazing.

Sharon: Can we see him?

Doctor: You may.

Sharon and Shelly enter the patient room where Stan was recovering.

But he wasn't on the bed.

He was nowhere to be found in the room.

Sharon: Stanley? Stanley?

Shelly: Turd?

Sharon and Shelly start scanning the room.

Until a familiar someone popped out from the curtain and startled Sharon and Shelly.

That familiar someone was Stan and he was standing on his two feet.

Stan: Surprised?

Sharon: Stanley! You had us scared!

Shelly: You stupid turd!

Stan sighed.

Sharon: Oh Stanley baby. I can't stay mad at you.

Sharon and Shelly ran up to Stan and hugged him.

Sharon: You've been very brave.

Stan: And I'm assuming Dad didn't wanna show.

Shelly: Please, don't say anything about him.

They continued hugging.

Sharon: How are your legs?

They stopped hugging each other.

Stan walked around them just show them he could walk.

Shelly: I'm so glad you can walk turd.

Stan: Same.

Shelly: I can finally do this.

Shelly punched Stan and he flew across the room.

Shelly: I love you little bro.

Stan: I love you too big sis.

Sharon turns on the TV and was shocked at what she saw on the TV.

It was the news and it was showing footage of the explosion from the last episode.

_Tom Pusslicker: The explosive was believed to be inside Hector's stomach in an effort to kill Gus Fring. Whom he and him share a very historical rivalry. The blast only claimed three victims and they were, Hector Salamanca, Gustavo Fring and Marvin Marsh._

Stan and Shelly eventually see the news as well.

Sharon: Oh my God!

Stan: He always wanted to die. And I guess he finally got his wish on his birthday.

Meanwhile.

Tegridy Farms.

Randy and Towelie were walking downstairs.

Randy: Gus won't be bothering us anymore.

Towelie: But how are we gonna beat Walter White? How are you gonna beat Mr White without someone to help us make bigger profits?

Randy: It doesn't matter anymore, I'm going to go back to being an independent company. Have we got the new recruits?

Towelie: Yeah.

The new recruits were waiting for them downstairs and they were a Caucasian male with ginger hair and stubble, an African American male with a funny shaped head and a young man in his mid twenties.

Towelie: Randy, I want you to meet Kuby, Huell and Todd.

Kuby (The Caucasian male with ginger hair and stubble): Nice to meet you. Is it nice to meet him Huell?

Huell (The African American Male with the funny shaped head): Mostly.

Todd: My Uncle is a huge fan of your weed Mr Marsh.

Randy: Right, new recruits. Do you have Tegridy?

Huell, Kuby and Todd: Sir yes sir.

Randy: Do you love Tegridy?

Huell, Kuby and Todd: Sir yes sir.

Randy: And will you make sure this whole country has Tegridy?!

Huell, Kuby and Todd: Sir yes sir.

Randy: Great, follow me!

Towelie, Huell, Kuby and Todd start following Randy.

Later.

Randy: This is the barn where we make the weed and test it.

Kuby: Can we have a free sample?

Randy: No free sample.

Huell was smoking some weed.

Everyone had their eyes on Huell.

Huell: I took it before you said no free sample.

Randy: Put it out.

Huell continues smoking the weed.

Huell: It would be a waste of weed man. Let me finish it.

Randy sighed.

Randy: Fine. Right this way.

They continue following Randy.

Later.

Randy: And this is the gift shop. Where we sell Tegridy Farms merchandise.

Todd: Does anyone ever buy this shit?

Randy: Hey, it's not shit.

Kuby picks up a stuffed Randy.

Kuby: Do you want this Huell?

Huell: Was it made in China?

Kuby: Was this made in China?

Randy: Well the material was made in China.

Huell: Than Nah man. I feel uncomfortable around products from China.

Later.

Randy: And this is the greenhouse, where we store the weed. And over there is a big pile of weed.

Huell stares at the weed.

Huell: I gotta do it man.

Huell than starts laying on the weed.

Kuby: Huell! What are you doing?

Towelie: He's damaging the product.

Randy: It does look kind of satisfying.

Randy than joins Huell into laying on the weed.

Randy: This is comfortable.

Kuby: Oh, fuck it.

Kuby than lies on the weed.

Towelie: I'm tired anyway.

Towelie than joins in on the action.

Todd: Wouldn't that be damaging the product?

Randy: Todd don't be a wuss and join us.

Todd sighed.

Todd: Alright fine.

Todd than joined in.

Huell: I'm gonna be smelling of weed after this.

Randy: That means you're part of the family.

Old Marsh residence.

Walter, Jesse and Mike were sitting on the couch.

Jesse: This is bullshit! If we don't do something about it, Randy wins!

Walter: Jesse, he's not worth it anymore.

Jesse: Not worth it?! Are you even listening to yourself Mr White?! He blew up my RV and got away with it, he also blew up an old folks home and murdered Tuco Salamanca which inadvertently caused his son to almost die! That bitch deserves to die Mr White!

Walter: He's not worth it anymore Jesse! Don't you get it? We lost because he outsmarted us! He knew what we were planning!

Mike: How did he know what we were planning?

Walter: I don't know, he just did!

Jesse: Well I'm not going to let that scum walk free.

Jesse grabs a gun.

Walter and Mike grab Jesse.

Jesse tries to get out of Walt and Mike's grasp.

Jesse: No! No! No!

Mike: He's not worth it!

Jesse: Yes he is! Get your hands off me bitch!

Walter: Jesse! Jesse!

Jesse than falls to the floor and breaks down in tears.

Jesse: I'm sorry.

Jesse hugs Walt.

Walter: It's ok. I want him dead too. But there's nothing I can do now. He's outsmarted us and I don't want it to happen again.

Mike: What are we gonna do now?

Walter: Mike you go on and enjoy retirement. You've earned it.

Mike: What about you and Jesse?

Walter: We'll continue our business.

Mike: Ok. I got a family here I gotta take care of.

Walt lets go of Jesse.

Mike: Listen Walt, I don't really like working with you but it was worth a shot to get rid of that gun toting, weed smoking piece of white trash. Good luck with your life choices.

Mike and Walt shake hands.

Walter: You too Mike.

Walter hands Mike an envelope.

Mike accepts it.

Walter: For your troubles.

Mike: Thank you.

Meanwhile.

Tegridy Farms.

Huell, Kuby and Todd were leaving the farm.

Randy: Ok remember, 9 AM tomorrow. Got it?

Todd: I got it Randy.

Todd gets in his car and drives off.

Huell: Mr Marsh.

Randy: Yes Huell?

Huell: I got a question.

Randy: And I've got a question. Now I don't mean to be rude and all, but what's with your head?

Huell: I count that as rude.

Randy: Oh Sorry.

Huell: I hope you are.

Kuby: Come on Huell, ask the question so we can go?

Huell: You plan to blow anything else up?

Randy was shocked at the question.

Kuby: Huell, what the hell are you doing? We don't ask those kind of questions.

Randy: Well I don't plan to blow anything up. Why ask that? Are you cops?

Kuby: No! Huell tell him.

Huell: If I were a cop yo ass would be in jail by now.

Randy: Well alright. See you boys tomorrow.

Huell and Kuby leave the farm.

Moments later Kuby parks up outside a motel and he and Huell exit the car.

They enter one of the rooms.

Voice: Does he have anything planned?

Kuby: Not really.

Voice: Have you got the job?

Kuby: We both did. We're going to be working there at 9 tomorrow.

Huell: Nine AM specifically speaking.

Kuby: Why do you want us watching him again?

Their boss exits the shadows and it was Saul.

Saul: Because I don't want another bad thing happening. And sorry I was hiding in the shadows the electricity here is shit.

Huell hits the wall and the light comes on.

Saul: Thanks Huell.

Huell: No problem.

Hell's Pass Hospital.

Wendy was looking outside the window of the hospital and she pulls out her phone from her pocket.

She unlocks it and opens up photos and looks at a picture of her and her Mom having a selfie.

A stray tear fell from Wendy's eye.

Stan stood behind her.

Stan: Hey.

Wendy puts her phone away.

Wendy: Where have you been?

Stan: Places.

Wendy: And where were those places? Hanging out with your friends?

Stan: Um...

Wendy: Stan! I get you're handicapped but that doesn't excuse the fact that you can't abandon me in my time of need!

Stan: Wendy I can-

Wendy turns around.

Wendy: You can explain what? How you decided to abandon me? How you are suddenly standing without the need of crutches? How-

Wendy than suddenly stopped mid sentence because she realised that Stan was standing without crutches.

Wendy: Is this some kind of joke?

Stan: No. I didn't come because I was having leg surgery. And I wanted to surprise you.

Wendy was shocked.

Wendy: I don't really know what to say about all this. It's just I'm so worried about my Mom.

Wendy turned her back against Stan and continued looking outside the window.

Stan would've yelled at Wendy for not feeling happy that he's walking again, but he realised she's more concerned about her Mom.

Stan stood next to Wendy and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

Stan: How is she anyway?

Wendy: She still hasn't woken up. I don't know if she will make it. The blast was very severe. It killed Mr Slave, Mr Tucker, Mr Adler and Officer BarBrady.

Wendy than started tearing up.

Wendy (Crying): I don't know if she will make it Stan. I'm so scared for her right now.

Stan than hugged Wendy.

Stan: I know this is tough, but I'm here now Wendy you're not alone on this. I am worried about your Mom as well. She's a really nice person Wendy and I'd be sad too if she died. She's gonna be ok Wendy, I know she is.

Wendy continued crying whilst Stan continued hugging her.

The next day.

Randy got out of bed in a cheery mood because this is the first day of Tegridy Farms going back to being an independent company.

Randy had a shower, Randy was having breakfast whilst smoking weed, Randy got dressed and than goes on his IPad.

Randy: I expected Dolittle to have a higher Rotten Tomatoes score than Bad Boys 3.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door.

Randy: Ooooh, that must be my new workers. They're here early.

Randy ran downstairs with so much excitement.

Randy ran to the front door and opened the door.

But instead of his new workers standing on the porch, it was a balding man in his 40's along with a Mexican looking man with a goatee.

Randy: Can I help you gentlemen?

Man 1: Mr Marsh, my name is Hank Schrader and this is my partner Gomez.

Gomez: Howdy.

Randy: And you want me to be a part of your company and than I will make a lot of money with you guys but in the end we end up betraying each other and you die.

Hank laughed.

Hank: That is one fucked up series of events you must've had. No, me and Gomez are part of the DEA.

Towelie: Oh shit! It's the DEA. (Whispering) Hide the Crack! Hide the crack!

Hank: A talking towel. I thought I've seen it all.

Randy: What brings you fine gentlemen here? I hope you're not here to tell me weed is illegal again.

Hank: No. We want to ask you a few questions regarding Walter White.

Randy pulls a face that said "What?".

Randy: What questions?

Hank: That's what you're about to find out.


	21. Secrets

We open to Randy sitting on the table being questioned by Hank.

Hank: So Mr Marsh, how long have you known Walter White?

Randy: I've known him for a while. We've gotten off to a rough start.

Hank: What do you mean?

Randy: We started hating each other because I was beating his business.

Hank: Yeah. I know...that is bullshit.

Randy: What?

Hank: Let me tell you something Marsh, I've read your town's newspapers and you're one helluva a liar. You know before weed was legal I was busting your asses and I enjoyed the hell out of it. I may not be able to bust your ass for making weed but I can bust your ass for lying to a high ranking official. Now let's go forward in time. Has Walter White ever attempted to kill you?

Randy: Actually he has tried to blow me up. But instead he caused the death of Gus Fring.

Hank: Yeah I'm aware. Sorry for the loss of your father.

Randy: It's ok Mr Schrader. I can tell you what I know about Walt so you can lock him up.

Hank: That's the thing. We can't lock him up without the proper evidence. Has Walt ever lied to you about legally selling meth in Albuquerque?

Randy: He said he did that before he moved here.

Hank: That's the thing, meth is illegal in New Mexico.

Randy: It is?

Hank: Yeah. Me and Gomez got fired because my chief in command thought I was off my head or something along those lines.

Randy: What do you want me to do?

Hank: This is what I want you to do Randy, I want you to make Walt admit to his crimes in Albuquerque and have it recorded.

Randy: But me and Walt-

Hank: Act like you want your rivalry to end. And we'll stick a wire on ya. Gomez get the wire.

But Gomez was getting high with Towelie.

Gomez: Do you think they'll make a Pineapple Express 2?

Towelie: Not really. James Franco's character would be a fucking millionaire and not running away from corrupt cops or evil millionaires.

Hank: Goddammit Gomez!

* * *

Intro

Starring

Randy Marsh

Bryan Cranston

Towelie

Aaron Paul

Sharon Marsh

Dean Norris

Bob Odenkirk

Jonathan Banks

Wendy Testaburger

Stan Marsh

Shelly Marsh

Title card shows up.

Breaking Tegridy.

* * *

Tegridy Farms.

Huell, Kuby and Todd were standing like soldiers listening to their boss.

But their boss wasn't saying anything.

Todd: You gonna give us a motivational speech?

Towelie was smoking weed and not giving them any orders.

Towelie: I'm trying to think of a speech hold on.

Kuby: We've been standing here for 45 minutes.

Huell: Forty five minutes and 43 seconds approximately.

Kuby: Yes thank you Huell.

Huell: You're welcome.

Todd: Where's Randy at?

Towelie: I think he said something about trying to get Walter White admit he's done some bad shit in Albuquerque.

Huell: What did he do?

Towelie: Distribute crystal meth. Because meth is illegal in Albuquerque or something.

Kuby: Yeah, can you hold on a sec?

Kuby exited the room and pulled his phone out and started dialling.

Kuby: Saul we have a huge problem.

Old Marsh residence.

A van parked outside the Marsh residence.

Inside the van.

Hank: Remember make sure you get close to him and get him to admit his crimes.

Randy: Ok. And do you know anything about some kind of weed that has a bit of Blue Sky in it?

Hank: What does this have to do with Walter White?

Randy: It might.

Hank: Just go and make him talk.

Randy exits the van and walks to the front porch.

Randy knocks on the door.

Jesse answered.

Jesse: What do you want? Bitch!

Randy: Can I talk to Walt? I want our rivalry to end.

Jesse: No, but you can speak into the mic.

Jesse rubs his dick at Randy.

Randy: Real mature Jesse!

Walter: Who's there Jesse?

Jesse: It's the bitch.

Walter: Who?

Walter notices Randy.

Walter: Randy what are you doing here?

Randy: Can I come in?

Walter: Jesse let him in.

Jesse: Mr White-

Walter: Now Jesse!

Jesse lets Randy in.

Jesse trips Randy over.

In the van, the crash to the floor from Randy in the house caused the radio monitors to screech.

Hank and Gomez cover their ears.

Meanwhile.

Randy got up off the floor and straightened his shirt and the wire.

Back in the van.

The screeching stopped.

Gomez: What the hell happened?

Hank: I think somebody tripped him up.

Back in the house.

Walter: Jesse I need you to continue cooking the meth while me and Mr Marsh negotiate.

Jesse: Alright Mr White.

Jesse flips off Randy.

Randy flips Jesse back.

Walt and Randy enter the kitchen.

Walter: So, you want us to talk?

Randy: Yes Walt. I want us to start a friendship.

Walter: After everything we've been through?

Randy: It's getting silly and I want us to hang out drinking and eating at barbecues and-

Walter: That's enough. Randy, if we're gonna be friends I think we should start by telling each others secrets.

Randy: What are we? Teenage girls?

Walter: Do you want to be friends?

Randy: Yeah.

Walter: I'll start. Back in Albuquerque. I did distribute meth. I did it because I had cancer and meth makes a lot of money and I wanted to set my family up for life. It's all I wanted Randy. And I did something awful to Jesse. You heard him mentioning somebody called Brock?

Randy: I don't know.

Walter: Brock is the son of Jesse's girlfriend Andrea. He loved him like a son. I poisoned Brock in an effort to get Jesse to turn against Gus. Gus may seem like a nice guy, but he's a monster. He helped distribute the meth and he threatened my family unless me and Jesse made the meth. Than we left Gus and we started working with Neo Nazis. And I regret it. We betrayed them and they tried to kill us. And it wasn't just that, I was also being chased by my brother in law Hank. He works with the DEA. I continued cooking meth because it made me feel alive, I was good at it. And that's one of the reasons why me and my wife split.

Randy: Wow. My secret is I once jacked off to Kate Winslet in Titanic whilst Sharon was out of the room.

Walt stares at Randy.

Walt laughed.

Randy joined in on the laughing

Jesse poked around the corner.

Jesse: What the hell is going on?

Walt and Randy continued laughing.

Jesse just shrugged and joined in on the laughing.

Badger enters the kitchen and notices them laughing.

Badger: Eh, what the hell?

Badger joins in on the laughing.

Meanwhile.

At the motel.

Saul was watching TV.

Saul: Damn 11 Oscar nominations. Way to go Joker.

Suddenly Saul's phone starts ringing.

Saul answered it.

Saul: Hello?...Hey Huell, what is it?...What are you, Kuby, Todd and Towelie making?...a weed mixed in with what?!

Hell's Pass Hospital.

Stan, Shelly, Sharon, Wendy, Mike and Sean were in the waiting room, waiting for news on Deborah.

Sean: So you can walk again?

Stan: Yeah. It does feel kind of weird to be walking again.

Sharon: He's been showing it off mostly.

Stan: No I haven't.

Shelly: Yes you have.

Stan: No I haven't.

A doctor enters the waiting room.

Wendy: Tell us how she is.

Mike: Is she gonna be ok?

Doctor: We did what we could do, but she doesn't have a lot of time left.

Everyone was shocked and worried.

Wendy started to have tears roll down her face.

Doctor: I think it's time you say goodbye to her.

They enter the patient room.

They surround themselves around Deborah.

Wendy: Mom, you can't die.

Deborah: Wendy.

Deborah managed to reach her daughter's hand.

Deborah: Wendy, I want you to be a good girl and look after your Dad and Uncle Mike. Make sure you try to succeed at school and go to college when you're older.

Wendy: I will Mom.

Deborah lets go of Wendy's hand.

Deborah: Sean.

Sean: I'm here Deborah.

Deborah: Don't let my loss stop you from being a good Dad to Wendy. And take care of Uncle Mike.

Sean: Ok Deborah.

Deborah: Stan. Try and be a good boyfriend to Wendy and be there for her when I'm gone.

Stan: I will Deborah.

Deborah: Sharon.

Sharon: Deborah.

Deborah: Don't be a buzzkill around our friends.

Sharon and Deborah laughed.

Deborah: Shelly, be a good girl.

Shelly: Ok. A little too basic if you ask me.

Mike walked to Deborah's bed and held her hand.

Deborah: I'm glad I saw you again.

Mike: I know sweetie.

Deborah: Please look after Wendy and Sean for me when I go.

Mike: I will. I kind of came at a wrong time.

Mike started tearing up.

Deborah: I don't know, seeing you again has been some of the best weeks of my life.

Mike: Same with seeing you.

Deborah smiles at Mike and Mike smiles back.

Deborah closes her eyes and her hand falls from Mike's.

The heart monitor flight-lined meaning that Deborah had passed on.

Wendy starts crying and hugs Stan.

Stan hugged her back.

Sean: Deborah! Deborah!

Sean starts to lie on Deborah's body and cries.

Sharon and Shelly also started tearing up.

Mike left the room.

When he got outside the patient room Mike loads his gun and looks at a sign that said "Funded by Tegridy Farms".

Mike had anger in his eyes and walks up to the sign and tears it down.

Skeeter's bar.

Randy and Walt exit the bar after drinking.

Randy (Drunk): I'll tell you something Walt...I'll tell you something Walt. You are amazing. You are a champ. I'm shit at business you are amazing.

Walter (Drunk): T-t-thank you so much Randy that means so much to me.

Randy (Drunk): I better get h-h-home.

Walter (Drunk): I'll see you later.

Randy starts walking home.

Whilst Randy was walking home, a van parks up right next to him and Gomez and Hank exit the vehicle and grab Randy.

Randy (Drunk): W-w.

They drag Randy into the van.

Randy (Drunk): O-o-oh hey Hank. Hey Gomez.

Hank: We've got bad news champ. The wire wasn't working we gotta check it.

Gomez unbuttons Randy's shirt and starts checking the wire.

Gomez: It's working.

Hank: What?

Hank checks it as well.

Hank: Goddammit it is. Why wasn't it recording anything before?

Randy (Drunk): What do you mean?

Hank: While you were with Walter we didn't manage to pick up any recordings.

Randy (Drunk): That sucks. Although he did give m-me something.

Randy hands Hank a napkin with something in it.

Hank unwraps the napkin and it reveals a funny looking device.

Randy (Drunk): Wh-wh-what is it?

Hank: It's a disruptor. That's why the wire wasn't working. He's one step ahead of us.

Randy stares at Hank with shock and than...

Randy: Oh God!

Randy clenches his stomach.

Randy throws up on Hank.


	22. Douchebag Extermination Agency

We open to Randy in the van with Hank and Gomez.

But Hank was still covered in vomit.

Hank: That smart son of a bitch.

Randy (Drunk): I know. I-I-I outsmarted him before. B-but this is just-

Suddenly Randy throws up on the monitors.

Gomez: Not the monitors.

Hank: Maybe you shouldn't have been drinking. If only there was any evidence to lock up Walt.

Randy (Drunk) I-I-I did manage to write a few notes on a piece of paper at Walt's house.

Gomez: That's good.

Hank: No Gomez it's brilliant. Give us the paper.

Randy: I kind of left it at Walt's house.

Hank: What?!

Walter: I must've left it in the bathroom at his house.

Hank: Do you remember what was on the note?

Old Marsh residence.

Jesse was reading the note and he had anger in his eyes.

Randy (Voice over): Barley.

As Jesse continued to stare on in anger, the camera zooms out and it is revealed that Jesse was taking a shit on the toilet.

* * *

Intro

Starring

Randy Marsh

Bryan Cranston

Towelie

Aaron Paul

Sharon Marsh

Dean Norris

Bob Odenkirk

Jonathan Banks

Wendy Testaburger

Stan Marsh

Shelly Marsh

Title card shows up.

Breaking Tegridy.

* * *

Old Marsh residence.

Walt came to the front porch drunk.

Walt was rummaging through his pockets for the keys.

Jesse opened the door and grabbed Walt.

Jesse: You son of a bitch! I know what you did!

Walter (Drunk) W-w-what are you talking about?

Jesse: You poisoned Brock!

Walter (Drunk): M-m-maybe I did it.

Jesse: I found some written notes in the bathroom titled "Mr White's secrets".

Walter (Drunk): I s-s-swear I have nothing to do with poisoning Brock. Gus did it and Saul knew it.

Jesse: What?! Saul knew you did it!

Walter (Drunk): Specifically G-G-Gus.

Jesse: You bitch!

Jesse throws Walt at the TV and it caused the TV to smash.

Jesse pulls a gun out of his pocket.

Jesse aims it at Walt.

Jesse was tempted to pull the trigger but he doesn't do it.

Saul: Hey Walt I have some news about s-

Saul enters the house and sees Jesse holding a gun at Walt.

Walter (Drunk): H-h-hey Saul.

Jesse aims the gun at Saul.

Jesse: You knew! You knew!

Saul: Knew what?

Jesse pistol whipped Saul.

Jesse: You knew about Walt poisoning Brock!

Saul: I did? How did you figure it out?!

Jesse pistol whipped Saul again.

Saul: You can't kill me I'm your lawyer, but on the other hand if you kill Walt than I'll have to report you. But if you kill Walt and than kill me than you won't have anyone here to defend you.

Jesse continued to point the gun at Saul.

Jesse concealed his weapon.

Jesse: This isn't over.

Jesse left the house.

Saul got up off the floor.

Saul: How did he know?

Walter (Drunk): What are you doing here Saul?

Saul: I'm here to tell you about this new weed from Tegridy Farms.

Walter (Drunk): What's it called? La Diarrea?

Saul: No. It's something else. It's a-

Suddenly Walt threw up on Saul.

Hell's Pass Hospital.

Stan, Wendy, Sharon, Shelly and Sean were in the waiting room after Deborah died.

Wendy was crying on Stan's shoulder and Stan was hugging her.

Sean: I still can't believe she's gone. It's your husband's fault!

Sharon: Why are you yelling at me?

Sean: If you didn't marry Randy and give birth to him (Sean points to Stan) and causing you to get to know Deborah because of your son's connection to my daughter! It was y-

Shelly: Mr Testaburger, it's nobody except my Dad's fault. I get it, you're angry. We're all angry at my Dad, but blaming all of us isn't gonna bring her back.

Sean sighed.

Sean: You're right.

Stan: Where's Mike?

Sean: He's probably gone home.

Wendy stops crying into Stan's shoulder and notices a folded note right next to him.

Wendy: Stan what's that?

Stan picks up the note.

Stan: It says "read me".

Sean: Read it.

Stan unfolds the note.

Stan: Dear Mr Potter. I can't believe you decide-

A guy walked past.

Guy: Sorry that's mine.

Stan: Oh Sorry.

Stan hands the paper back to the guy.

Stan: Sorry.

Guy: I think this one's yours.

The guy hands Stan another piece of folded paper.

Guy: Some heavy shit's in here.

Sean: Well Stan, you read it.

Stan unfolds the piece of paper.

Stan: Dear Sean, Wendy, Stan, Sharon and-

Mike (Voice over): Shelly. There's a reason why I'm not here. I've gone to try and kill Randy Marsh for what he did to my niece. Now when I say kill, I mean literally not metaphorically. When I get hired by Gus he usually sends me on deliveries or killing rival drug dealers. So Sean you were right about having doubts about me. I'm a bad person, Wendy was the only one who knew about it. And I didn't wanna tell Deborah because I was scared of what she'd think of me.I'm telling you this because I'm scared that I might die. So whatever you think of me right now, understand that I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't honest with you and I'm sorry if my connections with my job might put you in danger.

As the voice over went on, Mike is seen preparing his weapons. They include a sniper and a pistol. Than he was driving his car to Tegridy Farms. He is seen asking Towelie where Randy is. Mike goes to the old Marsh residence to see if Randy was there but he wasn't. Than he goes to the bar where Randy was last seen and he wasn't there. Mike visits the courthouse where the bombing took place. It was under construction. Mike shed a tear at the sight.

Stan: So I'm gonna gonna hunt down Randy Marsh until he's dead.

Sean was shocked after hearing Stan reading the note out loud.

Sharon placed her hand on Sean's shoulder.

Sharon: I know this must be hard for you Sean. First your wife died and than her Uncle turns out to be somebody who's killed people for a living.

Sean: If he's gonna kill, he better kill Randy.

Guy: Wow that was some, like, wow.

Sean: You're still here?

Guy: I have a weird habit of listening to people read notes out loud.

The next day.

Old Marsh residence.

Jesse bursts into the house with a tank of gasoline and starts to pour it all over the house.

Jesse: I'll teach that bitch!

Jesse continues pouring the gasoline all over the house, he stops when he hears a gun click.

Jesse turns around and sees Hank and Gomez pointing their guns at him.

Hank: Jesse, don't. I know what Walt did was bad, but burning down his house isn't gonna solve anything.

Randy pops out of the corner.

Randy: Hi Jesse!

Jesse: What do you want?

Hank: There's an alternative.

Jesse: What is it?

Hank: We were looking for a note that has evidence against Walter White and we were wondering where it is.

Randy: I left my note in the bathroom but it wasn't there.

Jesse: That was your note?

Jesse pulls a scrunched up piece of paper out of his pocket and throws it to Randy.

Randy catches it.

Randy unravels the paper.

Randy: Yup, this is mine.

Randy hands Hank the paper.

Hank starts to read it.

Hank: This isn't enough. It would look like a crazy person wrote this.

Gomez: But Jesse and Walt work with each other, so chances are he might have evidence against Walt.

Hank: And if you do, we can reduce your prison sentence to a minimum. Does that sound good?

Jesse takes a moment to think.

Jesse: I'm in bitch.

Hank: Great. And I don't think you should burn this house down. It's a nice house. I think me and my wife sh-

Suddenly the sound of a match being lit was heard.

They turn to see Randy about to drop the match.

Hank: Randy!

Randy: Oh. We aren't gonna burn it?

Hank: No!

Later.

In the van.

Hank: Are we clear about the plan?

Jesse: Yeah. Completely flawless yo.

Randy: Totally. Let me call Towelie, I better tell him where we're going.

Hank: Gomez, get going.

The van starts to drive away, but the van was unknowingly being followed by a car.

Meanwhile.

Walt was driving his car to Tegridy Farms.

Walt makes it to Tegridy Farms.

Walt knocks on the door and Huell answered.

Huell: Yeah?

Walter: Huell? What are you doing here?

Huell: Undercover op.

Walter: Where's Randy? Never mind I know he's working for Hank. I'm here for Towelie.

Huell: He and Todd went to some location that's in the middle of fuck all.

Walter: Todd? Todd who?

Suddenly Walt's phone started ringing.

Walter: Hello?

_Jesse: I got your money bitch. And me and Randy are gonna burn it. So get over there quickly. I'll text you the coordinates._

The phone hangs up and Walt here's a text ringtone and starts reading the text.

Huell looks over Walt to look at the text.

Huell: That's the location Towelie and Todd are heading.

Walt stares at Huell in fear.

Huell: And by that face, them guys are gonna be in deep shit.

Later.

Walter was driving in his car as fast as he could to the location.

All of a sudden the car broke down.

Walter: Shit! No!

Walt starts hitting the car to try and make it start.

Walter: Fuck!

Walter gets out of the car and starts running.

Walter makes it to the location and sees Randy and Jesse about to burn the money that was stored in a barrel.

Randy: Hi bitch!

Jesse: No, that's my thing.

Randy: Oh yeah I forgot.

Walter: The money isn't important right n-

Suddenly the sound of a gun being clocked was heard.

Gomez: Put your hands up.

Walter puts his hand up.

Hank: Hi Walt. It's been a while.

Walter: Hank. But-

Hank: Me and Gomez went rogue to find you. And now we did. It's about time you got in that car so we can drive you to Albuquerque to stand trial. We got all the evidence we need.

Walter: Listen to me you're in-

Gomez pistol whips Walt.

Hank: Gomez! We're supposed to arrest him, not kill him.

Hank puts the handcuffs on Walt.

Hank and Gomez take Walt to the car and put him in.

Hank and Gomez walk up to Jesse and Randy.

Gomez: Well done Randy.

Randy shakes both Hank and Gomez hands.

Hank: You too Jesse. But you still have to stand trial in Albuquerque along with Walt.

Jesse: I understand. Just as long as Mr White gets what he deserves.

Suddenly the sound of something coming from the distance was heard.

Hank, Gomez, Jesse and Randy notice 3 cars heading their way.

Gomez: What is this? Backup?

Hank: If it was backup I would've told you and given them our location.

The 3 cars park up and about 12 men exited the vehicles. Including Towelie.

Hank and Gomez stare at the vehicles confused.

Jesse: No.

Hank: Who are these assholes?

Towelie: Hey Randy!

Jesse examines the men and notices Todd.

Jesse: Get down!

The 12 men pulled guns out of their pockets and start shooting at Mike and Gomez.

Mike and Gomez pulled their guns out of their pockets and start shooting back.

Randy and Jesse hid behind a nearby rock.

Whilst Walt was laying on the back seat to hopefully miss the gunfire.

The shootout continued whilst Towelie just watches the whole ordeal while smoking a joint.

Towelie: Keep it down! I'm trying to get high!


	23. Escape From South Park

We open to Huell making some weed with Kuby and Todd.

Towelie entered the room.

Towelie: Hey Huell, Kuby, Todd can you come over here?

Huell: Sure.

Huell, Kuby and Todd follow Towelie.

(A/N: This is set around the same time as Secrets).

Towelie: I wanna show you something that I've been working on with a partner of mine.

Towelie opens the door and revealing something that glows right in Huell, Kuby and Todd's faces.

Kuby: Where is that orange glow coming from?

Towelie: Sorry, I left it in there for dramatic effect.

Towelie turns off the glow and reveals to them a pile of weed.

Todd: Weed?

Towelie: It's not just weed, it's weed and blue sky.

Huell, Kuby and Todd were surprised.

Kuby: Does Marsh know about this?

Towelie: Not really. Neither does Walt. My partner is Jesse. We made this product so Randy and Walt could end their rivalry. We sold a shit ton of the product for a couple of weeks and it's been making a lot of money.

Todd: What's the name of weed?

Towelie: Me and Jesse called it Tegridy Blue Sky.

Everyone was staring at Towelie with shock on their faces.

Huell: So we're making this?

Towelie: That's goddam right.

Later.

Huell, Kuby, Towelie and Todd were making the Tegridy Blue Sky.

Huell: Having a break here boss.

Towelie: Don't talk to me like I'm some hard ass. And I will allow you to have your break.

Huell exited the room and pulled his phone out of his pocket and started dialling.

Huell:...Hi Saul...Me, Kuby, Todd and Towelie are making some kind of special weed...it's a weed mixed in with Blue Sky.

* * *

Intro

Starring

Randy Marsh

Bryan Cranston

Towelie

Aaron Paul

Sharon Marsh

Dean Norris

Bob Odenkirk

Jonathan Banks

Wendy Testaburger

Stan Marsh

Shelly Marsh

Title card shows up.

Breaking Tegridy.

* * *

Present.

Walter was still lying on the back seat in the car.

The gunfight had stopped, but Walt wasn't so sure if he should try to pull himself up.

Suddenly the car door opened and two guys grabbed Walt.

They stood him up right next to Randy, Towelie and Jesse.

Randy: Friends of yours Walt?

Walter: Friends? They aren't my friends. They were acquaintances.

A middle aged man with a neck tattoo of a Swastika on the right side of his neck, approaches the four.

Man: Well, well, well. The men of the hour.

Randy: Who are you?

Man: Where are my manners? My name is Jack Welker. Have you met my nephew Todd?

Todd waved at Randy, Walter, Towelie and Jesse.

Jack: Do you have any idea who we are?

Towelie: Uh...the cast of Sons of Anarchy?

Jack and his crew laughed.

Jack: You think you're funny don't you?

Randy: Who are you anyway?

Jesse: They're neo nazis.

Randy: Aww shit!

Jack: Yes "Aww shit". Didn't the neck tattoo give you a clue?

Suddenly a hand grabbed Jack by the leg.

Jack kicked the hand off of him.

Jack: You're still alive?

Hank: Damn straight. You killed Gomez you son of a bitch.

Randy, Walter, Towelie and Jesse see the body of Gomez.

Randy: Aww! Not Gomez, everyone liked him.

Towelie: He looked like a buzzkill.

Jack: Three shots to the leg and you're still breathing.

Jack chuckled.

Jack: You are one stupid cop.

Walter: Jack. I've got a lot of money. Let him live.

Jack: And why should I? He's just a stupid fed.

Walter: He's my brother-in-law.

Jack: This fed?

Randy: So wait, the Hank who was chasing Walt is Hank, his brother-in law? I thought them two weren't the same person.

Walter: Yes. I have a lot of money Jack, I could give you money. Just let him live.

Jack: Sounds tempting, what do you think fed?

Hank: My name is ASAC Schrader and you can go fuck your self.

Neo Nazis: OOOOOOOOOOO!

Towelie: Badass son of a bitch.

Walter: Hank! What are you doing?! He's gonna kill you!

Hank: What do you want me to do Walt? Beg? Walt, you're the smartest guy I ever met and you're too stupid to see he made up his mind 10 minutes ago.

Walter: Hank. No.

Randy: Hey Jack, I have more money than Walt and maybe I c-

Hank: Randy Marsh. You can shut up. Like I said, he made up his mind 10 minutes ago.

Walter had a tear fall down his face.

Walter: Hank! Please.

Hank: Do what you gotta do.

Suddenly Jack shot Hank in the head killing him.

Walter stares on in shock and sadness.

Walter falls to the ground crying.

Randy: NOOOOOOOOO! Everybody liked him.

Jack: Now. Take the two creators away.

Randy: You can take me as prisoner but you will never take m-

The neo Nazis grabbed Towelie and Jesse instead.

Randy: Hey! Why aren't you taking me?

Jack: Because you weren't the one who created Tegridy Blue Sky.

Walter: What?

Randy: Towelie?

Towelie: Ok. On the first day we met Walt, I stole a bit of Blue Sky from him. And I mixed it in with the weed and it was greatest high in my life. I told Jesse a few days later and than that's when we decided to do this as a way to make your rivalry with Walt end. I'm sorry Randy.

Jack uncuffed Walt and Randy.

Jack: I'll give you two half an hour to leave this mountain town. And when you do, I want you two to never return. Or we'll kill you.

Jesse: NO! NO!

Walt was walking up to Jesse, but Jack stopped him.

Jack: Try and rescue him or the towel-

Towelie: You're a towel.

Jack: (Sighed) Point is Walt, we'll kill you if you try to rescue them two.

Jack got in his car.

Jesse: NO! No! No!

The nazis dragged Jesse and Towelie into the vehicle.

Jack: Todd, you coming?

Todd: Hold on.

Todd approached Randy.

Todd: And FYI, I blew up the courthouse that day and I sent you that anonymous text. I didn't want you to get sued or go to prison. I'm pretty much a big fan of your product.

Todd entered the car.

Walt couldn't help but stare at Hank's body.

Walter: I'm sorry Hank.

Walter used his hand to close Hank's eyes.

Randy: This is your fault.

Walter: How is this my fault?

Randy: If you didn't show up in South Park than I wouldn't be in this mess.

Walter: My fault? If you didn't overreact over me beating you than you wouldn't have messed with Tuco, messed with Gus and Hank would've still been alive!

Randy: Ok the first two are understandable, but how is Hank's death my fault?

Walter: Because you hired Todd to work for you!

Randy: How was I supposed to know he was a Neo Nazi?!

Walter grabbed Randy by the head and forced him to look at Hank's body.

Walter: Look at this! Look at this!

Randy punches Walt and Walt lets go of Randy.

Walter tackles Randy and starts to punch him repeatedly.

Randy kicked Walt off of him.

Randy grabbed the gun that was right beside Hank's corpse.

Randy aimed the gun at Walt.

Walter: Are you gonna kill me?

Randy: Maybe.

Randy was about to pull the trigger until a gunshot was heard and the bullet hit the ground beside Randy's foot.

Randy: What the f-

Suddenly another gunshot was heard and the bullet hit the gun out of Randy's hand.

Randy: Aww shit!

Walter: Run!

The person who was firing the gun was Mike, who was on a mountain and was using a sniper.

He was aiming his sniper for Randy.

Mike: Hold still you son of a bitch.

Meanwhile.

Randy and Walt hid behind a rock.

Randy: Can he see us?

But Mike had his sight on Randy.

Mike: Oh I see you, you son of a bitch. This is for my niece.

Mike was about to pull the trigger, but he stopped himself.

Mike lies in his sniper position thinking.

Mike: I'm sorry Deborah.

Mike packed up his sniper rifle and started to make his way off the mountain.

Meanwhile Walt and Randy was listening out to see if the shooting stopped.

Randy: I think it stopped.

Walt and Randy exited the rock.

Randy: Ha! Pussy!

Randy was doing a celebratory dance.

Walter: Randy! We need to get out of here.

Randy: Where will we go?

Walter: I say we drive to Albuquerque. There's somebody in Albuquerque named Ed. He can help me give me a new life.

Randy: What about me?

Walter: Maybe you could live in Albuquerque.

Randy: What?! It's a shithole!

Walter: There's only one car and you're my ride.

Randy: Fine. I'm scared what you might do to me anyway.

Walter does a punching motion to Randy.

Randy flinched.

Walter: You flinched.

Meanwhile.

Testaburger residence.

Sean, Wendy, Stan, Sharon and Shelly were mourning the loss of Deborah.

Sean: When did you learn Mike was a killer?

Wendy sighed.

Wendy: He told me after he saved Stan's life from those scary hitmen. I might've figured after he killed one of them.

Sean: I knew Mike could've been bad, but I didn't know he was that bad.

Mike: I know I was.

Everyone gasped to see Mike standing in the kitchen.

Sean: Mike?

Sharon: Did you kill Randy?

Mike: I had a change of heart.

Stan: What?!

Shelly: My Dad deserved to die!

Mike: I know he did, but-

Sean: But what?! Because of him my wife is dead!

Mike: I couldn't pull the trigger because I made a promise!

Sharon: Promise?

Mike: Before Deborah died I made a promise I'd take care of you and when I had Randy Marsh in my sights I couldn't do it because I heard Deborah telling me to take care of Sean and Wendy. So I couldn't do it. I'm sorry if that was disappointing.

Stan: What did you do with my Dad?

Mike: I think he's leaving. And I think he and Walt killed two guys.

Everyone gasped.

Shelly: Two guys?

Mike: I don't know who they were, but they looked like the kind of people everyone liked.

Sharon: Oh.

Sean: What about money? Deborah made more than me.

Saul showed up behind the corner.

Saul: Maybe this might help.

Mike: This is my lawyer Saul Goodman. Why were you hiding behind the corner?

Saul: Dramatic effect.

Sean: How can you help us?

Saul: Well, here's a secret.

Saul handed Sean a will.

Saul: It was Gus' will. He didn't want to give his money out to anybody, but I hired a guy to do a little bit of forgery.

Shelly: Isn't that illegal?

Saul: It's South Park. Everything we do is illegal.

Meanwhile.

Jesse and Towelie were led into a room by the neo Nazis.

Neo Nazi: This is where you two will be making the Tegridy Blue Sky.

Towelie: Will I get room service?

Later.

Towelie and Jesse had chains wrapped around their legs so they couldn't escape.

Jesse was scared but Towelie was kind of chilled about it.

Towelie: I don't know, this might be fun. As long as I get payed in weed.

Neo Nazi: Actually you won't

Towelie: What?

Neo Nazi: We're not gonna pay you with weed. You're in chains, that means you're our slave and you're not getting payed.

Towelie falls to his knees.

Towelie: NOOOOOOOO!

Meanwhile.

Walt and Randy made it to Albuquerque.

The car parked up outside a vacuum cleaner store.

Randy: This is the guy? A vacuum cleaner salesman?

Walter: That's what I've heard.

Walt was about to exit the car until he heard a gun clicking.

Randy: Don't think I'm done with you.

Walter was about to escape until Randy locked the car from the inside.

Walter: Randy, I think you're making a mistake.

Randy: I don't know. Am I? I got into this mess because of you. And I will kill you before you exit that car.

Walter: What will you do after you kill me?

Randy: Have a new life knowing that you're dead.

Walter: There's a problem Randy-

Randy: Shut up!

Randy pulled the trigger and there was nothing.

Walter: While you were at the bathroom two hours away from our destination.

Walter fired two shots at Randy's leg.

Randy: AAAAHHHH!

Walter: I switched your gun with mine.

Walter reaches over to Randy's side and presses the button that unlocks the car.

Walter: There's two options Marsh, chase me and you bleed to death or you find somewhere where you'll be taken to a nearby hospital.

Walter exited the car.

Randy was holding onto his leg to try and stop the bleeding.

Randy: Fuck...you.


	24. Building Up

We open to a bar where a man enters.

The man looked about 45 years old and he had a beard.

The man took a seat on a bar stool.

Man: I'll have a drink.

Bartender: You gotta be specific on what drink you want.

Man: I'll just have a beer.

Bartender: Coming up Marsh.

The man turned out to be none other than Randy Marsh.

Another man took a seat at the barstool.

Man: Yeah, I'll have a whisky.

The other man was Saul Goodman.

Randy: Hi Saul.

Saul: Thank Christ I found you.

Randy: What do you want Saul?

Saul: I've looked all over Albuquerque for two days trying to find your ass, things have gotten wild in South Park.

Randy drank his beer.

Randy: How wild?

Randy stares at Saul before he accidentally burps.

* * *

Intro

Starring

Randy Marsh

Bryan Cranston

Towelie

Aaron Paul

Sharon Marsh

Bob Odenkirk

Jonathan Banks

Wendy Testaburger

Stan Marsh

Shelly Marsh

Title card shows up.

Breaking Tegridy.

* * *

After the intro we cut to Randy and Saul walking in the park.

Randy: Why should I listen to you? You killed Gerald.

Saul: I did not kill Gerald and why did you decide that we should walk instead of me telling the story at the bar?

Randy: I don't know, it's a nice night.

Suddenly a guy with a gun holds the two at gunpoint.

Criminal: Money! Now!

Saul punches the criminal knocking him out.

Randy: I would've given him some money.

Saul: Really?

Randy: Yeah.

Saul: Anyway let me tell you-

Randy: How about I tell you what happened to me first?

Saul: Actually-

Randy: Let me tell you my story first because I know why you're wondering about the beard and why I decided to stay in Albuquerque or otherwise I won't listen to you.

1 year earlier.

Randy is seen driving his car.

His hand was on the wheel whilst his other is holding onto the leg wound.

Randy parked up outside a car wash.

Randy bursts into the building.

A woman at the counter notices Randy.

She looked like she was in her late forties and had blonde hair.

Woman at the counter: Can I help you?

Randy: Help!

Randy collapsed.

Woman at the counter: Oh my God!

The woman approaches Randy.

Woman from the counter: Can you tell me what happened?

The woman tapped Randy's face.

Woman: I'm gonna get you an ambulance.

Randy (Narrating): And that woman's name was Skyler White.

We than cut to Randy and Skyler having dinner together.

Randy (Narrating): After that we started dating and I met her daughter Holly and her son Walt Jr.

We than cut to Randy making breakfast for Walt Jr.

Randy (Narrating): Everyday I make Walt Jr. breakfast. I'm starting to think that's his only character trait. He really likes breakfast.

As Randy handed Walt Jr. his breakfast Randy noticed a picture of Walter White.

Randy (Narrating): But what I didn't know about Skyler, she was married to Walter White. I was planning on telling her I knew him, but I decided no. I don't want my connection with Walt to cause any conflict.

We than cut to a wedding.

And Randy and Skyler were the ones getting married.

Randy (Narrating): Five months later me and Skyler got married. And we've been happily married ever since.

We cut to Randy at a counter selling cinnamon buns.

Randy (Narrating): And for work I have a day shift at a Cinnabon every weekday. I spend most of my Saturday's at the bar. Skyler doesn't mind.

We cut to Randy and Saul getting ice cream.

Randy: Unlike some people.

Saul: When were we buying ice cream? Doesn't matter. At least I got chocolate.

Saul licked the ice cream.

Saul: Can I tell you my story?

Randy: Later, I want you to give me updates on my old family.

We cut to the old Marsh residence.

Saul (Narrating): Sharon, Stan and Shelly moved back into the old house.

We see Stan and Shelly entering the house.

Saul (Narrating): The house was expensive but thanks to little old me I managed to give them money so they could buy it.

Stan: Hey Mom.

Sharon: Hi Stan. How was school?

Stan: It was fine Mom.

Shelly: Anyone gonna ask me?

Sharon: How was your day?

Shelly: Ok I guess.

Sharon: You guess? What happened?

Shelly: Kevin McCormick was making fun of me because of my connection with Dad. He kept calling me a murderer's daughter.

Sharon: I'll be right back.

Later.

McCormick residence.

Sharon was knocking on the door.

Carol answered.

Carol: Sharon, what brings you here?

Sharon: I want a word with your son.

Carol: Ok. Kenny!

Sharon: The other one.

Carol: Never mind Kenny! Kevin!

Kevin walks into the living room.

Sharon: Hi Kevin. Listen I want a word with you abo-

Kevin: Wife of a murderer.

Sharon: Uh ok? I ne-

Kevin: Murderer's wife.

Carol: I'm sorry he's kind of drunk. Kevin! You will tr-

Kevin: Shut up whore! And leave me alone you whore of a murderer.

Suddenly Sharon grabbed Kevin's bottle and smashed it.

Sharon: If you continue giving my family a bad reputation than I will destroy every bottle of alcohol you ever own. You got that you little shit?!

Stuart (Off-Screen): You better listen to her Kevin!

Carol: Shut up Stuart this has nothing to do with you!

Kevin: I'll stop. I'll stop.

Saul (Narrating): So, Stan and Shelly are doing well. Sharon has two jobs. She's still working at Tom's Rhinoplasty and also has kitchen duties at City Wok.

We than cut to Saul and Randy now at a bowling alley.

Randy: And is Stan still with that girl?

Saul: Of course he is. Them two are inseparable. And how did we get to the bowling alley?

Randy: How's Mike?

Saul: He hates you.

Randy: Oh.

Saul: But life-wise.

We cut to Mike driving in his car with Sean sitting on the passenger seat and Wendy sitting in the back seat.

Saul (Narrating): He's been taking care of the Testaburgers after he tried to kill you.

Randy (Interrupting the narration): He did what?!

Saul (Narrating): He wanted to kill you. But he didn't because he remembered a promise he made to Deborah before she died.

Randy (Interrupting the narration again): Deborah's dead?!

Saul sighed.

Mike parked up his car outside the school.

Mike: Have a great day at school sweetie.

Wendy: Ok Uncle Mike.

Wendy got out of the car and started walking with her friends.

Mike: She's gonna have a bright future. I know she is.

Mike starts the car up.

Sean: So Mike, you killed people?

Mike: One year of me living at your house and you think now is the best time to ask me?

Sean: Yeah.

Mike: I started killing back in my cop days. I killed people if they had a weapon, I also killed the corrupt cops that killed my son.

Sean: So were a lot of those guys bad?

Mike: Most of them. But I'm not too sure about the people I've been sent to kill by Gus. Pretty sure some were good and some were bad.

Sean: Well I don't care about that Mike. You know I never said this before, but you're not a bad person. You're a bad motherfucker.

Mike chuckled at the compliment.

Mike: Nobody's called me that until now.

Saul (Narrating): Sean's still working, but Mike decided to come out of retirement by working as a janitor at City Wok.

We than cut to Saul and Randy at the theatre watching a movie.

Saul: How did we- Doesn't matter.

Randy: What about the farm? Who's running it?

Saul: Huell and Kuby.

Randy: Those two?

Saul: Yeah. This might shock you, but Huell and Kuby are spies sent by me so they could keep an eye on you.

Randy glared at Saul.

Randy: How about you Saul? What did you do?

We fade to Mayor McDaniels giving a speech.

Saul (Narrating): This might surprise you.

Mayor McDaniels: This man was recently discovered as the man who saved the lives of a lot of people during the terrorist attack on the courthouse one year ago. He's our towns best lawyer. People, let's give it up for Saul Goodman.

Saul walked on stage.

Saul: Hello. I don't really have a speech planned. So I'll just say, I thought it was the right thing to do.

Everyone cheered.

Mayor McDaniels: And for your bravery Saul, we present you the key to the city.

Mayor McDaniels hands Saul the key to the city.

Mayor McDaniels offered Saul to shake her hand, but Saul instead grabbed her and kissed her.

They disconnected and the Mayor was shocked.

Saul: Hope I didn't me too ya.

Mayor McDaniels (Whispering): My place, 5:30.

Saul did a cheeky grin.

Mayor McDaniels: Everyone give it up for Saul Goodman.

Everyone cheered.

We cut to Saul walking down the street until something caught his attention.

Saul (Narrating): And after the event I noticed something that caught my attention.

Saul notices a stall selling some kind of weed.

Saul (Narrating): I bought the weed and analysed it and I realised that it was Tegridy Blue Sky.

We cut to Randy and Saul who were still in the theatre.

Randy: They're alive?

Saul: Looks like it.

Randy: But they were kidnapped. Are they keeping them alive?

We cut to Jesse and Towelie making the Tegridy Blue Sky.

Saul (Narrating): Or they did keep them alive, until they figured out the ingredients and killed them after.

Jesse: Bitch!

Towelie: You said it.

Towelie starts smoking a bud.

Until a Neo Nazi took the joint off of him.

Towelie: Aww.

We cut back to Randy and Saul who were still in the theatre.

Saul: So there's your update. And we haven't changed location for once.

Randy was getting out of his seat.

Saul: Where are you going?

Randy: Back to South Park.

Saul: Are you crazy?!

Randy: I'm sorry. But you came all the way down from South Park to Albuquerque. I thought you wanted my help.

Saul: No I came to warn you. You and Walt have been framed for the murder of-

Moviegoer: SSSSHHHH!

Saul: You "SSSSSHHHHH". Point is you and Walt have been accused of murdering Hank and Gomez because of a witness report from Mike.

Randy: Well I'm going back to South Park.

Saul: Are you crazy?

Randy: No. I'm brave.

Randy left the theatre.

Saul: The retarded son of a bitch.

The next day.

The new Marsh residence.

Randy was talking with Skyler.

Skyler: So you're going back to South Park? How long will that be?

Randy: I don't know. And I don't know if I'll come back. Because what I'm gonna do is a suicide mission.

Skyler: Suicide?! Randy why are you putting yourself in danger? Are we in danger?

Randy: You're not in danger, neither am I. I am the danger.

Randy was about to leave the house.

Randy: Listen. I know I didn't say this before. I know your ex-husband. We didn't get along. And he was the one who shot me in the leg on the day we met. I didn't tell you because I didn't wanna cause any worry or conflict. I'm going back to South Park to do the right thing, clear my name and say "Fuck you" to my ex-wife.

Randy left the house.

Later.

Vacuum cleaner store.

Randy entered the store and walked up to the desk clerk.

The desk clerk looked very elderly and looked like he actually enjoyed what he did.

Desk clerk: Can I help you?

Randy: Are you the one?

Desk clerk: I wish I was.

Randy: Oh. Can you tell Ed I'm looking for him.

Desk clerk: Ed Galbraith?

Randy: I don't know his last name but apparently he can help give people new lives.

Desk clerk: That's him and that's me.

Randy: You're Ed?

Ed: Exactly.

Randy: Have people ever mistook you for Robert Forster?

Ed: Who?

Randy: He was nominated for an Oscar for J-

Ed: I don't have time for a biography. What do you want? Do you want a new life?

Randy: No. I'm looking for somebody you helped gave a new life. And his name is Walter White.

Ed: I'm not allowed to give locations of people I helped.

Randy: Why not?

Ed: Because I don't know who you are. You could be a cop, a criminal or a rival gang member.

Randy: I'm neither of those. Although I was a rival of his back in South Park. And I'm not kidding. I need his help. Please tell me where Walt is.

Ed: How do I know you're not lying?

Randy: Because I need his help. My partner and his partner are being held prisoner by Neo Nazis and I need his help to free them.

Ed: Well I haven't heard anybody use an excuse like that before. But more importantly, sounds very convincing. And you're not looking for Walt anymore, you're looking for Vince Glover.

Ed hands Randy a card.

Randy: I'll ask Vince where Walt is and-

Ed: Oh my God! Do you not get it?

Randy: No.

Ed sighed.

2 days later.

Randy made it to the location which turned out to be Alaska.

He found the address of this "Vince Glover".

He knocked on the door until he saw a note on the door that said "At bar".

Randy went to the nearest bar.

Randy enters the bar.

Randy approached a bar patron.

Randy: Excuse me, do you know a Vince Glover?

Bar patron: I know a lot of Vince Glovers. You're a Vince Glover.

The bar patron laughed.

Voice: Now I know that voice.

Randy saw a man sitting on a barstool.

Randy: And I know that voice.

The man got off the barstool and approached Randy.

It was Walt, but he had a beard as well.

Walter: You've copied my beard.

Randy: Not really, yours is ginger.

Walter laughed.

Walter: What are you doing here anyway?

Randy: Walt I need your help.

Walter: Help. I'm sorry Randy I can't.

Randy: Why?! Because you haven't forgiven me for trying to kill you? Because of what I am?

Walter: Randy, it's none of those.

Walt sighed.

Walter: My cancer's back. I don't know if I can.

Randy: Walt, I need your help to help me rescue Towelie.

Walter: He's just a stupid towel.

Randy: He's not a towel, he's a friend. A friend I'd be damn upset if I lost.

Walter sat back down on the bar stool and drank his whisky.

Randy: Jesse's alive.

The sound of the bar door opened was heard and than the sound of it closing was heard.

Walter got out of his seat.

Walter: Randy! Wait!

Randy was sitting on a barstool.

Randy: I'm right here. I've been driving for 60 hours and I need a drink. Do we have a plan?

Walter: Actually there's something I've been planning to use for a while.


	25. El Final

We open to a car parking outside the building that used to be Broflovski and Goodman's, now just called Goodman's.

A man exited the car and it was Randy.

Randy marvels at the sign.

Randy: Things change sometimes.

Suddenly Randy heard the sound of a bag crashing onto the ground.

Randy turned his eyes to where the noise came from, which turned out to be Shelly who was the one who dropped her bag.

Randy: Hello Shelly.

Shelly stares at Randy in shock.

Randy: What do you think of my beard?

* * *

Intro

Starring

Randy Marsh

Bryan Cranston

Towelie

Aaron Paul

Sharon Marsh

Bob Odenkirk

Jonathan Banks

Wendy Testaburger

Stan Marsh

Shelly Marsh

Title card shows up.

Breaking Tegridy.

* * *

We fade to Tegridy Farms.

The car parked up and Randy and Walt exit the vehicle.

Randy: Are Huell and Kuby hard to make a compromise with?

Walter: Huell usually likes to do as he's told. But he hates crazy motherfuckers not doing as they are told. Kuby isn't as difficult.

They walk up to the front porch.

Randy: Are you gonna knock?

Walter: Your house, I think you should be the one who's knocking.

Randy knocked on the door.

Badger answered.

Badger: Can I help you bearded gentlemen?

Walter: I have a beard? Never mind, Badger it's me.

Badger stares at Walt for a moment.

Badger: Holt shit! Walter White it's so good to see you!

Badger hugs Walt.

Randy: Don't I get a hug?

Badger: No. Unless you pay me 10 grand.

Randy: Aww.

Badger: Come in gentlemen, come in.

Walter: We want to see your boss.

Later.

Huell and Kuby were sitting on the seat across from Walt and Randy.

Randy:...And that's why we need your help.

Kuby: Why do you need us? You just sat down and said "And that's why we need your help".

Randy: We're putting together an army to rescue Jesse and Towelie from the Neo Nazis.

Kuby: Neo Nazis?!

Badger: Jesse's alive?!

Huell: They dead.

Walter: What?!

Randy: What do you mean they're dead?!

Huell: Ain't it obvious? They were captured by Neo Nazis. They be dead by the time they have enough of them. Which should be now actually.

Randy: So you're not coming?

Kuby: I'm coming. So I can teach them not to fuck with our business.

Huell: I'll be coming. Mainly because these mofos need to be taught a lesson.

Kuby: How about you Badger?

Badger: I'm not working with the crazy bearded freak!

Randy: You mean him or me?

Badger: You.

Randy: Dammit. Why don't you wanna work with me?!

Badger: Because you blew up a courthouse and caused a champagne bottle to be lodged in my leg.

Randy: How is that scientifically possible?

Huell: That is the smartest thing I've heard you say in a while.

Randy: Shut up Huell! Kuby, tell your guy to shut up.

Kuby: Actually Huell is my boss.

Randy: He is?

Kuby: Yeah. Tell him Huell.

Huell: That be damn straight.

Randy: Oh ok. But Badger, I didn't blow up the courthouse. It was the Neo Nazis. Why would I blow up a courthouse that also had me on the inside.

Badger: You raise a good point actually.

Walter: What do you say?

Badger: You had me at "rescue Jesse".

Randy: And Towelie.

Badger: Mainly Jesse.

Later.

Kern residence.

Randy and Walt were sitting on a couch.

Randy: We need your help to rescue Jessie and-

Jimbo: Shut the fuck up, I'm in.

Walter and Randy sat shocked.

Walter: Just like that?

Jimbo: I haven't really done anything useful around here so, rescue mission sounds something useful I can do.

Randy: Ok than.

South Park elementary.

Randy and Walt were sitting on two separate chairs.

Randy: We could really use your help.

PC Principal: Why would I wanna help you?

Randy: Be-

Walter: Because we're dealing with Neo Nazis.

PC Principal jumped out of his seat and flipped his desk.

PC Principal: Neo fucking Nazis?!

Randy: Uh yeah.

PC Principal: Despite you two being criminals, I'm in.

Later.

Testaburger residence.

Walt and Randy were standing on the front porch.

Randy knocks on the door and Mike answered.

Mike: Nope.

Mike closed the door on them.

Randy knocks again and Mike answers again.

Mike: Go away.

Mike closed the door on them.

Randy knocked on the door again.

Mike answered.

Mike: I'll call the cops.

Walt uses his foot to stop the door from closing.

Walter: Mike, listen to us.

Mike: Alright and if I don't like it, I'll call the cops.

Later.

In the kitchen.

Randy: So we obviously need you because of how much of a badass you are. We need you to help us rescue Jesse and Towelie.

Mike: Why should I help you? I would help Walt despite how I feel about you. But you on the other hand, you're a monster. You blew up the courthouse and killed my niece.

Randy: If I did blow up the courthouse why didn't I try and escape when it was about to set off.

Mike: A risk. To make yourself look innocent. Even if it killed you. But instead of you dying, my niece died instead.

Walter: Listen Mike, I thought it was Randy for a long time until Todd told Randy he did it.

Mike: Todd?

Walter: Yes.

Mike: Todd Alquist?

Randy: Yeah I think that was his name. You know him?

Mike: I was fooling you. I don't know him. But I know how famous he is. He and his uncle are selling that Tegridy Blue Sky. I will not believe you one bit.

Randy: Mike I am telling the truth. It was some psychotic twenty year old.

Mike glared at Randy.

Mike: I have my doubts working with you Marsh, but since I haven't seen Jesse for a year and I haven't gotten a call from him, I'll come to save his life.

Randy: Alright!

Mike: But once we're done, promise me I get the chance to kill you.

Randy: I don't-

Mike: Than I'm not helping you.

Randy: OK!

Walter: He got you there.

Randy: I know. He just has that glare that says "I'm old and badass".

Later.

Stark's Pond.

Randy and Walt were staring at the pleasant view.

Randy: I forgot how beautiful it was.

Walt coughed.

Walter: Same.

Randy: Your cough's getting worse.

Walter: Cancer remember?

Randy: Oh.

Walter: Randy, if we win I want you to do a favour for me.

Randy: What?

Walter: Kill me.

Randy stares at Walt in shock.

Randy: Why?

Walter: I can't live with this cancer any longer. I'm tired of living with this pain, I want you to shoot me in the head. It will be quick.

Randy: Best day ever!

Walter: Of course you'll say that.

Randy laughed.

Walter: I hate you.

Randy: You don't.

Walter: I do.

Randy: You're right.

Goodman's.

Saul was signing papers until Randy entered his office.

Saul: Randy?! What are you doing here?

Mayor McDaniels popped her head out from underneath the desk.

Mayor McDaniels: Randy Marsh?!

Saul: Hey! We need to keep this secret.

Mayor McDaniels popped her head back underneath the desk.

Randy: Saul I need you to do something about my will.

Saul: Your will?

Randy: During my time in Albuquerque I realised my will was stupid. If I die, I want all my money to go to my family and I need you to sell my brain to-

Saul: The guys who made The Big Bang Theory?

Randy: No. I realised how stupid that was. Sell my brain to Disney.

Saul: Don't worry I'll get my best forger to work on it.

Randy: Thank you. I'm gonna make one last visit to someone.

Randy exits the office.

Mayor McDaniels pops her head out from underneath the desk again.

Mayor McDaniels: He's doing something good.

Saul: Yeah. Although I already did ask my forger to change the will during an attempt on his life one year ago.

Mayor McDaniels: You are a scumbag. Fuck me on the desk.

Saul: They should call you Mayor McNaughty.

Saul and Mayor McDaniels start French kissing each other.

Old Marsh residence.

Sharon was sitting on the kitchen table until her phone starts ringing.

Sharon answers it.

Sharon: Hello?

Shelly: Mom, Dad is back.

Sharon: Did he say anything to you?

Shelly: No. He just said "Hi" and than asked me what did I think of his beard.

Sharon: Did you compliment on his beard?

Shelly: No not really.

Sharon: Alright. Wendy's here for dinner by the way.

Shelly: Ok, I'll see you when I see you.

Sharon: Bye Shelly.

Sharon hangs up.

Sharon: Talk.

Randy was in the kitchen.

Randy: I didn't want some lousy phone call to be our last goodbye.

Sharon: Uh huh.

Randy: So I decided to do it face to face.

Sharon: Where were you for the last year?

Randy: I moved away, I met a single mother, got married and got a decent job, working at a Cinnabon.

Sharon: At least it's something normal. Why the weed business Randy? Did you really do this for our family?

Randy: No. I did it for me, I liked it, it made me feel alive. And I wanted you and the kids to understand what I was feeling.

Sharon: And you didn't care what we thought about the farm.

Randy: Money and doing what I loved got in too deep into my head. I'm sorry. Where is he?

Sharon: He's in the room. He doesn't wanna talk to you.

Randy sighed.

Randy: I know.

Later.

Stan was in the living room cuddling with Wendy, watching some romantic movie together.

Randy was staring at the two without them knowing.

A single tear fell from Randy's face.

Wendy: Do you smell weed or is it just me?

Stan started sniffing the air.

Stan than looked to where Randy was standing, but he wasn't there.

Later.

Neo Nazi base.

About 4 cars parked up outside the base.

Randy, Walt, PC Principal, Huell, Kuby, Badger, Jimbo and Mike all exit their cars.

Randy: This is it.

Walter: I'll do the talking.

Inside the base.

Jack, Todd and their gang were laughing.

Jack: Now let's hear Todd's fake laugh.

Todd does his fake laugh.

Randy: Mine's faker.

Everyone turned their attention to Randy and his gang.

The gang pointed their guns at the group.

Jack: Not now boys.

Walter: We're here for Jessie and the towel.

Jack laughed.

Jack: You crazy son of a bitch.

PC Principal: Micro Aggression!

PC Principal pulled his gun out.

Walter: NO!

But somebody shoots PC Principal in the eye.

Randy: NOOOOOO!

Jack: OHHHH! Right in the eye!

Randy: NOOOO! Everyone liked him!

Badger: Shit balls. I'm gonna wait in the car.

Randy grabbed Badger by the collar.

Randy: No you're not.

Jack: So, you want the fool and the towel? Alright, bring them forward.

Randy glares at Todd.

Mike (Whispering): Is that him?

Randy (Whispering): Yeah.

Mike glares at Todd.

Two Neo Nazi's bring Jesse and Towelie into the room.

The two were still strapped in chains and both had grown beards.

Badger: Boy everyone has grown a beard in a year.

Jimbo: Can towels grow beards?

Towelie: You're a towel.

Jack: About those two. How much are you willing to give me?

Randy: I have 65 grand in my car.

Walter: I have 43 grand.

Huell: I have 12 dollars.

Kuby: I have 13 dollars.

Jimbo: I've got 5 dollars.

Mike: I have 59 dollars.

Badger: I've got a cent.

Walter: What do you say?

Jack started laughing.

Jack: That's it?

Randy: Is it enough?

Jack: No.

Jimbo pointed his rifle at Jack until somebody shot him right through the head.

Jimbo: It...came right...for me.

Jimbo collapsed.

Randy: Jimbo! Everyone liked him!

Walter (Whispering): Did we really have to hire idiots for an army?

Randy (Whispering): I thought they weren't.

Jack: Anyone else?

Mike: I got a question.

Walter: Mike, we're negotiating!

Mike: Walt, shut the fuck up.

Randy: Listen to Walt, M-

Mike: I said, shut the fuck up. You there young fellow. Did you by any chance have any involvement with the terror attack on the courthouse one year ago?

Todd: What?

Mike: You heard me. Even if you tell me, I won't tell anyone.

Walter: Mike!

Kuby: It's gonna be fucked I know it is.

Huell: I know that too.

Todd shrugged his shoulder.

Todd: Yeah. I did.

Mike: Do you wanna know somebody you killed?

Walter: Mike! Don't do this!

Mike: My niece you ginger Nazi shit.

Mike pulls his gun out.

Badger, Huell and Kuby do the same and they start shooting.

Soon, Jack, Todd and their gang do the same thing.

Walt, Randy, Jesse and Towelie drop to the floor to avoid the gunshots.

During the gunfight a Neo Nazi dies from a hail of bullets.

Badger: This is for Jesse you motherfucker!

Badger shoots a Neo Nazi in the head.

But during the gunfight, Badger gets shot three times and dies from his wounds.

Jack manages to shoot Kuby in the leg.

Kuby falls to the ground but he continues shooting.

But Kuby gets shot in the head by Todd.

The gunfight continued, Huell got shot in the chest and fell to the floor.

Mike continued shooting, he managed to kill a couple of Neo Nazis.

But Todd shoots him in the stomach and Mike falls to the floor.

Soon, the gunfight stopped.

Randy, Walt, Jesse and Towelie get up off the floor.

Jack: Christ, what a mess.

Jack examined the room.

Jack: I've won Walt. I thought you were smarter. Yet you got this dumb piece of shit to assemble an army. Look how fast they went down.

Walt and Randy glared at Jack.

Jack chuckled.

Jack points his gun at the two.

Jack: Goodbye you two, it was nice negotiating.

Randy: Towelie! This was your fault, if you didn't get yourself captured than my brother would still be alive!

Towelie: How the fuck is this my fault?!

Walter: And this is your fault Jesse! If you didn't get yourself captured than Mike would still be alive! And so would your best friend!

Jesse: You did nothing to rescue me for a year! Bitch!

Todd: Can I kill them Uncle Jack?

Jack: No Todd, this might get interesting.

Walter: Call me bitch one more time!

Randy: You're a stupid towel, Towelie!

Towelie: You're a towel!

Randy: Call me towel one more time!

Walter: Go on Jesse, call me bitch one more time!

Jesse: Bitch.

Towelie: Towel.

Both Randy and Walt tacked their targets to the floor and started punching them.

Their targets fought back.

Jack: This is entertaining as fuck man.

During the scuffle, Walt pushes a button he had in his hand and than...

Outside the base, the trunk to one of the cars opens to reveal an automated machine gun and it starts firing at the base.

The bullets went straight through the wall, killing every Neo Nazi.

Jack gets shot a few times in the legs whilst Todd hid behind the couch.

The gunfire continued for a few moments until it finally stopped.

Todd stopped hiding from behind the couch and started to examine the mess.

Todd: What the-

Suddenly Todd was shot in the neck and than the eye.

The shooter was none other than Mike who was still alive, but badly wounded.

Mike (Struggling to breath): For...Deborah.

And with that Mike finally passed on.

Randy and Walt got up off their targets.

Randy pulls a gun out of his pocket and shoots the chains off of Towelie and Jesse.

Jesse quickly disarms the gun from Randy.

Jesse points the gun at Walt.

Towelie grabs a sawed-off shotgun and points it Randy.

Walter: Take your shots.

Randy: We pretty much deserve it.

Jesse and Towelie stare at them.

Jesse: We could've ended it. But you sold us out!

Walter: We had no choice!

Randy: Boys could you hold on a sec.

Randy picked up a pistol and Walt did the same.

They walk over to Jack who was still breathing.

Jack chuckled.

Jack: What a fucking day.

Randy and Walt aim their guns at Jack.

Walter: This is for Gomez, Badger, Huell, Kuby, Jimbo, PC Principal, Mike and Hank.

Randy: Everyone liked them.

Both Randy and Walt started firing off their guns at Jack until they were both empty.

Jack had a lot of bullet holes in his body, but he was no longer breathing.

Randy: Where were w-

Randy held onto his waist and realised that there was a piece of shrapnel lodged into it. He was bleeding real bad.

Randy: Oh fuck.

Randy sat down.

Walter: How about you Jesse?

Jesse continues to point the gun at Walt.

Jesse than notices that Walt also has a piece of shrapnel lodged in his side and it was bleeding really bad.

Jesse throws the gun to the floor.

Jesse: Your choice.

Suddenly Huell got up off the floor.

Walter: You're still alive?

Huell lifted his shirt to reveal he was wearing a bulletproof vest.

Huell removed the bullet lodged in his vest.

Huell notices the bodies.

Huell: Was I the only one who decided to bring protection?

Walter: I guess so. Huell, this will be the last order from me. Take Jesse and Towelie home. Let them begin a new life.

Huell: Whatever you say.

Huell motioned Towelie and Jesse to come with him.

Jesse and Towelie stare at their two supposed rescuers for one last time, before following Huell.

Walt sat beside Randy.

Randy: I can't kill you. I'm too weak.

Walter: So am I. You know during my time in South Park, I never got to try your product. Do you have any on you?

Randy pulls two buds out of his pocket.

Randy: They're victory cigars, or victory buds.

Randy pulls a lighter out of his pocket and lights the buds.

Randy hands one of the buds to Walt and Walt smokes it.

Randy does the same.

Walter: I'm not gonna lie, this was the best weed I ever smoked. And I rarely smoke it.

Randy chuckled.

Randy: Well that's Tegridy.

Randy and Walt laughed for one last time, before their eyes stayed open and their breathing stopped.

**Epilogue.**

We than cut to a room filled with executives, one of them being Vince Gilligan the creator of Breaking Bad.

Vince: What the hell was that?

Cartman: A TV show.

Vince: It was terrible. I would never do anything like that.

Cartman: Why the hell not?!

Vince: I don't want some stupid show based on your stupid friend's Dad and one of the greatest TV characters of all time.

Cartman: How about more Skyler? Would that help?

Vince: Get the fuck out of my office.


End file.
